Gift was one hundred percent Park’s business. But he didn’t tell Boone that. Actions spoke louder than words, anyway. And if Payton didn’t keep his hands to himself, Park would show him that by removing those hands and shoving them right up his skinny little ass.
“How do I look?” Gift asked, tone hopeful. “Fuckable? Or, at the very least, kissable?”
It was that time again. The time of night where Gift made his nightly pilgrimage to Park’s room so they could have dinner and stare at their plates. Tonight would be different. He would make it different. He would find a way to get Park to talk to him, to notice him, to…see him. Or, at the very least, he’d find a way to shock him into acknowledging him as a person. His friends seemed to think the way to do that was to wear something that showed off all his…assets.
Morgan and Dove scrunched up their faces as they scrutinized him from their spot on his bed. “Turn around,” Morgan ordered.
Gift flushed but did as he was told, turning until he faced the mirror once more.
“Very few people can pull off white jeans but those are perfect,” Dove gushed. “They show off your perfect ass and your narrow little waist. It’s so teeny.”
“Is having a narrow waist good?” Gift asked, finding Payton’s gaze in the mirror. He stood behind him, leaning on the desk, legs crossed at the ankles, one arm across his chest and the other held up like he was scheming.
Before he could answer, Morgan gave him a dirty smile. “Yeah, it’s good. Park will definitely be imagining wrapping his hands around those hips and letting you bounce that fat ass on his dick.”
“Morgan,” Gift gasped, face in flames.“Oh, my God.”
“What?” she asked, defensive. “Is that not why we’re all here giving you this makeover? To get you on Park’s dick? Don’t tell me you’re a top ‘cause I won’t believe it.”
“That’s offensive,” Payton said. “Top, bottom, verse—they have nothing to do with size or masculinity. Trust me. Nobody knows that better than me.”
Morgan rolled her eyes. “Whatever, he just seems like a little bit of a pillow princess. Sorry for being honest or whatever.”
What was Gift doing? His chest hurt, like his heart and lungs were swelling from the magnitude of her words. Was he really going to try to seduce Park? Even when there was, like, a less than one percent chance he’d be successful at it. Maybe he should just go find some random person and get it over with?
It wasn’t like he thought his virginity was anything precious. It was really the opposite. Just some weird man-made construct designed to make women feel bad about their desires. That wasn’t the problem. The problem was his brain. It couldn’t get turned on for someone he didn’t care about.
Literally. He had no desire to let a stranger touch or kiss him in any kind of sexual manner. It was like his body repelled the idea, recoiling at the thought. Being that intimate with a stranger just didn’t sit right in Gift’s head, not for any moral reason but because of something wired differently in his brain. He settled for jerking off in the shower. At least, he knew he could do that.
For a while, he’d thought he was asexual. That he just didn’t feel things. But then he’d developed a crush on his friend, Ethan, in tenth grade. His straight friend. And even though he hadn’t stood a chance, his body had refused to get the memo. It made for a lot of awkward sleepovers, but he’d been a little bit relieved to at least know whether sex was going to be a part of his life or not.
He’d found other guys and girls visually appealing. He liked the way girls’ hair smelled and their soft skin. He liked men’s voices and the way some of them looked at him like they wanted him. He liked dating, he liked orgasms, but he just couldn’t mix those two things together until he had feelings for a person. After Ethan, he hadn’t imagined that day would ever come again. But then his mother had forced him to move in with Park.
It wasn’t instantaneous, like a lightning strike. But it was fast. Weeks, maybe a month or two. What did that say about Gift? Probably nothing good. But he loved Park. Even if he treated Gift like an inconvenience, an annoyance, an obligation. Park also held doors for him, held his umbrella, pulled out his chair, made sure he was warm, served him first.
It was a million little things that led to the warmth that pooled in his belly whenever Park was near, that made his heart race and his cock thicken any time Park so much as looked at him. And now, he was there, asking his friends to Cinderella him into getting dicked down by his mother’s best friend.
Gift chewed on his lip, stomach churning, absently noticing the gloss on his lips tasted like cherries. “Stop that,” Payton snapped. “You’ll eat it all before Park has a chance to taste it.”
Payton was in full-scale attack mode. He’d put Gift in the white jeans the girls were raving over. He’d also put him in a sleeveless v-neck black Gucci sweater that looked like it had been chewed up by moths, but the holes and snags tastefully revealed flashes of Gift’s belly, chest, and back.
It was supposed to be worn with a shirt underneath, but Payton had scoffed at the idea.
“Look, we’re at war here,” he said. “That lip gloss is strategic. This whole outfit is. Those jeans put your ass on full display—there’s no way he’ll miss it. The sweater shows off your surprisingly muscular arms and smooth skin, reminding him that you’re very much an adult. The lip gloss will bring attention to your pretty, pouty lips and, hopefully, make him think about having them wrapped around his—”
“I get it,” Gift yelped. “Jeez, I get it.”
Why was he so nervous? Back in Bangkok, he’d dressed like this all the time. Overseas, too. But not when he was in Chiang Mai with his parents. And, in his head, Park was an extension of them. Sort of. But not really, because he didn’t want to fuck either of his parents, and he definitely wanted Park inside him immediately if not sooner.
Gift studied himself in the mirror.
He didn’t suddenly look ten years older or any less like a kewpie doll, but he was…pretty. If he was back home, he could have had his pick of the boys his age. But his body had made it clear there was only one man for him right now and that was Park.
Butterflies took flight in his stomach as he noted the time. “Am I good? I have to go soon.”
Dove and Morgan rose, giving him another thorough once-over.
“Something’s missing, no?” Dove asked, circling him like a vulture.
