Ever shrugged.
“What about love?”
What about love? Arsen’s face immediately came to mind. Arsen protected him and took care of him and kept him safe. Arsen loved him. He told him so every night and every morning before he went to work downstairs.
“Who are you thinking about right now?”
“What?” Ever asked, cheeks burning.
“When I said love, your face changed completely. Who were you thinking about?”
“Arsen,” Ever admitted. “He loves me.”
“And do you love him?”
Ever nodded. “Yeah.”
“I see.”
Ever’s gaze flicked to Jeremiah, and that tight feeling returned to his chest. “Don’t say it like that.”
“Like what?” Jeremiah asked, tilting his head in a way Ever found inexplicably infuriating.
“Like it’s not real. Like it’s just some fake emotion or trauma response. I love him and he loves me. Even if we haven’t known each other that long.”
Jeremiah frowned. “I didn’t think that at all. But it seems like you might.”
“No.”
“No?”
“No,” Ever said again, faintly. “People can fall in love at first sight. People can find their soulmates. People can have their happily ever after. Just because it happened fast doesn’t mean it’s not real.”
“Nobody’s saying it isn’t real, Ever. Nobody but you.”
“I love him,” Ever said fiercely.
“I believe you,” Jeremiah assured him. “But at some point, we’re going to have to examine why you’re so sure nobody else does.”
Ever glared at him. “I didn’t say that.”
“I think this is enough for one day. No? Why don’t we talk again in a few days?”
Ever nodded, miserable, feeling like he’d failed a test somehow.
* * *
“What does your name mean?”
Arsen looked up at Ever in surprise. He didn’t blame Arsen. It was a strange non sequitur. They’d been lying in bed, Arsen’s head on Ever’s belly, talking about fairly mundane things. The part for a ‘65 Shelby that hadn’t come in on time, the pasta they’d made off a YouTube tutorial an hour ago that had somehow tasted like rubber soaked in lemons, Felix’s diatribe in the group chat about proper post-sex etiquette and the cleaning of sex toys.
They’d talked about anything and everything…except Ever’s therapy appointment that afternoon.
“My name?” Arsen echoed.
Arsen hadn’t pushed Ever about his session at all. He appeared perfectly content to let Ever act like the whole thing had never happened. And Ever was grateful. Arsen treated it as if it was any other night. He’d let Ever control everything, from dinner to the shower sex, which was how they’d ended up eating pizza naked in bed with damp hair and a movie playing on Arsen’s laptop in the middle of the mattress.
The pizza was long gone, the movie was over. Now, they were lying there, Ever’s legs twisted in the sheets, Arsen lying sideways, head heavy on Ever’s slightly bloated tummy.
