Calder stood. “It’s not like that. He’s a…friend.”
She turned away from him with a noncommittal, “Hm.”
Don’t ‘hm’ me, old lady.He gave her a wave as he made his escape from her apartment.
He found Robby in the dining room, staring slack jawed at Calder’s paintings. He was relieved that he’d stuffed Robby’s portrait to the back of a stack of finished canvases leaning against the wall. He seemed hesitant to touch any of the paintings, which suited Calder just fine. He didn’t invite people into his apartment. He kept his art to himself. He couldn’t remember the last person he’d allowed to breach the walls of his sanctum.
Robby seemed transfixed by a particular canvas. A painting of a red-haired woman sitting on the side of a bathtub, her robe down to her waist, exposing her naked back as she gazed out the window. It was her elegant neck that had snagged Calder’s attention. She’d worn her hair in a bun at the diner where she’d worked, and Calder had just had to paint her. He stepped behind Robby, close enough to smell that the boy still desperately needed a shower. He smelled like blood and sweat, which should have turned Calder off but didn’t.
“Who is she?” Robby asked.
There was the slightest tinge of something in his voice. Jealousy, maybe?
“Just a girl who let me paint her. I don’t even remember her name.” It was the truth. Calder had slept with her too, but he didn’t think that information would help his case… Not that he was trying to make a case.
Then why did it matter so much?
“She’s…elegant.”
Calder didn’t acknowledge the boy’s words. She had looked elegant, but she was just another face in the crowd to Calder. More art than human. A temporary muse who was happy to leave the next morning. “Come on. I’ll show you where the shower is, and I’ll throw together something for us to eat. I’m sure you’re starving.”
Robby nodded, his top teeth sinking into his lower lip like he was nervous about something. Calder wanted to tug that lip free and kiss it, kiss him until he didn’t look timid or anxious around him. He wanted Robby to trust him, needed him too even, but Calder wasn’t sure he deserved the boy’s trust.
He led Robby to the bathroom and showed him where everything was and then went to the kitchen and tried to pull enough food together to create a meal. He’d left a steak marinating in the refrigerator, but it wasn’t big enough for two. He found white rice, corn, frozen peppers, and avocado and decided he could turn that into a southwest stir-fry type meal. It would be quick, and then he could get the boy to bed.To sleep,Calder corrected. Alone. He’d take the couch.
Robby appeared just as Calder finished putting the food into two bowls, one plastic, one glass, neither remotely similar looking. He almost dropped the pan on his foot when he saw Robby standing there, wet and naked, a small towel slung low on his narrow hips. His hair stuck up in all directions like a baby bird, his eyes glassy and red. “I don’t have anything to wear,” he managed, his voice just slightly past a whisper.
Good,a voice whispered in Calder’s brain. The idea of keeping Robby naked and slippery had Calder’s cock hardening behind his zipper. He’d pulled clothing for the kid the night before, but he’d worn them at the station. Fuck, this was going to be impossible. “I’m sure we can find you something,” Calder said, voice cracking slightly. He cleared his throat. “I have some sweatpants that will fit.”
Robby followed Calder back to his room, and he kicked himself for not thinking to clean up the mess strewn everywhere. He opened his bottom drawer and pulled a pair of black sweatpants and a paint splattered t-shirt free. “They might be a bit big, but they should do the job.”
Robby nodded, dropping the towel right there and stepping into Calder’s pants. He jerked his head away, staring at the wall.
“It’s not like you haven’t seen me naked before,” Robby reminded him.
That was the problem. Calder had seen the boy naked. He’d touched him. Caressed him. Kissed his perfect lips. Heard him gasp with pleasure and felt him cling to him after climax. Yeah, he’d done so much more than see Robby naked. Clothed, the boy was beautiful, but naked, he was perfection, and Calder wanted to pick him up and dump him on the bed and lick every drop of water from the boy’s smooth skin.
“I’m aware, angel face. But we have to keep things professional now.” Calder cleared his throat again. “Once you’ve eaten, you can sleep in here. I’ll take the couch.”
Robby nodded, pulling the shirt over his head, before following Calder back out to the kitchen. They ate in silence, Robby staring out the window but not really like he was seeing anything, just zoning out. Casanova had made himself at home on the back of Calder’s sofa, his eyes somehow watching both sides of the room at the same time, his tongue lolling out of his mouth.
“I gotta ask. Where did you get that dog?”
The boy glanced over at Casanova and smiled the first genuine smile Calder had seen in a while. “The Glendale Humane Society.”
“Did you lose a bet?”
Robby shook his head. “I helped raise money for them a couple of months ago, and we shot the commercial there with all the puppies and cute kittens, but they had Cas hidden in the back. They said nobody wanted him, that he’d lived in that cage for over a year. He’s old, and he’s got a lot of problems. He has no teeth and he has bad skin and sometimes he faints when he gets scared.”
Calder tilted his head. “Seems like a lot of responsibility at your age.”
Robby shrugged. “I know what it’s like to be invisible, for nobody to want you. I couldn’t stomach the thought of him living the rest of his life feeling unloved.”
Calder’s chest ached at the rawness of the boy’s words. The kid was just twenty-one years old and it was like he’d already decided he’d spend his life alone. How could somebody work in front of a camera and still feel so invisible? It seemed impossible, but Calder knew deep down Robby wasn’t fishing for compliments or even just feeling sorry for himself. He believed he was unworthy. It was crazy. Robby deserved everything he desired. He deserved to have somebody who would love him through his insecurities. Somebody who would let Robby adopt a thousand special needs dogs if that’s what he wanted. Calder was certain that man existed out there somewhere, but fuck if he didn’t wish it was him.
Robby lay in Calder’s bed, in Calder’s clothes, his face buried in pillows that smelled just like Calder, like oil paint and peppermint. It was torture. He’d taken the couch—had insisted on it. But Robby hadn’t wanted him out there. He wanted to sleep wrapped in Calder’s arms. He’d thought of nothing else for days. Instead, it was only Cas snuggled against him, his tiny body curled up on the pillow beside Robby’s head. Did Calder sleep on this side of the bed?
Robby flopped onto his back, earning a grumble from his dog. He was pathetic. It was no wonder Charlie and Wyatt wanted to chuck him into a volcano. At this point, he was starting to think his virginity was bulletproof. Even the manwhore didn’t want to fuck him. Maybe he hadn’t made it obvious enough? Was standing naked in front of him not obvious? Last time, Robby hadn’t had to do anything. Calder just took control. Why couldn’t he just do that now? Had one handjob been all Calder had needed to realize Robby was too inexperienced to satisfy him?
