“Yes. You’re always acting, always morphing into the next character. It’s fascinating, but I can’t learn your tells because you never stop shifting.”
“So this is my fault?” Elijah muttered.
Shep’s hands squeezed Elijah’s thighs, blowing air out through his nose. “No. That’s not what I mean. I think you’re… amazing. You might be the single most interesting person I’ve ever met.” He looked away like he was trying to decide what he wanted to say next. When he looked back, his golden eyes pinned him in place. “Whatever you want, I want to give it to you. But I can only do that if I know. I can’t read you… so you have to tell me. Just tell me and it’s yours.”
Elijah tried to puzzle his way through Shep’s confession. “What if you don’t want to do what I want?”
“Will it make you happy?”
That was the third time Shep had asked him that question, and he still had no answer. “I don’t know what happiness is, really.”
Shep smiled. “Me either.”
It occurred to Elijah that Shep meant it.“You’ve never been happy?”
Shep shrugged. “I’ve never been anything, really. Not fully. It’s like experiencing touch with gloves on. I know that I should feel things and sometimes I do, but the sensations are… dulled.”
A sadness settled over Elijah. “You feel nothing? Love? Happiness? Desire?”
All the air left Elijah’s lungs as Shep leaned into Elijah’s space, lips skimming his cheek. “When you look at me, I feel it.” Shep murmured. “When you gasped my name, I felt it.”
“Felt it how,” Elijah managed.
Shep gripped Elijah’s hips, pulling him flush against him. Elijah sucked in a breath at the feel of Shep’s obvious arousal. “I might not understand love or hate, but my body understands yours. My body responds to you… only you. Do you understand?”
Elijah’s heart felt like it would fly from his chest. He didn’t understand. Not really. But Shep wanted him. Just him. That was enough. It was more than enough. Elijah caught Shep’s lips in a hesitant kiss, still unsure how to proceed.
Shep’s hands rose to cup his face, deepening the kiss in a way that left Elijah breathless. Shep kissed him like he was trying to inhale him, absorb him through osmosis, and it left Elijah shaky and wanting more. When Shep’s fingers slipped beneath Elijah’s shirt, his thoughts went fuzzy, until he could only think of Shep’s palms skimming along his sides,his lips grazing along the skin of his throat. When he buried his nose behind Elijah’s ear, Shep growled—literally growled—and the sound went straight to Elijah’s dick.“You smell so good,” Shep muttered almost to himself.
Elijah dragged Shep back up for another kiss. “I want you,” he said against his lips.
Before he could even comprehend his intentions Shep was jostling Elijah, tugging his pants and underwear out of the way to free his erection. “What—” was all he managed before Shep’s head dipped, his body bending in half to envelop his cock in the most perfect suction. “Oh, Jesus. Oh, fuck… You don’t have to do…. Oh, holy fuck. Never mind. Yes, do that.”
His hands white-knuckled the edge of the counter as Shep sucked him off, Elijah’s eyes rolling as Shep did a thing with his tongue that shot sparks of pleasure licking along his spine. “This… I am… oh, God, I’m not going to last.”
Shep pressed a hand against Elijah’s chest, pushing him back on the island counter until he stared up at the pendulum lights, eyes crossing at the tight heat of Shep’s mouth. It wasn’t Elijah’s first blowjob, but it was aggressive and chaotic and the hottest thing that Elijah had ever experienced. “Sam… Oh, fuck.” He tried to tug Shep back. “I’m gonna come,” he warned.
Shep ignored him, taking Elijah to the back of his throat, blowing air from his nose as he swallowed, his muscles convulsing around Elijah just as his thumb stroked behind his balls. Elijah’s orgasm hit him like a tidal wave and he came hard down Shep’s throat. He didn’t pull off, just continued to suck until Elijah hissed.
He sat up, pulling Shep in for a dirty kiss, tasting himself on Shep’s lips. Elijah undid Shep’s jeans, plunging a hand into his underwear to wrap his hand around Shep’s thick cock. He worked him hard and fast, Shep groaned, dropping his head to Elijah’s shoulder. “Fuck, rabbit,” Shep muttered, his words vibrating against his skin. And then he was spilling over Elijah’s fist with a harsh noise.
Elijah released Shep, both of them breathing hard. Shep raised Elijah’s hand, cum still slick on his fingers. He caught some on his thumb, pressing it to Elijah’s lips. Elijah opened his mouth, sucking his finger clean. Aferal growl fell from Shep’s lips.
“Jesus,” Elijah whispered when he could speak again. “What did you used to do for a living?”
“I worked for a private military contractor,” Shep said.
Elijah barked out a surprised laugh. “Did they teach you to suck dick like that?”
“No, I watched a video on it.”
Elijah gave another laugh but then realized Shep was serious. Once more his heart seemed to flutter in his chest. “When?”
“Last night.”
Elijah absorbed that information, dumbfounded. Shep had watched a video to learn how to give Elijah a blowjob. He’d studied up. For him. Just for him. His chest felt tight and a lump formed in his throat. It was such a bizarrely sweet gesture and so very… Shep. “Well, you’re a quick study,” was all Elijah could manage, anything more and he might do something stupid like propose. People didn’t do things to please Elijah, he did things to please them..
Shep pressed a kiss to Elijah’s forehead. It was such an intimate gesture that he froze. Before he could focus too much on what it meant, a series of small beeps sounded and then the front door opened and closed.
