Please let me keep him.
Jericho felt…good. Ever didn’t know how else to explain it. Whenever he was around someone like Jennika and her friends, there was a heaviness to them. A weight that just sat on Ever’s chest, stealing his breath. It didn’t feel that way with Arsen. It didn’t feel that way with Jericho, either.
When he called Evergatitoand smiled, it didn’t feel fake or like he wanted something from him. He’d been gentle when he’d talked to Ever last night. Or was it this morning? Ever wasn’t even sure anymore. Everything sort of blurred together. Maybe it was because Arsen trusted Jericho and Ever trusted Arsen. Arsen also felt good. His energy was happy and light and bright. It was like nothing Ever had ever felt before. And he just wanted to be near it.
Whatever the reason, when Jericho beckoned him to his office for pizza, Ever started to follow without thought, placing a foot on the ground.
“No!”
Even with his headphones on, Arsen’s panicked shout startled him, making him flinch hard enough to almost fall off the stool. His heart hammered against his chest, and he closed his eyes, slamming his fingers over his ears.
Rough palms covered his hands, tugging them away gently, and Arsen’s voice carried over the headphones. “Sorry. Sorry. I don’t mean to scare you. But you can’t walk barefoot. You’ll hurt yourself. Hold on. One moment. Okay?”
Ever opened his eyes but remained frozen, afraid to move, watching as Arsen darted across the shop, disappearing behind the same magical door he had last night, this time returning with black sandals with white stripes across the top.
He kneeled before the stool and slipped them on Ever’s sock-clad feet, then grinned at him. “Okay, there you go.”
Ever looked down at the slightly too big sandals and then at the hand Arsen held out to him once he was on his feet again. He didn’t take it but looked over at Jericho, who stood in the open office door watching the two of them carefully. He stood with the other boy, the loud one who asked too many questions and looked at Ever like he couldn’t be trusted.
Finally, he took Arsen’s hand. The way the tension bled from Arsen’s face made Ever’s insides feel hot and squishy. He wanted Arsen to be who he appeared to be. He wanted to make Arsen happy. Especially if he belonged to him now. If Ever was nice, maybe Arsen would keep him? Then Ever wouldn’t have to learn anyone else’s rules ever again.
Learning Jennika’s rules had cost him a lot. His dignity. His flesh. He could do it one more time for Arsen, but he didn’t know if he could handle it a third time. The not knowing was the worst part. The second-guessing every single thought. It was exhausting. Like…standing in quicksand, afraid every movement might be the one that sank him deeper, trapped him further.
What was it that would make Arsen angry? Would he be angry enough to hit? To kick? To punch? Would he whip him? Withhold food? Sell him to others? Ever could handle anything but that. It was too hard to fake liking it. Not that they cared if he liked it. Mostly they seemed to want him to hate it, hate them.
Ever studied Arsen. He didn’t seem quick to anger. He’d shot Jennika, though—he’d said she deserved it for what she’d done to those little girls. Ever shook his head. He didn’t want to think about that…about those girls. They were so small, so helpless. He’d tried to protect them, but he was rarely allowed out of that room.
Arsen couldn’t be that bad. He felt safe. He felt warm. It made Ever long to be closer to him in a way he’d never even imagined. He didn’t like to be touched, but he’d wanted Arsen to touch him, had wanted to roll around in his scent. He’d slept so deeply in his arms and when Arsen told him to go back to sleep, he’d gotten to bury his face in his pillow that smelled like him.
Ever let Arsen guide him to the sofa in the office. When he handed him a paper plate with a piece of pizza on it, he took it, setting it in his lap. He watched as the loud one and Jericho ate, scarfing down the food like they hadn’t eaten in weeks. He looked down at his plate, chewing on his lower lip. He’d never had pizza before.
It smelled good.
Really good.
But it looked kind of…drippy.
He watched from beneath his lashes as Arsen took a slice and folded it in half, eating most of it in one bite. When he realized they were all watching him, he picked up the pizza, folded it in half and took as big a bite as he could stomach. The flavors exploded on his tongue and he couldn’t help but moan at the taste. When was the last time he’d had something that wasn’t just soup or bread?
He was used to only eating once a day, sometimes not even that much, but never food like this. It was definitely going to give him a stomach ache if he ate the whole piece but he couldn’t stop. When it was gone, he made a sad noise, then blushed when he realized they were smiling at him.
Jericho slapped another slice on his plate. He just stared at it, forlorn, then looked to Arsen, askance.
Arsen tilted his head, his pizza halfway to his mouth. “Are you not hungry, little one?”
He opened his mouth to answer then stopped. He didn’t want to answer wrong. He didn’t want to answer out loud. He hated his voice. He didn’t like the way it sounded when it left his mouth. Jennika said he sounded like a girl. That his voice was too high. Too breathy.
Besides, he didn’t know the right answer. What if he wasn’t supposed to want it. What if he wasn’t supposed to refuse it, either. He wanted to close his eyes and cover his ears and just make it all stop.
“I’ll take it.”
Ever watched as the loud boy’s hand crossed in front of him, grabbing his pizza. Ever didn’t mean to do it, didn’t even remember grabbing his hand, wasn’t aware of what he was doing until he felt his teeth digging into the fleshy part of the boy’s palm just beneath his thumb.
“Ow!” he yelped, pulling his skin from between Ever’s teeth and rubbing the spot. “What the fuck, dude? The little shit bit me.”
When Arsen crossed to him, Ever recoiled. But he just sat beside him and cupped his face. “Are you okay? Did he scare you?”
Levi gaped at them. “Isheokay? What about me? I’m the one who just got bit. I think he broke the skin.
