“Nobody. What do you want?”
Noah had never been to Atticus’s office, yet he was givinghima look like Atticus was the one acting out of character. “You tell me. Thomas said you needed somebody to come pick up a bunch of documents because he needs them tonight but you didn’t have time to drive up to the house.”
“I meant a courier service, not you.”
Noah plopped down in the chair opposite him, sprawling like it was his home and not Atticus’s office. “Wow, your hospitality skills suck, bro. Seriously, what’s your damage? You’re even more butt-clenched than usual.”
He opened his mouth to tell him to fuck off but heard himself say, “What does fear feel like?”
Noah blinked at him. “What?”
“It’s a valid question,” Atticus muttered.
“You good, bro?”
Atticus was the opposite of good. “My chest feels tight, and my mouth is dry, and I can’t tell if I’m experiencing fear or anxiety or having a fucking heart attack.”
“Yeah, you do look kind of like a corpse. Doesn’t a heart attack make you sweat and, like, make you have pain in your left arm? You’re a doctor, shouldn’t you know if you’re having a heart attack?”
“I just don’t understand what’s happening to me…”
“Well, that makes two of us. Did something happen before you started to feel this way? Did somebody give you bad news? Did somebody, like, try to scare you?” Noah asked.
Well, he certainly couldn’t tell Noah about Jericho. He’d tell Adam and Adam would hold a press conference about it. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
Noah narrowed his eyes, studying Atticus intently. “Wait…is this about a…girl?”
The hesitation before Noah said girl made his eye muscle twitch. Was he so obvious? “No.”
A slow smile formed on Noah’s face as he leaned forward. “Is this about a guy? Have you finally kicked open the closet door? Do you—do you have a boyfriend?”
“No!” he snapped, closing his eyes as his blatant overreaction called him a liar. “No,” he said again, quieter.
Noah rolled his eyes. “Okay, so obviously there’s a person who’s got you tied up in knots. Who are they?”
Atticus wanted to talk to somebody but also wanted nobody to know that he’d so easily been ensnared by a total stranger. “You can’t tell anybody.”
Noah’s tongue darted out to wet his lower lip, and he nodded. “Okay. What did you do?”
Atticus meant to give the barest of details but, instead, word-vomited the whole story to a stunned Noah.
When he finished, Noah said, “Twice? You’ve seen him twice and both times you—” He made the fingers of one hand into a circle before pretending to violate it with a finger on the other hand.
“You don’t have to be crude.”
Noah snorted. “Save the righteous indignation, bro. I’m not the one blowing strangers in my office.”
Atticus should have just kept his mouth shut. “It was just a temporary insanity thing. I think.”
“But why? He sought you out. He clearly wanted to see you again. Why not just be friends with benefits? Why are you so pressed about this?”
Atticus scowled harder. “One, I’m not gay. Two, we’re not friends. Three, every time I see this guy, I lose all sense of self control.”And self-respect,he added silently.
“Have you never just wanted to get naked with somebody? Like you’ve never just been…like, horny for a guy you met at a bar or wherever somebody like you goes and does non-work related things?” Atticus shook his head. “Aren’t you almost forty?”
Atticus gave him a dead stare. “You’re not being helpful.”
Noah sighed. “Listen, it sounds like you just really have chemistry with this guy. What’s the harm in seeing where it goes? It’s not like he’s going to get pregnant.” His gaze raked over Atticus. “Or get you pregnant.”
