Robby dropped his head, looking at Calder through long, dark lashes. “I’m scared too. Of everything. But I’m less scared when I’m with you.”
Calder leaned his forehead against Robby’s. “I’m less scared with you too, angel.”
They just sat there for a long while, not speaking, just holding each other. When Cas came and sprung up onto the bed, Robby finally said, “I should probably call Rebecca, huh?”
“Yeah, that would probably be a good idea. Invite her over here to talk. Tell her to watch her six.”
Robby frowned. “What?”
Calder chuckled. “Her back. Tell her to watch her back and make sure she’s not followed.”
“Yeah, okay.”
“I’m going to go make breakfast. I’ll make enough for all of us.”
He stood, dumping Robby on the bed before leaning down and giving him a quick almost chaste kiss on the mouth. In the kitchen, he worked on autopilot, preparing breakfast while his brain tried to sort through a million complicated emotions. He mourned Megan. He did. He mourned for the sister he never got to have and the life she never got to live. The life they both could have had with parents who were both checked in and madly in love. He ached for the husband Megan never met and the kids they might have had. It wasn’t one single man who had deprived Calder’s family of the life they should’ve had, but one man’s name always came back again and again. Elizer. That fucking monster had an entire network of broken people constantly recruiting young girls and boys, feeding them drugs and lies and pain to service a network of other soulless monsters. Monsters that couldn’t be beaten, couldn’t be satiated, stealing the innocence from victim after victim until they were just shells of people or until they were dead.
Calder flinched as a hand touched his shoulder, rounding on Robby before stopping abruptly. “Sorry, angel. I was just deep in thought.”
“Thought about what?” Robby asked, hopping up onto the counter beside Calder, looking at him with enough empathy to make his throat tight.
“Megan. All the others just like her.”
Robby stole a grape off the counter. “Like Jennifer?”
Calder nodded, moving to stand between Robby’s knees, dropping his head to Robby’s chest. He wrapped his arms around Calder.
“Go get her.”
Calder jerked his head up. “What?”
“Jennifer. You can’t help the others right this second, but you can go get Jennifer’s ashes. You can get her, and we’ll find some place really beautiful to put her. Okay?”
“I don’t know, angel. There’s too much going on here right now.”
Robby gently shook Calder’s shoulders. “No. Stop procrastinating. Go get her today. She doesn’t deserve to spend her afterlife in a cardboard box. That’s not fair. You keep putting it off, but you’ll feel better once she’s here, with us.”
“I can’t leave you here alone.”
“Why? The man who came after me is dead. Are you never going to leave me alone for the rest of our lives? That’s going to get awkward, real quick. I’m here in an actual safehouse. I’m sure this place has every bell and whistle. There’s really no safer place than here. Besides, I’ll have Rebecca to keep me company.”
Calder sighed. He really did owe it to Jennifer to go get her, but he hated the idea of leaving Robby alone. Maybe he could ask Linc to just have one of the probie agents just do a driveby every hour or so. The funeral home was an hour outside of LA. He could be back in less than three hours.
Calder lifted his head, pressing his lips to Robby’s. “Alright, angel. I’ll go get Jennifer. But if anything—and I mean anything—happens, you call my cell phone immediately and I’ll send help.”
Robby nodded. “Yeah, okay.”
“Promise me,” Calder insisted. “I need to hear you say it.”
“Okay, yeah, I promise. I will call you if the sky is falling.”
Calder nodded. Robby was right. He couldn’t spend every minute with him forever no matter how much the idea appealed to him, but there was just this feeling Calder couldn’t shake. He couldn’t quite put a finger on it but it made him want to keep a death grip on Robby.
Rebecca arrived about an hour after Robby called. Breakfast was a mix of rapid-fire bursts of meaningless chatting, followed by awkward bouts of silence. Robby didn’t know what to say to a sister he’d barely known even though they’d spent years living in a small cabin where they practically slept on top of each other. Part of him still wasn’t sure he could trust Rebecca. He didn’t think she was out to hurt him, but he wasn’t comfortable sharing too many private things with her either.
Calder was uneasy also, but Robby thought it had more to do with having to leave Robby behind to pick up Jennifer’s remains than it did with being uncomfortable in Rebecca’s presence. Calder always seemed at home no matter who surrounded him, especially women. Robby made a face at the thought before trying to shake it away. Calder had chosen him, had said he loved him, wanted children with him. He couldn’t hold Calder’s past over his head if they were going to have a life together. Robby’s heart stuttered in his chest as the magnitude of the idea settled under his ribcage. Calder wanted a life together…with Robby. Holy shit.
He covered his mouth with his hand to cover his stupid grin but Calder caught him. His brows knitted together as he gave Robby a half smile. “What’s on your mind, angel?”
