Robby froze. What did he have in mind? He hadn’t gotten that far.
Suddenly, Charlie’s words reverberated through his head.Suck a dick for the greater good. Robby gently shoved Calder back just enough to drop to his knees, his hands reaching for the band on Calder’s underwear. Could he feel Robby’s hands shaking?
Calder came to his senses the moment Robby went to his knees before him. It wasn’t that he didn’t love the sight. His rock hard cock was two seconds away from peaking above the band of his underwear with no help from Robby’s hands or his lips, but Calder would have to be blind to miss the terror in the boy’s body language. He wasn’t ready for this. He deserved better than this.
“Wait. Stop,” Calder said, cursing himself. He tugged Robby to his feet. His already flushed face grew splotchy as he blinked back unshed tears. Shit. Why was Calder always making him cry? “No. Don’t do that. Fuck. You’re breaking my heart here, angel. I’m not saying no to…something…but not kitchen blowjobs. Not yet. You gotta crawl before you can run, right?”
Robby blinked rapidly, his arms once more crossing his chest. Calder hated that he was always upsetting him. He was so…tenderhearted. Calder didn’t want Robby to lose that. He definitely didn’t want to be the reason he did. But he also wasn’t strong enough to say no. If Robby wanted Calder to teach him then he would but on Calder’s terms.
Calder took Robby’s hand and led him back into the bedroom. “Get on the bed,” he said, all traces of humor gone.
Robby all but fell backwards onto the mattress, scooting himself upwards until his head was on the pillows. Calder spread the boy’s legs, settling himself between them and bracketing his forearms on either side of his head.
“Is this crawling?” Robby whispered.
Calder brushed his lips over Robby’s. “This is kissing. Just kissing. With no expectation of anything more. So relax.”
Robby gave a hesitant nod before lifting his head to capture Calder’s mouth in a kiss that sent their teeth clacking together. Robby flushed, flopping back down. “I’m a disaster. I suck at this.”
Calder smiled at the disgruntled look on the boy’s face, which only deepened his pout.
“How about you just let me lead and stop thinking so hard?”
Robby slapped his hands over his face. “You have no idea what you’re asking of me. I don’t drive because I spend my life in fear of having to parallel park.”
Calder barked out a surprised laugh, causing Robby to peek out at him from behind his fingers. “Then let me drive, okay? No thinking necessary.”
Robby dropped his hands, his expression dubious, like he wasn’t quite sure he could take Calder at his word. He understood what it was like not to trust somebody, he even understood what it was like to be afraid. “Or we could stop right here?”
Robby closed his eyes. “What if you’re disappointed? What if I do something wrong?”
“Not even possible. Sex is like pizza. Even when it’s bad, it’s good. Besides, it’s just kissing. We’ve already done this already, remember? I do.”
Robby opened one eye as if once more gauging whether Calder told the truth, and again, he was struck by how truly adorable the boy was. If he’d ever needed more of a reason to get up and run that was it, that was the moment. Something about this kid tugged at something inside Calder, and it scared the shit out of him.
“Do you want to stop?” Calder asked.
Robby shook his head, cheeks pinking.
Calder moved slowly, feathering kisses over the boy’s cheeks, his chin, his nose, before tracing the seam of his lips with his tongue. He didn’t remember the last time he’d kissed somebody without intent, without it being a means to an end. He stroked his thumb along Robby’s jaw, coaxing the boy’s mouth open beneath his.
Time slipped away. Kissing Robby was easily Calder’s new favorite thing. He collected every whimper, every sigh, every moan. Each kiss lasted longer, grew needier and more frantic. They were both hard, but Calder was content to ignore that, focusing instead on exploring new territory—Robby’s throat, his jawline, the shell of his ear, cataloguing every single response, every noise, the way Robby’s blunt nails scraped over Calder’s skin whenever he bit at the boy’s lower lip or growled against his skin.
Calder was congratulating himself on his incredible restraint when Robby decided to let his mouth do a bit of exploring of its own, his tongue darting out to taste the dip in Calder’s throat. He ground his hips down without thought.
Robby whined at the friction of their cocks slotting together with only the thin layers of fabric between them and wrapped his legs around Calder’s hips to rut against him. “Fuck, that feels so good,” Robby said, his voice wondrous, sounding almost drunk on Calder’s kisses.
“Yeah? You like that, angel?” he asked.
Robby didn’t answer, just nodded, burying his face against Calder’s throat like he was embarrassed to be enjoying himself. Maybe Calder was selfish but he wanted to hear it. “Tell me,” he whispered against his ear.
“Yes. Please, don’t stop,” Robby begged.
Fuck. So much for taking it slow. He tried to appease his guilt by reminding himself that Robby had begged for it, had asked Calder to be the bad guy, to use him up. How could he say no? He shoved their clothes out of the way, gripping the boy’s hips, helping him find a steady rhythm, losing himself in a dirty pantomime of the sex they could be having if not for Linc’s edict. But this was good, this was amazing. The feel of the boy’s cock, slick with precum, rubbing against Calder’s was perfect.
Robby was right. He was a very quick study, and Calder knew he wouldn’t stop, couldn’t even, especially if the boy kept whimpering, “Please, please,” against Calder’s skin desperately, like he might change his mind.
Not a chance. They weren’t kissing anymore, just gripping each other tight, rubbing off on each other like teens, and Calder couldn’t remember the last time he felt so present, so in the moment. His only intent was to give Robby what he needed, knowing the boy wanted just him.
