Thomas swallowed the lump of sand in his throat, not sure whether he should tell him that it wasn’t true, that he was wrong, even though he was a hundred percent right. He had no defense. None. And they both knew it. This was the same conversation they always had. Over and over again. Caught in an endless loop like a residual haunting. Two souls destined to just keep reenacting the same tragedy again and again. And the worst part was…it didn’t even matter.
None of it mattered.
Aiden’s anger was a vacuum, sucking the air from Thomas’s lungs and swallowing the words desperate to come out. It took every ounce of willpower he contained to not fight back. This was why he tried to keep some distance between them.
But today, there was no escape. They were trapped together on this mountain. At least, for now. “Aiden…” he managed, trailing off when he realized he had nothing more to say.
Aiden was across the room and in his space before Thomas could even register the movement, looming over him. “What?What? You just keep saying my name…Aiden…Aiden…what? Aidenwhat? Fucking say it, you fucking coward. What do you want to say? You’re sorry? You wish things could be different? What? For fuck’s sake just fucking say it and put me out of my misery.”
Aiden was close enough that each coffee-laced breath puffed against Thomas’s cheek. He opened his mouth and closed it again. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. His hands shook with the effort it took not to reach for him, to pull him in, to give in to the longing that was killing him.
He was right there. Right fucking there. Everything he’d ever wanted and the one thing he could never have and it was so goddamn sad. No, it was infuriating. Maddening. Thomas had spent a lifetime learning how to deny himself—to give himself just enough, but never everything. It was about self-control. Willpower. Mind over matter.
“Don’t do this,” he whispered, half-praying he would, that he’d have the courage Thomas never did.
Aiden moved until their bodies were pressed against each other, his lips so close that all Thomas had to do was turn his head just the tiniest bit and they’d be touching his.
“Do what?” Aiden said, his voice raw. “Tell the truth? Yeah, that would be fucking tragic, wouldn’t it?”
Thomas took a deep breath, and Aiden’s scent flooded his nostrils, imploding that tiny last remnant of self-control he had left. He couldn’t stop himself. He couldn’t. It was just the barest movement, hardly noticeable if it didn’t bring their lips together in a kiss that did nothing to quell the fucking desperation raging through him.
Thomas regretted the decision the moment they connected, tried to course correct, but it was too late. Aiden’s arms were around him, dragging him tightly against him, smashing their mouths together in a brutal kiss designed to punish.
Thomas should have resisted, should have pulled away, but when Aiden’s tongue prodded against his lips, he yielded. God fucking help him, he yielded. Aiden grunted his approval, walking Thomas backwards until he met the counter, his hands clenching Thomas’s ass as he plundered his mouth mercilessly.
Thomas’s head was swimming with nothing but Aiden. His taste, his scent, the feel of his roaming hands and his wide-legged stance that put them eye to eye all made it so easy to just keep letting their mouths slide against each other again and again.
Thomas lifted his hands to push him away, but instead, he gripped his shirt, stepping in-between Aiden’s thighs until their hips were flush together and Thomas could feel his hard length pressing against the zipper of his jeans. Fuck.
Thomas groaned, unable to stop himself from grinding against Aiden, letting him feel he wasn’t the only one turned on.
Aiden made a sound that was close to a snarl, then shoved away from Thomas so fast he felt dizzy. “Un-fucking-believable.”
Thomas stood blinking, his brain and body fighting to catch up with each other. “I’m sor—”
Aiden cocked his head, livid. “Fucking say I’m sorry. I dare you. I will punch you in the face. I swear to God. Try me.”
Thomas snapped his mouth shut, giving a stilted nod before finally saying, “Yeah. Okay.”
Aiden paced the kitchen, pulling the elastic from his hair only to pull the upper half back up and secure it in a knot on the top of his head once more, like some kind of nervous tic. “You need to tell me what happened with your family before I fucking learn it from someone else. I’m tired of the secrets and the lies.”
Thomas shook his head, his pulse jack-hammering against his throat once more. “You said you would give me time.”
Aiden stopped to glare at him. “Yeah, well, I guess that makes us both liars,” he said before beginning to pace once more.
“Aiden…”
“I’m starting to hate the sound of my own fucking name,Thomas,” he said, spitting his full name at him like a curse.
Thomas was trapped. For the first time in as long as he could remember, he didn’t know how to fix this. He didn’t have a plan. He was just winging it. He didn’t wing things. That wasn’t who he was. He was a general. He was strategic. Precise. Calculating. Formulate a strategy. Send his soldiers to execute the plan. Victory. Every time.
But he was out of his element with Aiden. EspeciallythisAiden. So different from the boy he’d met all those years ago. He was the monster Thomas created. He supposed they all were, but it was doubly true for Aiden. Thomas had used him as a crutch for far too long—had leaned on him until he had warped him into the man before him now.
“I am not trying to piss you off,” Thomas started, trying to figure out how this had gone so far off the rails so quickly. “I want to tell you.”
“Liar.”
Thomas shook his head helplessly. “Okay, fine. Iwantto want to tell you.”
