Asa groaned, then kissed Zane’s cheeks and nose and chin. “Stop apologizing. I get that your mom fucked up a lot of things for you. We just want to try to unfuck as many of them as we can.”
“Did you tell Felix and Avi not to come home?” Zane finally asked.
“No, it was Felix’s idea. He said we needed some alone time. That you might need some reassurance of your place in my life. Is that true, Lois? Do you doubt how important you are to me?”
Zane closed his eyes. “You can’t ask me this shit when I’m all cum-drunk and vulnerable.”
Asa snorted. “Sure I can. It’s the only time I know you won’t lie to me to make me feel better.”
Zane sighed, closing his eyes and trying to organize his thoughts into something more than, ‘I’m really insecure. Sorry.’ “I never doubt that I’m important to you. I just sometimes wonder…”
Asa frowned. “Wonder what?” he asked, his voice sharp.
Zane felt this unbearable tightness in his chest and for a split second he worried he was going to cry again. “I-I just wonder why,” he managed, his voice barely a whisper.
“What do you mean, why?” Asa asked, looking so genuinely mystified that Zane felt stupid for even thinking he was undeserving. “Lois, you…”
Zane’s brow furrowed… “I…”
“You’re everything to me. I can’t believe you don’t see that? That you don’t get that. This thing between us…it’s…cosmic. It’s something so deeply ingrained in me that it’s tied to my DNA. I feel as tied to you as I do to Avi. That’s how much I need you. The four of us…you, me, Avi, Felix…we work, we are a family within a family. When the twins get here, they’ll be linked to us too. But you and me…it’s next level.”
“Are you trying to say you love me?” Zane teased, because he was afraid Asa might see that his heart was about to burst out of his chest.
Asa scoffed. “Love is such a soft word for what I feel for you, Lois. The things I would do for you are…” He stopped, then pressed a hard kiss to Zane’s lips. “I would commit atrocities in your name. I would wage wars, seize countries, sink ships for you.”
Zane’s breath punched from his lungs. “Wow,” he managed, swallowing the lump in his throat, blinking back more tears. “And I was just hoping there was cake.”
Asa kissed Zane’s eyelids. “Lois…of course, there’s cake.”
Zane was sore but sated. He and Asa had stayed up late eating cake in the bathtub, then watching a horror movie that was more silly than scary, before fucking the night away until Zane literally passed out underneath him in the early morning hours.
Now, he floated to consciousness in increments, his brain taking note of things far before he was ready to crack open swollen eyelids. He was in bed. Someone warm and sleek, with petal soft skin laid on top of him, as comforting as a weighted blanket, smelling of herbs and flowers.
Somewhere to his left, he heard the shower running, the way the water hit the tile letting Zane know someone was already under the water. Asa. He vaguely remembered him saying he had a meeting at nine-thirty but he’d cancel for Zane if he wanted. Zane had told him not to bother. He wanted to sleep in and be lazy, maybe watch a K-Drama with Felix if he got home early enough.
Soft lips pressed against Zane’s temple, making him smile and bury his face in silky tresses, inhaling deeply. He made a happy sound, his arms coming around Felix before trying to push his face against his neck where his scent was always strongest.
“Morning, baby,” Felix whispered against his ear, teeth catching his earlobe in a nibble that made Zane’s morning hard-on twitch with interest.
“Mmm. Hi, Lixie,” he mumbled, still not opening his heavy lids. “You’re back already? What time is it?”
“It’s already eight-thirty in the morning, sleepyhead. Late night?” he teased, kissing his cheek, his jaw, any place he could trail his lips over without either of them having to move. Zane made a noise in the affirmative. Felix ghosted his lips over Zane’s, dipping his tongue inside when his lips parted easily. “It's my turn to celebrate your birthday with you, Zaney.”
Something withered inside Zane’s chest at the word, just as it had the night before. It was clear none of them were going to let this birthday thing go uncelebrated. But last night was…lovely. Intense. Different.
Sexy.
Maybe birthdays with his found family—hischosenfamily—could be different. He wanted them to be different. He didn’t want to dread getting another year older because Beverly had made a point of telling Zane what a burden he was every year on that day. He forced himself to push thoughts of her out of his brain. She didn’t deserve the space. She never had.
Felix licked the tip of Zane’s nose, bringing him back to the present. “Did you fall asleep again?”
“No,” he murmured, petting over Felix’s hair. “I’m awake. Stay with me.”
Felix shifted his hips where they rested against Zane’s, using his legs to push Zane’s wider, letting him feel his hard lengthpressed against his hip through the silk robe he wore. “Oh, I’m gonna,” he said, his voice promising something filthy, making Zane shiver. “Can I give you your present now?”
“Do I have to open my eyes for it?” Zane asked. “I’m so sleepy.”
Felix laughed, his voice breathy and low in that way that made Zane’s brain happy. Felix’s voice was Zane’s Xanax. Felix didn’t talk, he purred. “No, baby.” He sucked on Zane’s bottom lip, biting it gently, then releasing it. “All you have to do is lay here and let me take care of you. Can you do that?”
