Mal’s lips twitched. “Oh, is that important?”
“I don’t know. Isn’t there, like, a protocol to this or something?” Nico muttered.
“Do you transform into the faultless little sub at sundown?” Mal teased, eyes sparkling. “My own little Cinderella of the kink world.”
Nico’s insides were melting. The more Mal taunted him, the more he ached. Why wouldn’t he just do something? Make the decision for him? He couldn’t do it himself. He’d never been so confused and horny.
“I-I just thought that…could we turn the lights off?” he asked, voice small.
They didn’t have any windows, so it would be pitch black, easier for Nico to hide.
“You want me to spank you in the dark, Fidget?” Mal said, his amusement obvious. “That sounds dangerous.”
“We could turn the LED lights on. Red would be kind of…sexy, right?” Nico tried again.
He wanted this. He wanted Mal, wanted this punishment and whatever came with it, but not with the lights on. Not if he could see that it was Mal and not some random stranger who didn’t have every one of Nico’s cheat codes memorized. He was barely holding onto his heart as it was. Mal had to know—he had to understand why Nico needed it this way. He knew everything.
Mal closed the small gap between them, catching his chin between thumb and forefinger and forcing him to meet his gaze. “The lights stay on.”
Nico could feel real tears threatening to choke him. “Why?”
Mal tilted his head, studying Nico for a long moment before dipping his head, his mouth closing over his. Mal kissed him like he owned him, like he had every right to this lazy exploration that made Nico feel faint. And Nico let him. He opened his mouth so eagerly, swept his tongue over Mal’s, whimpering as he stood there trembling.
When Mal pulled away, Nico was pretty sure he took his soul with him. He felt empty. Hollow. Confused. So confused. But he was still painfully hard, leaking into his underwear, dancing on a knife blade while Mal studied him.
Finally, he said, “When the lights are off, I don’t get to see you cry.” He looked Nico in the eye. “I want to see you cry for me, Fidget.”
Nico didn’t know if he was having a heart attack, a panic attack, or if he just desperately longed to get off. He wanted to cry, to beg, to get out of his own fucking head and just let Mal take over. Nico had never been any good at making decisions.
Mal wanting to see Nico cry didn’t lessen his fears, but it sounded a lot less intimate than the feelings backing up in Nico’s chest and crushing his lungs.
“You wanna make me cry?” Nico said faintly.
“I want to make you scream…” Mal clarified silkily. “But we can start here and see how you do.”
“You’re kind of terrifying,” Nico whispered.
“I’m just giving you what you asked for, Fidget,” Mal said, stroking Nico’s cheek. “You’re the one who wanted it to hurt.”
“I’ve…” Nico squeezed his eyes shut. “Nobody’s ever actually spanked me when we weren’t…you know, in the act.”
That seemed to bring Mal up short. He stared hard at Nico, like he was trying to read him. Nico’s heart stopped. Was Mal going to pull the plug? Had Nico said too much?
“One word and this all stops,” Mal said gently. “You said this was what you wanted. You know I’d give you anything. If you’ve changed your mind…”
Nico’s head was spinning. “I do want it. I’m just…”
“Scared?” Mal offered.
Yes.“No.”
“Stalling, then,” Mal said, nodding as if he’d come to some internal decision. “I think maybe we should wait?—”
“No!” Nico said again, fear shocking through him. “No. I-I can do it. I-I want to do it. Just…” Nico straightened his spine and forced his nerves back. “Tell me again.”
Mal smiled, capturing his lips once more in a kiss that had Nico holding on for dear life. “So brave.”
Nico blinked up at him, feel-good chemicals flooding his system from just those two words alone.
