Ever froze. “What?”
He pulled back slightly. “Condom? I need to get one.”
Ever frowned. “Why?”
Arsen studied him, frowning. “Well… I mean, I’m negative for anything and you are, too, so I guess we don’t have to use one, but some people say it makes it easier the first time.”
Ever chewed on his lower lip. Was it weird to say he didn’t want anything between them? Was it stupid or childish or gross? He glanced up at Arsen’s face. His look was so earnest it made Ever’s chest hurt.
Finally, he said, “Can we just not use one?” He looked away, afraid Arsen might see how desperately he wanted him to say yes.
Arsen’s lips brushed his forehead. “When are you going to get that I would amputate a limb if you asked me to? It’s all okay. Whatever you want, whenever you want it, it’s yours.I’myours.Navsegda.”
Ever stared at him, shocked. “Oh.”
Arsen shifted, widening Ever’s legs. He closed his eyes, focusing instead on the sounds. The lube cap opening, the heavy sounds of their breathing, the way the bed shifted and squeaked with each movement. Then Arsen was back, his weight a comforting pressure, blunting out the fear. Ever’s breath hitched as the head of Arsen’s cock pressed against his entrance.
“Just breathe, okay?”
Ever nodded, wrapping his arms around Arsen’s neck, the air punching from his lungs as Arsen breached him. The burn was intense, his body instantly rejecting the invasion. He was big—far bigger than he looked and he looked pretty intimidating. Or maybe Ever was just too small.
His nails dug into Arsen’s skin, half-panicked whining sounds falling from his lips, but, this time, Arsen didn’t stop—he knew Ever didn’t want him to stop. He just slowly sank deeper into him until their bodies were flush against each other.
Arsen was so deep inside him. The thought made his whole body hot and cold. Arsen was inside him. Did Arsen like it? He wasn’t moving, just sucking in panting breaths in-between kisses to whatever skin he could reach. Ever’s neck, his jaw, his ear.
“Are you okay?” he finally murmured.
Was he? Ever shifted experimentally. The burn was gone, replaced only by that feeling of fullness. “Yeah,” he managed. “You can move.”
Ever was no longer hard, the pain and the anxiety taking its toll, but when Arsen rolled his hips, his eyes widened at the sensation.
Arsen groaned. “You’re so fucking tight. Fuck.”
Heat shot through him. He didn’t know if that was good or bad. Was he making Arsen feel good? He wanted to do that for him. His dick twitched at that thought. Arsen wasn’t thrusting, just sort of rocking into him. Ever tried to catalog everything. The weight of Arsen on top of him, his sweat-soaked skin beneath his palms, the way his back muscles moved and flexed. The way his breathing sped up with his movements until he was working into him.
“Does it feel good?” Ever heard himself ask.
“Da, da,you feel so good,” Arsen promised, his voice like gravel.
Ever slid his hands into his hair, pulling him down to slant their mouths together. Arsen’s kiss was greedy, his tongue aggressive. He was driving into Ever now, pulling almost all the way out and slamming home, the head of his cock hitting that same spot inside with each motion.
Ever felt dizzy. “Am I doing good?” he asked against Arsen’s lips.
Arsen’s hips stuttered at the question. He nipped Ever’s lower lip, then his mouth was back at his ear. “You’re doing so well. So fucking good. My good boy. So fucking perfect.”
Heat pooled in Ever’s belly, his cock hardening at Arsen’s praise. “Promise?”
Arsen kissed him once more. It was sloppy and messy and absent, like he was too caught up in his own bliss to focus on hitting his mark. “I promise,” he whispered. “Do you feel good?”
He did. But he didn’t know how to verbalize why. He liked making Arsen feel good. He liked the feeling of their bodies joining, liked the way Arsen said his name like a prayer and used his body like he just couldn’t stop himself. “Yes.”
Arsen sat up between Ever’s open legs, dragging him until his hips were on Arsen’s thighs, his legs splayed wide. His thrusts slowed as he grabbed the lube, pouring it into his palm, then wrapped his fingers around Ever’s flushed cock.
“I think we can do better than that,” he said, squeezing until Ever moaned. “That’s better.”
Then he was moving once more, fisting Ever in time with his thrusts until Ever’s mouth went dry and he couldn’t stop theuh-uh-uhsounds that escaped each time Arsen drove into him.
Ever couldn’t stop looking, couldn’t stop watching as Arsen fucked him, jerked him off, and looked at him like he was the only thing in the world. That was what did it. The half-drunk look on Arsen’s face and the lust in his eyes when he watched Ever.
