Arsen stared down at Ever, the ache to touch him coming on so strongly and so quickly he didn’t even have time to fight it. He lightly ran his finger up the bridge of his pert nose, once then twice, then caressed the spot between his perfectly straight brows. His skin was soft, his bunny teeth just a little too big for his mouth, leaving them settled lightly on his full lower lip.
Ever’s eyelids fluttered, then opened, slowly blinking himself awake. Shit. Ever’s hand—trapped between their bodies—curled against Arsen’s bare chest, making him shiver, his cock taking notice of the barely-there touch. He needed to calm down before he scared him.
But his body just wasn’t getting the memo that Ever was friend, not food. Because even with chapped lips and puffy eyes, Ever looked good enough to eat. And for the first time in a long time, Arsen was starving.
Almost like he could read his thoughts, Ever raised his hand and brushed his fingertips over Arsen’s hair that hung in his eyes. He closed his eyes, praying for some modicum of self-control. Maybe if he just didn’t look at him…
Ever’s index finger ran along the bridge of Arsen’s nose, mimicking Arsen’s earlier movements. No. No. This was definitely not better. It was somehow much worse. He needed to get out of bed and put some distance between them before one of them did something they couldn’t take back.
They were strangers. Ever only touched him for comfort, as a way to anchor himself, not because he wanted anything physical. Arsen couldn’t ruin that trust.
“I have to go downstairs to the garage. Can you stay here and rest?” Ever’s face morphed from fear to confusion to something akin to a sulk, which did nothing to strengthen Arsen’s resolve to leave the warmth of his bed. “Don’t give me that look, little one. I’ll be right downstairs. You can come find me when you wake up and then I’ll get you some food.”
Ever’s scowl disappeared immediately, replaced with that same placid look from last night. That one that told Arsen he was either dissociating or masking his true feelings for Arsen’s benefit. Shit. He needed to choose his words carefully. Ever had spent most of his life following orders. He was clearly still trying to do so.
How long had he lived like that? How long had that woman tortured him? The scars on his back and throat indicated months. The children’s book he’d shown Arsen indicated years. Had she been the only one to…own him? The idea of multiple people abusing Ever over the years left Arsen with a rage brewing deep within. It made him want to hurt something, hurt someone. Once more, he wished he could revive that woman and kill her again. She deserved something far worse than a simple bullet in the head.
But none of that would help Ever. And Arsen wasn’t qualified to help this level of trauma. He needed an adult. A real adult. An adultier adult. One who understood taxes and feelings. But he didn’t have one of those handy right now. All he could do was follow Jericho’s advice.
Adapt. Improvise. Overcome.
He gave Ever his brightest smile. “I change my mind. You can look at me however you want. If you’re mad, be mad. If you’re sad, be sad. If you’re happy, be happy. Okay?” He made the okay symbol with his fingers.
Ever studied his face and then his hand, like he wasn’t sure if he was in trouble or not.
“I’ll be right downstairs,” he said again, this time extracting himself from Ever’s limbs, heart tripping as he stared up at Arsen with those big Bambi eyes. “Sleep.”
Ever immediately complied, closing his eyes and rolling onto his belly, burying his face in Arsen’s pillow. Damn it, another order. He vowed to get better. But it was difficult to go against his nature. He spent most of his day herding a bunch of twenty-somethings high on caffeine and short on attention. That required being direct. And loud. And giving concise instructions. The boys were efficient, but they were also absent-minded and stubborn.
Ever inhaled deeply then seemed to relax. Still, Arsen watched until his breathing evened out again. If following Arsen’s order got Ever more sleep, then in this one particular instance, it was okay. Until Arsen found that adult he needed.
Arsen finally forced himself to move, throwing on some clothes and his coveralls before heading downstairs to get the bay doors open on time. People had to work, so Jericho had a drop box for keys. By the time he made it to the shop, there were already four sets in addition to the jobs left over from yesterday. It was clearly going to be a busy day.
He walked to the back of the garage. There used to be a huge sofa and television as well as a gaming console there. Arsen and his friends had spent hours in the back of the shop, hiding from bullies, hiding from their own families. But now, that had all moved next door.
When Jericho had married Atticus, they’d pooled their money to buy the building next to the garage so Jericho’s “strays” had a safe place to sleep at night and Jericho had a place to work where he didn’t have to worry about someone accidentally lopping off a finger or losing a foot to an engine block.
The core group had never changed, but other stray kids ebbed and flowed out of the place depending on necessity. And sadly, in their neighborhood—in every neighborhood, really—there was always a need.
Arsen had considered putting Ever over there last night. He would have been safe. But a bunch of twenty-year-old sometimes killers with a penchant for caffeine, sugar, and gaming marathons wasn’t really the place for Ever. At least, not yet. He needed Arsen.
Well, that was what Arsen told himself.
He popped his headphones in and started working, losing himself in the mundane tasks of oil changes and brake jobs. When he wheeled himself out from under a ten-year-old Chevy, he stopped short, heart pounding. Ever stood there in last night’s clothes, fidgeting with the drawstring on his hoodie, nothing but socks on his feet. He scanned the place rapidly, eyes wide, like he was prepared to run if he had to.
Arsen quickly crossed to him, wiping his hands off on the rag hanging from his pocket. “You’re awake.”
Ever trapped his bottom lip between his teeth then nodded.
Arsen did his best to give him a reassuring smile. “Did you sleep okay?”
Ever shrugged, then nodded again, risking a glance upward like he was worried his answer might upset Arsen.
“Don’t feel like talking?” he asked, trying to keep his voice judgment-free.
Ever shook his head.
“Okay,” Arsen said. “Do you want me to take you back upstairs? You can watch TV?”
