Nico couldn’t even talk, he just made a sound as close to a word as he could manage.
Slap.
This one was a barely-there slap to his other thigh, right at the crease just below his ass cheek. It took all his strength to make himself say, “Ten.”
His words were slurred.
Mal carefully tipped him up, allowing him to get his feet under him, but his knees gave out immediately. Mal caught him, cradling him in his lap. It was over, but his tears wouldn’t stop. Why was he still bawling when it was over? The pain was still there, like a bad sunburn, but it hardly warranted the sobs escaping from deep in his chest.
“Shh,” Mal soothed, combing through Nico’s sweat-damp curls. “You’re okay. You’re okay, baby.”
Was he? He felt like Mal had flayed open his insides, leaving every single insecurity on display for him to look at and examine like one of his hyper-fixations. Nico’s heart was as raw as his skin.
Mal rocked him in his arms like a child. “You did so well. You were so good. So pretty. Do you know how long I’ve wanted to see you like that? Over my knee? And you were impeccable.”
This was supposed to be about sex. But this was something else entirely. Something painful and cathartic, something that soothed as much as it chafed. It had to stop. He wanted to go back to the meaningless sex Mal had promised last night.
“Are you going to fuck me now?” he asked, still weeping into Mal’s neck.
“Do you want me to fuck you?” Mal countered, his tone full of patience.
Nico’s heart pounded in his ears, his eyes red and swollen, his head stuffy. He pulled back to look at Mal miserably. “Isn’t that the whole point of this?”
Mal kissed his forehead, then his nose. “No, Fidget. The point is to teach you.”
“Teach me what?” he asked, voice pouty.
“Not to avoid me, for starters. Not to forget to take your pills for another.”
Nico stared at him, incredulous. “So, you don’t want to have sex with me?”
“Don’t be stupid. I always want to have sex with you. But not unless you actually want it.”
Was Mal fucking with him? “I know you can see how hard I am.”
Mal shifted until Nico found himself flat on his back looking up at him. He looked flawless, not a hair out of place. And Nico was a sweaty, disgusting wreck. He covered his face with his hands.
Mal tugged them away, staring at him like he was the most radiant thing he’d ever seen. He swiped his thumbs beneath Nico’s eyes, brushing away his tears and soothing the ache. “I’ll fuck you.”
Nico could feel thebutcoming from ten billion light years away. He glowered up at Mal. “But?”
Mal dipped his head, claiming his mouth once more in a lazy but thorough kiss. When he pulled back, he said, “But it’s going to be just like this. With the lights on. With you looking at me. You won’t get to hide. When I fuck you, you’ll know exactly who’s taking you apart, and you’ll look at me just like this as I bury myself inside you.”
Nico’s panic shot up, eyes going wide. What the fuck? “I thought we were just going to be friends who fuck exclusively.”
Wasn’t that what they’d said last night? Wasn’t that what they’d decided? Nico was a little fuzzy on the details. Last night had been a lot. Very rarely did Chinese gangsters and orgasms happen on the same night you learn your best friend is an evil mastermind.
“Did you?” Mal asked, studying him, cupping his face. “What about our conversation last night made you think that I would ever let you settle for that?”
Nico frowned, racking his brain. “You said…”
Mal arched his brow. “I said I’d kill anyone who touched you. Did that sound ambiguous in any way?”
“Well…no. But I stand by what I’ve always said. Relationships destroy people.”
Mal gave him that infuriatingly patient look, the one he gave him when he thought he was being silly. “We’re surrounded by dozens of couples that prove that’s entirely untrue.”
“In my family,” Nico clarified. “Relationships destroy everything. It’s a curse. One of those generational ones. My mom used to say we must have been cross-makers in Jerusalem for all the bad karma we’ve been forced to pay off in this life. We’re just not the type of people that other people fall in love with. No strings attached is easier.”
