Mal would never do that to Nico. He loved him too much. He gazed at him with heart eyes, smiled at him in a way that stole a piece of his soul every time.
“I do jerk off,” Nico muttered, cheeks flaming. “It’s not the same.”
“Oh. Right,” Mal said, continuing to fuss with the hem of Nico’s shirt.
“I just miss…” Nico started, then let his words die.
Mal’s gaze found his, pinning him in place without even touching him. Nico had never understood it when people said it was like all the air had been sucked from the room. But he got it now. It was hard to breathe, hard to think, his whole body was on high alert, every featherlight brush against his skin lighting him up somehow. Nico was afraid to look away, but also afraid not to. They were getting into dangerous territory.
“Miss…?” Mal prompted, his eyes dropping to Nico’s lips and back again.
Don’t do it. Don’t say it. Just go take another shower and jerk off.
Nico slowly dragged his finger along his lower lip, looking up at Mal. “Kissing…making out.” Mal followed the trail of Nico’s finger with his gaze, his own lips parting, giving Nico a glimpse of his pink tongue. He heard himself say, “Like, even the hookups I’ve had in the past always just, you know, skip right past the foreplay stuff and get right to…it. But it’s hard to demand foreplay when you’ve made it clear you don’t even want to know their last name. You know?”
Mal gave a singular shake of his head. “No, I don’t know,” he said, voice unusually low. “I can’t imagine missing an opportunity to explore every part of you–” He cleared his throat awkwardly– “uh, a p-person’s body.”
Nico fought a shiver…silence stretching between them like a wire pulling tighter and tighter.
“Right…” he whispered, eyes darting wildly around Mal’s face, looking for anything that would somehow snap him out of whatever was happening between them.
But Nico was weak. He was so weak. He was not only weak but just a shit human. Was it wrong to want this from Mal, too? Of course, it was. They were friends. Best friends. If Nico didn’t have Mal, he would literally die. Levi and Shiloh claimed they were each other’s soulmates. That was what Mal was to him. His soulmate. His…platonic…non-romantic soulmate.
“I mean…we could kiss,” Mal said, reluctantly dragging his eyes from Nico’s, his words uncertain.
Nico swallowed the lump of sand in his throat. “We’re friends,” he managed weakly.
Mal nodded, fingers leaving the hem of his shirt to skate underneath it, touching Nico’s belly, making the muscles there quiver, making his insides quiver. He leaned closer, his scent filling Nico’s head driving away all logic and reason, before sending another shock of need straight to his dick. Why did he have to smell so good? Why did he have to look so good? Nico had never wanted anything so badly in his life.
Mal dipped his head, sending Nico’s heart into a tailspin. “Can’t we be friends who kiss?”
“That’s not a thing,” Nico choked, with so little conviction even he didn’t believe it.
“We already do things friends don’t do,” Mal reasoned, fingertip teasing at the hem of Nico’s boxers, making his cock twitch. If Mal dropped his gaze, he’d see just how much he was affecting Nico with his words, his presence, his touch. Nico was drowning in Mal.
Still, he fought the pull at his core. “That’s not true.”
Mal’s finger never stopped but he gave Nico a look, now so close Mal could feel his breath on his cheek, smell his toothpaste. “We sleep in the same bed together.”
“‘Cause the couch is broken,” he muttered.
“We snuggle.”
“I get cold,” Nico huffed.
“We shower togeth?—”
“One time,” Nico gasped, cutting him off. “To conserve hot water.”
A smile twitched at Mal’s lips but then quickly died, his soul penetrating stare burning away Nico’s resolve water on a grease fire. “So, what’s so different about us kissing?”
Weak. Weak. Weak. And wrong. And a terrible person. So weak.
“Well, I guess…” He trailed off.
He could hear Levi and the others judging him from miles away. And they should. He was considering Mal’s question, knowing every single reason why they shouldn’t. Nothing good would come from them crossing that line.
Except mutual orgasms.
