“That nobody will be there for me,” he mumbled, tears once more spilling onto his cheeks before gravity dragged them to his pillow case. “Like Adam will be up there with his brothers and his side of the church will be filled with hundreds of people and mine will just be…empty. No family. No friends. Nobody who gives a fuck about me and like, I start to panic and I just don’t want to do it.”
“You don’t want to get married?” Felix said softly.
No sobbed harder. “No, of course, I do. I just don’t want to get married with a bunch of people staring at me like I’m some orphaned gold-digger who landed a Mulvaney.”
“Okay, that’s not who you are at all,” Felix said. “But second of all, who gives even half a fuck what the rest of the worldthinks? Do you think they don’t think that about literally all of us?”
“But you had friends and family show up for you at your weddings. Or at least friends. I don’t have any of those either.”
The more he thought about it, the more emotional it made him and the harder he cried.
“Noah, sweetie, I say this with love,” Felix said. “You’re being fucking crazy.”
“I’m not.”
“You are a little bit. It’s okay. It happens to all of us. Sometimes we just need a good emotional purge or whatever, but none of this is true.”
Noah sniffled, shaking his head. They just didn’t get it. “Tell that to my wedding planners. Every time they ask who my groomsmen are or who my best man is or where the guest list is for my side, I don’t have anything to put down, and I see the look on their faces.”
“Isthatwhy you keep firing them?” Zane asked, a soft smile forming.
“I don’t need their fucking judgey looks,” Noah sobbed.
“Well, one: you wouldn’t have gotten them if you’d just asked me and Cricket to plan the wedding. Two: we need to have a coming to Beyoncé moment here, because you, my love, are spiraling. Like, I get it. Planning my wedding was a nightmare?—”
“You were a nightmare,” Zane clarified.
Felix sat up, pointing a perfectly manicured nail in his direction. “Don’t be mean.” He pulled Noah up until he was sitting. “Anyway,” he emphasized, giving Zane ‘the look’. “Your side of the aisle willnotbe empty. You will not be up there alone. We’re your groomsman, dummy. Me, Zane, Jericho, Lucas. Just like you were for us. As for friends, we have the same friend group. Dimitri, Arlo, Cree, Seven, Arsen, Lake, Nico, Levi…all the other lost boys that follow my brother around like he’sfucking Peter Pan. They love you. We love you. They’ll be in the pews for you. I know that’s not a lot, but let's be real, that’s more than Adam will have.”
“He’s right,” Zane confirmed, dragging himself to a sitting position. “It's going to be the same thing that happened at all our weddings. The church will be filled with dad’s friends and business contacts. And they’ll be sitting on both sides of the aisle. Trust me. Those entitled assholes sit wherever they want.”
Noah laughed through his tears. “That’s true.”
Felix used the sheet to dab at Noah’s face. “No more crying over shitty family or imaginary wedding tragedies. Okay?”
Zane squeezed Noah’s hand. “Yeah, weddings are supposed to be happy. You’re marrying the love of your life.”
“Even if the love of your life is somehow Adam,” Felix teased, making Noah laugh and cry at the same time. “Okay?”
Noah nodded. “What’s in the bags?”
“Chocolate and liquor,” Felix said, leaning over to grab the bag, then upending it.
Noah grabbed for a chocolate bar, tearing it open with his teeth. Downstairs, Noah listened as the door opened, then closed again. He frowned. That was a short walk. Not that Dexter actually walked anywhere. He was a ten year old asthmatic gas bag who was genetically bred to be perpetually short of breath. They carried him outside and let him do his thing, and then put him in the doggy stroller.
Well, Noah put him in the stroller. Adam liked to strap Dexter into a baby harness strapped to his chest. He claimed the stroller drew too much attention from people thinking there might be a baby inside, whereas carrying an overweight, gassy dog was kind of like walking around with a weapon. People tended to steer clear.
A sense of unease filled him as Felix and Zane seemed to slide to the edge of the bed as if they were anticipating having to leave.The sound of shoes hitting the stair risers, had Noah darting his gaze at the others accusingly. “He didn’t!”
Before they could answer, Thomas appeared. He wore expensive dark wash jeans and a snowy white zip front cardigan. Thomas Mulvaney, his future father-in-law, was standing in his bedroom. And Noah was naked. Covered by a sheet. But still, very much naked.
To his horror, Noah burst into tears, burying his face in his hands. “Oh, my God. I can’t believe he called you too.”
Thomas heaved a heavy sigh, noting Noah’s state of undress. He looked at Zane and Felix. “Can you boys give us a few minutes before you continue your…party?”
“Yeah, sure,” Zane said.
They both hurried quickly down the stairs, then the door to their tiny balcony opened and closed. He looked at Thomas, miserable. “I’m so sorry he called you. I’m fine. Everything is fine. I was just having a bad day. I’ve already taken care of everything that needed to be done today because I’ve been up since I’ve been up all ni?—”
