Calder stood and walked back to the main part of the office where Robby was hugging his sister goodbye. When he saw Calder, he gave him a smile, but it died at whatever expression he saw on Calder’s face.
“Hey, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” Robby whispered as the elevator doors closed on his sister.
“Can we just go home, angel?”
Robby nodded, his brows drawing together as he took Calder’s hand. “Yeah, we can go anywhere you want.”
Robby held his tongue the whole way back to the safehouse. It wasn’t that he was afraid to speak but more that he didn’t want to give Calder a reason to have to answer. Whatever Webster had told him had shaken him badly. His white-knuckled grip on the steering wheel and the way the muscle in his jaw ticked told Robby that Calder was barely keeping it together.
Once they returned to their temporary home, Calder remained quiet. Robby made them both sandwiches, but Calder fed most of his to Cas then disappeared into the dining room. Cas followed along behind him and Robby did too, though it seemed pathetic and weird to just follow Calder around. He worried his bottom lip between his teeth as he watched Calder move about, pulling paints from plastic drawers and tossing them onto the scarred wooden block table.
Should he leave? Did Calder want to paint alone? He had no idea what the protocol was for something like this. While Robby didn’t know exactly what Webster had said, there was only one type of news that could impact a person so hard. Megan was dead. It seemed crazy that Calder would hold out hope she’d somehow survived, but Robby knew, deep down, that some part of him had needed to believe she was still out there somewhere, no matter how impossible it seemed.
Robby ached for him.
Cas jumped up onto the table like his legs were made of springs. Calder gave him a small pat on the head, moving the oils and such out of the way so the dog could curl up and watch. Robby wanted to watch too. Calder pulled a fresh canvas from underneath the table and set it on the easel, then he turned and walked directly to where Robby lurked in the corner. “I can—”
Calder gripped the hem of Robby’s shirt, tugging it up until it bunched under his arms and he was left with no choice but to lift them. He had no idea what Calder was trying to do, but he was already half hard from the near feral look on Calder’s face. Robby stared at Calder quizzically as he pulled him to the stool catty-corner to the easel and had him sit-stand against it. He shoved his hands in Robby’s hair, deliberately undoing the little styling Robby had managed that morning. He was afraid to speak. He didn’t want to interrupt the strange, almost electric tension in the air.
He bit his bottom lip as he tried to understand what was happening. Calder cupped his face, tugging his lip free, before slanting his mouth over Robby’s in a bruising kiss that left Robby tenting his joggers and wanting much more than whatever this was. But Calder seemed satisfied with what he’d accomplished. He walked to the canvas, picked up his brush, and started to make broad sweeping strokes with an umber paint. Every few moments, Calder would flick his gaze to Robby and then back to the painting. That’s when Robby realized…Calder was painting him.
Robby did his best to hold still, but it was hard when Calder was standing there with half his hair pulled up and off his perfect face and his fingers were covered in paint and each flick of the brush made the muscles in his arms and back flex. Robby loved watching Calder, loved being able to actually see Calder’s vision materialize. The way he squinted at the canvas, the boldness and surety of his brushstrokes. It was fascinating. It was sexy. Robby stifled a groan. It was ridiculous that he was this turned on just from this, especially when he knew that Calder was painting to escape from his pain, to turn his focus away from Megan and whatever he’d learned.
Random curves and lines began to take on his likeness, first as an abstract and then as a much more beautiful version of himself. Not just beautiful but debauched, with a major case of bedhead and kiss-bitten lips and a look in his eye that made him feel exposed, like anybody who looked at that painting would know exactly how Robby felt about Calder. Is that really how Calder saw him? It didn’t make any sense. Robby’s self esteem wasn’t so low that he thought he was ugly. He was just wholly…unremarkable.
Robby suddenly felt like he was choking. He cleared his throat. “I-I’ll be right back. I have to…do something.”
He scurried away from Calder like he was some scared little mouse, knowing deep down he was a fraud. Calder looked at him but maybe only saw Robby the way he wanted to. He couldn’t see what a huge mess Robby truly was inside where it mattered. He didn’t want to make this about him and his issues, not when Calder was obviously hurting. All he could do was just find a place to hide until the feeling passed.
He walked to the bathroom and turned on the cold water, splashing it across his face. What was wrong with him? Wasn’t it a good thing if the person you loved thought of you as more than you actually were? Wasn’t that the best possible outcome? Robby opened his eyes to see Calder standing in the doorway, something in his hand.
Robby turned. “I didn’t mean to run off. I hope I didn’t ruin—”
Suddenly, Calder’s mouth was on his, the weight of his body shoving Robby into the counter with a force that might have hurt if Robby’s brain hadn’t fallen offline at Calder’s first touch. Robby had no idea what was happening, but Calder was kissing him like they might never see each other again. His hands were rough and bruising, and he was pushing Robby’s clothing down and out of the way. Calder spun him around as he dropped to his knees, spreading Robby open. He cried out in surprise as Calder speared his tongue into his hole.
Robby gripped the counter until his fingers ached. He couldn’t think; he couldn’t even fucking breathe. Calder’s tongue felt so good that all his brain could manage was now and yes and please and more, more, more.
Robby’s cock had been hard almost since Calder had kissed him in the dining room, but now, he was aching, his throbbing cock trapped against the counter. Calder buried his face in Robby’s heat, fucking him with his tongue. He prayed his knees wouldn’t buckle as Calder did things to Robby’s body that made his eyes water.
Calder’s hand snaked up onto the counter, snagging whatever it was he’d had in his hand when he’d first entered the bathroom. Robby’s whine of frustration turned into a low moan as Calder’s tongue disappeared and was replaced by two slick fingers. There was no finesse, no gentleness. He worked his fingers in and out of Robby’s hole with purpose, and the thought of Calder’s carelessness, his need to just get past this part so he could get inside Robby left him feeling overwhelmed in the best possible way.
Calder stood as he pulled his fingers free, tearing at his jeans to free his erection. Robby canted his hips backward without thought, suddenly desperate to feel the familiar ache of Calder’s thick cock inside him. He hissed as Calder pushed his way inside, Robby’s insides rearranging themselves to allow Calder’s entrance. Once he was buried to the hilt, he gripped Robby’s hips, his beard scraping Robby’s cheek as he whispered, “Tell me you’re okay.”
It wasn’t said like a question but Robby answered it anyway. “I’m so beyond okay. Fuck me. Please.”
Calder made a noise that Robby felt all the way down to his toes, this feral snarl that was sexy as fuck and dangerous as hell but still made Robby feel like there was nowhere safer than there with Calder. He still wasn’t ready to be gentle. He fucked Robby hard and fast, each stroke driving him up onto his toes, his eyes rolling back as Calder somehow managed to hit that magical spot that had sparks shooting behind his eyelids. When he finally managed to open his eyes, his mouth fell open.
The picture they made was lurid but so incredibly hot. Calder fucked him like he was on a mission, like he couldn’t keep his hands off Robby, like he needed to claim him, own him, make him submit. Calder’s fist buried in Robby’s hair, bending him back to capture his mouth in a sloppy kiss as he pounded into him even harder.
Robby wasn’t forming words but he couldn’t keep silent. Every thrust dragged a cry or a moan or just a breathless panting ‘uh uh’ that felt ripped from his toes. When Calder’s hand finally closed around Robby’s aching neglected cock, he sobbed in relief. It hadn’t even occurred to him to try to take care of himself. For once, he was there for Calder’s pleasure. This was the one thing he could give him after Calder had given him everything, had been there for him, had taken care of him without question since day one.
He leaned back, trusting Calder to keep him on his feet, his lids at half mast as Calder jerked him in time with his thrusts, the dry friction just this side of painful. It didn’t take long for Robby to feel that familiar sensation, that spark of heat at the base of his spine, his balls drawing up tight to his body. “I’m gonna come. I-I—”
Robby’s whole body seized as his orgasm slammed into him, Calder catching the cum in his hand and using it to ring every last bit of pleasure from Robby until he cried out at the sudden sensitivity. Calder’s arms slid under Robby’s, his hands catching Robby’s shoulders as he fucked into him again and again until Robby wasn’t sure he could take anymore. Calder gave one last thrust, his hips stuttering as his teeth sank into Robby’s shoulder and he made an animalistic sound.
Calder leaned back against the wall, bringing Robby with him. They both stood panting, sucking much needed air back into their lungs. They were both covered in cum and sweat and even bits of oil paint. After a few minutes, Calder peppered kisses along Robby’s temple to his ear. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. That was too much. You’re… I should have been more careful with you.”
“Stop apologizing. I’m not made of glass. I liked it. I still can’t believe somebody like you would ever even look at somebody like me.”
