A high-pitched giggle pierced the room. When he realized it was his own, he slapped a hand over his mouth. His eyes were wet, but he didn’t feel like he was crying. Could you sweat through your eyes? “Making a scene? Making a scene? How’s this for making a scene, Lucifer? I won’t do it. I won’t work with him. I’m breaking my contract.”
The two execs blinked owlishly at him, before the one on the right, Hekyll, shook his head. “I would think carefully before you say another word. Breaking your contract at this late stage would be a very costly mistake.”
Elijah wanted to tear at his clothes. He couldn’t breathe. His collar was choking him. “I need to get out of here,” he told Shep. “I need to go right now.”
Shep didn’t question him, just stood and put an arm around his shoulders, leading him to the double doors of the conference room. “Just breathe, rabbit,” he whispered low enough for only him to hear.
“I’m trying,” he wheezed. “Why is it so hot in here?”
“Elijah! Where are you going? We aren’t finished here,” Lucifer shouted. “He didn’t mean it. He’s had a very hectic couple of weeks, and he’s exhausted. Give us a few days and we’ll get back to you,” he heard her say.
He shook his head to refute her words, but it didn’t matter. He was no longer in the conference room but the hallway, Shep pushing the button for the private elevator to take them to the penthouse suite where they stayed courtesy of the current studio filmingThe Silencer.
Once inside the elevator he leaned against the mirrored wall, closing his eyes to the hundreds of images of himself that stared back as the car jerked into motion.
Once upstairs, Shep guided him to the sofa. He sat stiffly, his head spinning. Had this all been some huge conspiracy? Was that why he’d set up the meeting weeks ago? Had his mother known? Was the movie why those flowers kept showing up? The heavy scent of those flowers filled his nose like they were right there and not just a triggered sense memory. His stomach lurched, but nothing came up. He hadn’t eaten since last night. Shep had tried to get him to eat breakfast earlier, but he’d been too nervous.
“Talk to me, rabbit. What’s happening here?” He shook his head. He didn’t know how to make Shep understand. He didn’t understand. “Was it him? This Leonard guy. Was he the one who hurt you?”
Elijah opened his mouth to deny it but a ragged sob escaped so he just shook his head for what felt like the hundredth time in the last five minutes. He didn’t know how to explain that this was a six degrees of separation thing. Had Leonard Medford assaulted him? Not physically. He hadn’t held him down and raped him. But he’d played a part. He’d enabled his attacker.
Elijah wanted to scream out what happened, wanted to tell Shep everything, but the words stuck in his throat, so thick and putrid he might choke. He let out a whiny sound and Shep dropped to his knees before him, gripping his hands. “Rabbit, talk to me. Just tell me who hurt you and we can make sure he’s punished.”
Elijah’s laugh rattled like broken glass. “He’ll never be punished.”
Shep’s face was stony, his brows drawn together in an expression that Elijah would call… menacing. “Tell me his name.”
“I can’t.”
“You can. You can. I promise.”
Elijah shook his head. “You don’t understand. Not… I won’t. I can’t.” It sounded stupid even to him. “I know it makes little sense. I know… but…” He looked away, trying to think of how best to explain. “I meant it when I said I’d turned him into a monster. A real monster. One that could only hurt me if I summoned him… said his name like some kind of fairy tale villain. I told myself that saying his name gave him power, like Voldemort in Harry Potter and I was safe as long as I never uttered it out loud. I told myself this so much that now I literally can’t say it. It sounds insane but whenever I try it’s like something is broken inside me. Tell me you understand.”
Shep didn’t understand. Elijah could see it in his eyes. But he nodded anyway. Before either of them could speak, a fist pounded on the door and Lucifer was screeching from the other side. “Open this door before I kick it down.”
Elijah shook his head at Shep who nodded and walked back to the front door. He swung it open in time to see Calder squaring his shoulders, using himself as a barrier between her and the door. “Does Elijah wish to speak with his manager?” Calder drawled, the words dripping slowly from his tongue like molasses.
“No, he does not.” Shep confirmed.
Lucifer’s face flushed to an unflattering purple color, fury making her face contort until she looked like the monster. She locked eyes with Elijah who stared back at her, immune to her tantrums. “You are ruining everything. Everything! I won’t let you do this. You will do that movie, Eli. Do you hear me? You will. Get your hands off me before I pepper spray you, you grimy hippie.” She ranted, yanking her arm from Calder’s grip. “I’ll be back, Eli. Don’t think I won’t.”
Shep closed the door in her face. He returned to Elijah, gently pulling him to his feet and taking him into the bedroom. He undressed the two of them and lay on the bed, spooning him. “Is this good?” he asked.
Elijah turned in his arms until they faced each other. “This is perfect. I’m sorry I’m like this. I know I’m a lot to take.”
Shep caressed Elijah’s cheek. “Nah, you’re a dream. You’re perfect.”
Elijah snorted. “Yeah, right. I can’t even tell you the name of the guy who hurt me. I wish you could force it out of me. You know, like you did with those insurgents.”
“You don’t know what you’re saying,” Shep said, shaking his head.
Elijah knew. He knew exactly what he was saying. The more he thought about it, the more sense it made. Shep forced people to give up information they didn’t want to tell. He made them say it. “No, it’s perfect. You can interrogate me… make me tell you.”
“Rabbit, no.”
Something withered inside Elijah. “Please, Sam. This guy… this name. It’s like a splinter under my skin. You can’t see it, but it’s there, infecting me, and until I get it out, it’s just going to keep festering.”
Shep brushed Elijah’s hair from his face. “You’re asking me to hurt you. I will never hurt you.”
