Jackson ran his fingers through Day’s hair. “No. Of course not. You didn’t do anything wrong. Just because some psycho has an imaginary relationship with you, it doesn’t mean you did anything to provoke it. It’s no different than a stalker imagining a relationship with a celebrity.”
Day pushed his head up into Jackson’s caress, not satisfied with his answer. “Celebrities don’t tweet about needing somebody to use their hole. They don’t call their clients Daddy. I put myself out there. I let them think they stood a chance.”
Jackson shook his head. “You’re offering clients a fantasy, an escape. No sane person out there thinks that the person on these chat services is actually offering up their bodies. Not unless explicitly stated.”
Day’s stomach twisted. “Except, I did explicitly state it. I offered up my virginity to the highest bidder, knowing full well nobody would ever really be able to meet my price. I knew there was nobody on that site I would be willing to have sex with, on or off camera. I just wanted to make enough money to get out of LA. I hate it here.”
“You do?” Jackson asked. “You never told me you wanted to leave LA.”
Day shrugged. “Why would I? I never expected us to be…whatever this is. I never expected to meet somebody who gave a shit where I lived or what I did for a living. I know what I am to people. A body to use. A hole to fill. They don’t care about my day or if I eat. They don’t care if I can’t pay my rent or if I need to go to the doctor. And that was fine. Itisfine. It was just an exchange. They gave me money, and I gave them my time. I gave them the fantasy. It was a way to keep a roof over my head or food in my stomach without having to trick on the street. I never anticipated you.”
Jackson dragged his blunt nails across Day’s scalp. “If it makes you feel better, I never anticipated you, either. And you are so much more than just a hole to fill or a body to use. I wish you could see you the way I do.”
Tears pricked behind Day’s eyes at Jackson’s words, but he didn’t press. He wasn’t sure if it made him feel better or worse that Jackson saw him as something more. His words kicked up a tornado in his head, a whirlwind of emotions making him feel like he might just fly apart into a million pieces.
He scooted closer, taking Jackson’s soft cock into his mouth, not actively trying to get him hard again but just needing to be closer, needing Jackson inside him somehow. Day had done this to Jackson once before, after he’d given him a blowjob on the balcony. Just like then, Jackson didn’t protest, just kept petting his hands through Day’s hair.
Day wanted nothing more than to believe in Jackson’s notion that there was a happily ever after for them, but Day had twenty-two years of anecdotal evidence that said otherwise. Day didn’t think people like him got to live out their happily ever afters. Maybe he was working off bad karma. Maybe he’d just lost some universal lottery system before he was born. Either way, he didn’t know how to wrap his head around what a life with Jackson would even look like. If Day wasn’t camming, what would he do? Flip burgers? He couldn’t even fill out the application without help.
Jackson was worth millions, but Day didn’t want to live off of him. He didn’t want to feel like he was just some trophy husband.Husband.The thought made Day’s stomach slosh. Is that what Jackson saw for them? A house with a white picket fence and a mess of kids, like his sisters? Would Day be expected to stay at home with their kids? They’d have to hire tutors. Day couldn’t even help them with the most basic of homework assignments.
Their kids… Jesus. Day was so far down the rabbit hole, he could no longer see daylight.
Jackson shifted his hips slightly. He was hard again just from being in Day’s mouth. He never second guessed this. They were so good at this. Sex came as easily as breathing; their bodies fit together like puzzle pieces. Jackson was the most perfect Daddy, and there wasn’t anything Day wouldn’t do to be his good boy. He teased his tongue around the head of Jackson’s thick cock, sucking him leisurely as his hand massaged his balls.
Fingers threaded through Day’s hair, and then Jackson was dragging him upwards, shifting on the sofa so that he spooned Day. His head rested on Jackson’s bicep, Jackson’s arms locked around Day’s body, like he was afraid Day might run. When Jackson pushed his knee between Day’s thighs, he sighed, moaning when Jackson’s hard cock slipped between Day’s cheeks, catching on his slick and leaking hole. Jackson slid inside Day in one smooth contraction of his hips, forcing a whimper from Day.
“You okay, baby?” Jackson asked, the concern in his voice tearing Day up inside.
“Yeah, Daddy,” Day managed, voice thick.
Day wasn’t okay. He was overwhelmed. Jackson was wrapped around him, buried within him, lips dragging open mouth kisses along his shoulder, his throat, running his tongue along the shell of his ear. It was almost lazy in comparison to their earlier session where Day had rode Jackson hard and fast, begging him to breed his hole, to choke him.
This time, Jackson held Day’s arms hostage against his body as he just rolled his hips, working himself into Day, slow and deep. “Do you have any idea how fucking beautiful you are? How happy I am that you were just dropped into my life?”
Day couldn’t speak past the sudden lump in his throat. He hadn’t signed on for this. He didn’t know what to say, so he just tilted his head back and captured Jackson’s lips in a kiss that he hoped somehow conveyed to Jackson that he heard him, even if he couldn’t bring himself to speak.
The kiss didn’t stop Jackson, though. He kept murmuring words of praise against his ear as he used Day’s body, jerking him in time with every movement. “You’re so sweet, so open. I love waking up next to you every day. I love your big heart and the way you tell off mean old ladies in grocery stores and even the way you yell at my clients to protect me. You’re so sexy and so confident in your sexuality. It’s so hot. I love that you wear makeup and soft lacy things, and I love when you wear your glasses and your holey sweatpants, too.”
“Jackson,” Day managed, tears streaming down his face. If Jackson saw it in the dim light of the living room, he was kind enough not to say anything.
“It’s true. I’m never going to stop telling you the truth. You might not see it, but I do. You’re smart and funny and fierce, and I need you in my life, Day, just as you are. I’ll do whatever is necessary to protect you and keep you forever. I mean it.” Jackson suddenly pulled free of Day’s body. “Roll over. I want to look at you.”
Day hesitated, wiping at his cheeks before doing as Jackson asked. He caught Day’s leg with his arm before slipping back inside. Jackson’s tempo quickened, and the slow rolls of his hips became hard thrusts as he captured Day’s mouth, his tongue moving in time with his cock.
When the kiss ended, Day stayed as he was, their lips almost touching, both of them panting hard, Day thrusting down each time Jackson drove upwards until each motion caused Day to moan Jackson’s name, begging him for more, even though there was really nothing more he needed from him. It was all just too much. He’d never imagined this level of intimacy with another human being. He’d never thought there’d ever be a single soul who looked at him and saw anything worth looking at.
Day held Jackson’s face in his hands, their foreheads pressed together, lips pressed together, his cock trapped between their bodies, rubbing against their sweat-slicked bellies, as warmth began to pool low in his belly. “I’m close, Jackson.”
Jackson growled at the sound of his name on Day’s lips. “You can come, baby. I wanna feel it. Come for me.”
Day moaned low and long as his second orgasm hit him, his whole body shivering as he came between them. Day dropped his head to rest on Jackson’s arm, too blissed out to help Jackson find his pleasure. But Jackson didn’t need help. He gripped Day’s hips, driving his cock deep three more times, before he was shouting, his hips grinding against Day, emptying himself inside for the second time in as many hours in a way that made him feel claimed...even loved.
Neither of them made any attempt to move; Jackson stayed buried in Day, even soft. Day pressed kisses into Jackson’s chest, his eyes drifting shut as sleep began to overtake him. Jackson cuddled Day close, and even though they were sweaty and sticky and covered with drying cum, Day wanted to stay just as he was, safe in Jackson’s arms.
“I know you don’t believe me, Day, but I love you just as you are.”
Jackson’s words were so quiet, Day almost thought he imagined them. He burrowed closer. “I don’t know how to trust that, not after two weeks. Maybe not even after two years. You just have to give me time, Jackson. If you love me like you say you do, you’ll give me time to see that you can love me no matter how bad I get.”
