Ever studied Noah.Didhe believe him? He had no reason not to. Arsen clearly trusted him. Jericho, too. But trusting people had never really worked out in his favor before. Trust was earned and he’d only met Noah five minutes ago. “I don’t know you.”
Noah nodded. “Then let me tell you something about myself.”
Ever sat forward the tiniest bit. “Okay.”
Noah took a deep breath. “When I was a kid, I was kidnapped by a really bad man who convinced me that he was my father, even while he did horrible things to me. Things no father should do. Things nobody should do. He let other people do those things to me, too.”
Ever’s tongue darted out to wet his suddenly dry lower lip. Was he telling the truth? It didn’t feel like a lie. But why would he just tell Ever all of these things unprompted? Ever flushed as it dawned on him that Noah knew what Jennika had done to him. What she’d let others do to him. Of course, he did. They all did.
Noah’s gaze left him to look at the wall over Ever’s shoulder. “It was so bad that I buried those memories deep down until something triggered them and they all came rushing back.”
“Why are you telling me this?” Ever asked, genuinely confused.
“Because I’m hoping it will help you believe that we all just want to help you. That we can be trusted. That Arsen can be trusted. Nobody in our circle will ever do anything to hurt you. You’re safe with us.”
“Levi tried to steal my food,” Ever heard himself say.
Heat bloomed on his face. Why had he said that?
Noah laughed once more. “Levi has no manners. I heard you bit him.”
“Not hard,” Ever mumbled.
Noah waved a hand. “It’s good for him. Maybe, next time, he’ll keep his hands to himself.”
Ever’s gaze strayed to the platinum band on Noah’s left hand. “You’re married?”
“Yeah. We got married a few months ago. Finally. We’ve been together for a while, but I had to work through my shit and deal with my past before I could officially commit myself to Adam forever. I didn’t want to bring my old life into my new one, you know?”
Ever sucked his bottom lip between his teeth, chewing thoughtfully. Noah had trauma and a husband. “Did Adam know about your past?”
“Yes. Adam’s the one who triggered my memories,” Noah admitted.
Ever’s gaze went wide. “And you…married him?”
“It wasn’t intentional. Well, it was. But he gave me the chance to walk away. I didn’t take it.”
Ever floundered, wanting to ask a million questions but having no idea what questions were out of line. “Did what happened to you change the way he treated you?”
Noah snorted. “No. But you have to understand, my husband…he doesn’t have the same feelings other people do.”
“What does that mean?”
“My husband is a psychopath. He doesn’t feel guilt or remorse. He has no real empathy.”
Ever’s pulse whooshed in his ears. “What does that matter?”
“When people know about your past, sometimes, they tend to try to insulate you. They want to put you in this victim box and they expect you to behave accordingly. You’re supposed to have flashbacks or triggers. You’re supposed to fear certain people or hate certain smells. They treat you with kid gloves. Adam never did that. He couldn’t. He wasn’t capable.”
“So, after your memories came back, you were just…fine?” Ever asked, hating how much he envied Noah.
This time, Noah’s laugh was bitter. “No, I was definitely not fine. I’m still not. Certain smells do trigger my memories. I will never have kids because I am too afraid that someone will hurt them like they hurt me. Sometimes, when my past comes crashing in, I drink too much and Adam has to wrap me in a blanket burrito and watch hours of cartoons with me until I can pull it together again.”
“A blanket burrito?”
“It’s a thing. Being wrapped tight in a blanket. It has a calming effect. It helps.” Ever nodded but still didn’t quite understand. “Are you having any…triggers?”
Ever brought his thumbnail to his lips, gnawing it between his teeth for a moment. “I… Not really? I…I’m scared. A lot. I hate loud noises. Mostly, I just feel stupid.”
