Soren shook his head. “Oh, Doc. There’s a whole goddamn psychiatric diagnosis in there. Let’s talk.”
“I need another shower.”
Soren grinned. “I’ll join you.”
Tobias shook his head. “I didn’t invite you.”
“Good thing I wasn’t waiting for one.”
Tobias opened his mouth, but Soren closed the distance between them, cupping Tobias’s face and forcing eye contact in a way he found distracting. “We could play this game all day, Doc. But, to save time, let’s just shower together. If you want me to keep my hands to myself, I will.”
That was the problem, wasn’t it? Tobias didn’t want him to keep his hands to himself. He wanted Soren’s hands all over him, had spent the last however many minutes working up a lather like a racehorse just tryingnotto think about Soren’s mouth on his cock or the hard length of him pushing inside Tobias’s ass, forcing his body to accommodate him, to make room for him in every possible way.
Tobias didn’t think like that, had made peace with the notion that he wasn’t made that way and didn’t have the same urges and impulses for sex most people did. But, somehow, this man chipped away at his walls, changing who he was or, at least, who he knew himself to be. Part of him wanted to know who he was without the chains, without the restraints he’d inflicted upon himself at a very young age, but the other part of him feared what that meant for the world at large.
“Let’s just get this out of the way,” Tobias snapped.
Soren leaned in, laughing even as he pressed their mouths together. “Keep talking like that, Toby, and I’m going to think you like me or something.”
In the shower, Soren was true to his word. But it didn’t matter. He was touching Tobias’s soap, his shampoo. They were breathing the same heated air, sliding against each other as they swapped time beneath the scalding water of the single showerhead. Each time Soren brushed against him, it was torture, driving him a little closer to the edge of his sanity. What was worse, he knew Soren was well aware of exactly what he was doing to him.
Tobias stiffened when Soren plastered himself to his back. Soren pretended not to notice, taking the body wash from him and using it to soap up Tobias’s torso, his chest, before sliding down to his hips, taking his time tracing the lines of his muscled torso. Tobias felt himself leaning against him, tilting his head to allow him to place open-mouthed kisses along his throat. He bit back a moan when Soren’s hand slipped between his legs, soaping his balls, tugging in a way that shot fire along his spine and warmed his insides.
“What’s the matter, Doc?” Soren asked, biting his earlobe, his hand closing around Tobias’s straining erection. “You need some help with this?”
Tobias wanted to sayno, tell him to fuck off, and definitely would have a week ago. But he wasn’t the same person he’d been a week ago. Instead, he turned in Soren’s arms, kissing him, his hands catching on his squeaky clean skin as he shoved him back against the tile, enjoying the hiss of shock that fell from the other man’s lips when his back met the cold. He liked threading his fingers through the light brown hair on Soren’s chest, then lower along the planes of his abdomen, lower still, until he could feel the heavy length of Soren’s cock in his hand. He was big by any measure, but Tobias liked the feel of him, liked the way the skin moved as he stroked him, the way Soren groaned into his mouth like he couldn’t help himself.
Tobias tore his mouth away, sinking to the floor and not even caring when the tile grout bit into his knees. He wanted to taste Soren the way Soren had tasted him earlier in front of the mirror. Even if he had no idea what he was doing. He tried to emulate what Soren had done, forcing his cock to the back of his throat, but found himself gagging. He was too big and Tobias was too inexperienced. He contented himself with sucking the head of Soren’s cock, teasing at his foreskin, tugging and sucking on it in a way that made Soren’s hips spasm up from the tile and grip Tobias’s wet hair in both hands. So, he did more of that until it didn’t matter anymore, until Soren was fucking into Tobias’s mouth, using him in a way that made him throb.
Tobias took his own cock in hand, jerking himself in time with Soren’s thrusts, enjoying the feel of him in his mouth and the muscles contracting beneath Tobias’s palm as he used him to find his release.
“Oh, fuck. I’m close.” Soren groaned, his cock all but slipping from Tobias’s lips as he pulled back.
Tobias gripped Soren’s hip, pulling him back in, suddenly desperate to taste him, to feel him flooding his mouth, just as he’d done earlier. Soren swore once more, then he was bursting onto Tobias’s tongue, down his throat, forcing him to swallow or choke. Tobias’s own orgasm struck almost from nowhere, pulled from him by the taste of Soren on his tongue. He spilled over his fist, still sucking on Soren’s spent cock until he pulled free with a shiver. Tobias let Soren tug him to his feet.
“Not bad for a virgin, Doc,” Soren drawled with a small smile.
Tobias didn’t acknowledge the comment, unsure if he was sincere or making fun of him. He turned off the water, opening the shower door and throwing a towel in Soren’s direction before grabbing one for himself. He moved to the dresser to grab some clothing but, before he could, Soren was there. “Uh-uh. Let’s talk.”
“Why can’t we talk clothed?”
Soren studied his face in a manner Tobias wasn’t sure he liked. “I think, in your case, clothing is as close to a physical wall as you can get. I want the real you. Besides, I like looking at you naked. Come on.”
Tobias allowed himself to be pulled back to bed, immediately turning away from Soren, annoyed at his responding chuckle. Tobias knew he was being childish, but he felt like a child, confused and fragile and out of sorts, being sent to bed. But he didn’t protest when Soren force-cuddled him, wrapping his arms around Tobias’s unyielding body and pulling him back against the warmth of his chest, his ass tucked against Soren’s pelvis. Tobias hated it. No, he hated how much he didn’t hate it.
“Have you really never had sex?” Soren asked finally.
Tobias shrugged stiffly. “Like I said, not penetrative sex. I’ve kissed a few people, gotten a couple of awkward blow jobs. Tried to give one or two in return. It…didn’t work out.”
Soren gave that infuriating chuckle, but, this time, it was soft, with his nose rubbing against the back of Tobias’s neck, ruffling his still damp hair. “Why not?”
Frustration burned within him. How did he explain something he didn’t understand himself? “Because sex requires something I just don’t possess. Or, at least, I thought I didn’t. Now, I don’t know. I don't know anything,” Tobias muttered, trying not to notice Soren’s arm beneath his pillow or the gentle way his hand stroked Tobias from his hip to his belly. Not once in his thirty-three years had he ever been this close to another person. Not ever. It was maddening.
“You think too much, Toby. Doesn’t your brain get tired?”
God, yes.“What’s the alternative?”
Soren’s fingers began to thread through the dark hair at Tobias’s belly. “You tell me?”
