“I know.”
Aiden hadn’t expected Thomas to give in so easily. He didn’t know what to say other than, “Good.”
“We should try to get some sleep. It’s late.”
“Okay,” Aiden said but made no move to release Thomas.
“Are we sleeping here in the closet?” Thomas asked, amused.
Aiden sighed and stepped back, helping Thomas down. “It’s not my fault your bed is so far away.”
“Are you saying you want to put a mattress in the closet?” Thomas asked, helping Aiden right his sweatpants but forgoing his own pajama pants on the floor.
“No,” Aiden said. “Well, maybe. Or we could just put mirrors over the bed.”
“Nothing screams class like a mirrored ceiling,” Thomas said, climbing into bed and rolling onto his side.
Aiden lost his sweatpants then climbed in, curling himself around Thomas. “Fuck class. Don’t tell me you didn’t watch me on my knees for you.”
“I plead the fifth,” he said. “Now, go to sleep.”
“Uh-huh,” Aiden said. “That’s what I thought.”
He buried his face in Thomas’s neck, kissing over his pulse. “Good night.”
Thomas’s hand reached back, curling around Aiden’s bare thigh. “Night.”
Thomas woke to find Aiden lying on his side, head propped on his hand, studying him, expression inscrutable. A shock of warmth bled through Thomas at just the sight of Aiden’s face. Was this what he’d been denying himself for so long? How many times had he imagined a life where he woke up to that face every morning?
When Aiden didn’t acknowledge Thomas, he frowned. How long had he been watching him? What was he thinking about? Was he sleeping with his eyes open? Almost as quickly as the thought came, Aiden reached down and cupped Thomas’s chin, turning him so he could look at him more thoroughly.
Thomas smiled to hide the surge of lust that shot through him. “Should I be concerned about you watching me in my sleep?”
Aiden continued to hold his chin as he leaned down and pressed their lips together before saying, “I’ve heard it’s considered romantic.”
Thomas grinned. “Did you read that inSerial Killer Monthly?”
Aiden snorted. “Quarterly, actually. I can’t afford the monthly subscription on a PI’s earnings.”
It was a joke. Thomas knew—for obvious reasons—that Aiden was worth a fortune. He lived like a hermit in the middle of the woods in a cabin he’d built himself. He drove a Jeep that was over ten years old. Every dime Thomas had paid him over the years had gone into a separate account that Aiden used to donate to people who needed it and to fund his somewhat disturbing hobby of building medieval torture devices.
This knowledge didn’t stop Thomas from saying, “You know I’d give you anything, right?”
Aiden’s smile fell, his expression becoming guarded. “Except you.”
Thomas had walked right into that one. Aiden was right. All he’d ever asked of Thomas was this…was them. And he’d wasted years torturing himself. Torturing them both, really. But Thomas had been so committed to spending his life alone, to paying for his sins, that it now seemed insane to just change his mind. Wouldn’t that be the shittier thing to do? Did he even deserve Aiden after dragging him over broken glass all these years?
Thomas didn’t know how or why, but in the last seventy-two hours or so, this thing, this one event in his life that had seemed like a mortal sin, now seemed…insignificant. Maybe it was knowing his children didn’t hate him. Maybe it was knowing Aiden was still there after everything. But the fear Thomas had spent years choking on had evaporated.
But that was worse somehow. Knowing he’d denied himself and Aiden a lifetime together felt like a far worse sin now. And it had happened in the blink of an eye. He didn’t deserve Aiden’s love. He didn’t deserve Aiden’s forgiveness. It didn’t matter, though. Because Aiden had told him last night he wasn’t leaving and Thomas had acknowledged it as fact.
Somehow, Thomas had been dragged kicking and screaming to the finish line and he was still getting to walk away with the only prize he’d ever wanted. It hardly seemed fair. Thomas shouldn’t still win.
He pulled himself from his thoughts to see Aiden looking morose. Aiden hadn’t posed his last response as a question, but looking at him now, Thomas knew it was. Aiden was practically holding his breath waiting to see if Thomas would disappoint him for the millionth time.
Thomas was waiting, too. Was he a coward like Aiden said? Or was he as brave as his sons believed him to be? Was being with Aiden selfish? Had Thomas earned Aiden?No. His heart slammed against his ribs. Every fiber of his being was telling him to run away…again. But he couldn’t. He wouldn’t.
“You have me, Aiden. Even when I’m not right next to you…you have me. There’s only ever been you.”
