“He’ll go. That boy needs somebody on his side… and that will never be you.”
There was the sound of boots on the stairs and his mother sobbing from somewhere below. Elijah couldn’t bring himself to move. He just sat there, numb. Elijah felt like somebody had taken a sword and cut him into two pieces. The Elijah before and the Elijah after. Before Elijah had color and happiness and warmth but the other Elijah—the Elijah he was now—had nothing but gray and empty and cold. He was always so cold. He didn’t know if moving to Montana would put him back together, but he couldn’t help but feel like staying in Hollywood would only keep his two pieces drifting further apart.
A shadow loomed above him and then his grandpa was hunkering down beside him, his long gray hair hung to his shoulders and his brown eyes were red where they should have been white, but he gave Eli a wet smile. “Your dad used to hide in this same spot when he was a kid.”
Elijah said nothing, but he nodded, wiping the snot dripping from his nose on the sleeve of his black t-shirt.
“How’d you like to come stay with me?”
“For how long?” Elijah managed, his voice sounding raw.
“For as long as you want. Sound good?”
Eli managed another nod but couldn’t help but say. “She’ll come to get me eventually.”
His grandpa ruffled his hair. “You let me worry about your mother. Let’s go get your things.”
His grandpa’s hand was rough, but he gripped it, anyway. He held on for dear life because he just knew if he let go, all the monsters in his life would keep him there, and Elijah needed to be as far away from this town as possible.
Elijah Dunne hated red carpet events. It made him sound like a complete asshole, but it was true. They turned his stomach; they had since he was little. It wasn’t the cameras or the reporters or even the screaming fans. It was the access. The moment he stepped out of the car, he no longer belonged to himself. Anybody could do whatever they wanted and all he could do was just take it.
The limo driver lingered outside, hand on the door handle waiting for Elijah to knock and let him know he could open the door, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He couldn’t put it off much longer. Other cars were waiting. He stared out the window, feeling like he had a boulder in his stomach despite not eating all day. Cameras flashed, causing lights to dance in front of his eyes.
His co-star and date, Delissandra Cortes, squeezed his leg, bouncing in her seat a bit. “Look at all of them. This is surreal. I know it’s nothing to you but, like, holy shit. Nobody back home in Des Moines will believe any of this.” She turned away from him, taking a video of the lights flashing behind her.
He spared her a glance, wishing he could shed his foul mood and just enjoy the night for what it was, a chance for the world to see all their hard work come to fruition. He was at Sundance. It was a huge deal. They’d all worked so hard on this movie. He needed to just suck it up. This was what he did. It was who he was. He was an actor. He could act like he felt something more than blind panic. If he could just get in the right headspace, he could be whoever they wanted him to be.
“Jesus, Elijah. All these people are here for you. The least you could do is look happy. Just open the door and let’s do this before my hair wilts.”
He took a deep breath and let it out before rapping his knuckles against the window. The driver swept the door open and a million flashing lights made him wince He never got used to that. Once he exited the car, he turned to help Delissandra from the vehicle. Her heels were so high, he doubted she could manage it on her own. Nobody showed up to Sundance in tuxes and ball gowns. No, Utah is where they came to out-chic each other. Everybody but Elijah and his boring black jeans and black button-down combo… Lucifer approved.
His heart dropped at even the thought of her name. She was out there somewhere, swimming with the other sharks, even though she had no reason to be on the carpet. That’s why he had Paige, his publicist, for navigating events like this. But Lucifer always had an agenda. Fuck. He just wanted to go home.
It only took about thirty seconds for the two of them to get swept into the usual chaos. Fans screaming, begging for autographs, tabloid reporters hollering questions from just beyond the barriers, handlers trying to move them down the gauntlet of journalists as quickly as possible. Elijah kept his head down to protect his eyes, knowing there would be another slew of cameras just around the corner. Delissandra’s rep waved them closer, leaning in to whisper something in the girl’s ear. Paige was nowhere to be found, neither was Lucifer.
He gripped Delissandra’s arm hard enough for her to suck in a pained breath. “What’s wrong?”
He dropped her arm, clenching his fists to quell the shaking. “Something’s not right. Paige and Lucy aren’t here.”
The girl frowned. “I’m sure it’s nothing. They’re probably inside making last-minute arrangements.”
He scanned the staging area as they moved down the line to the first group of photographers, looking for any familiar faces, but he recognized nobody. Delissandra elbowed him in the ribs, and he glanced up, striking a pose for the cameras without missing a beat before returning to his frantic search.
A hand on his back separated him from Delissandra,moving him to the first journalist, Misty Jennings, withHollywood Daily. As soon as he stood before her, he knew something was wrong. Her smile turned predatory. “Elijah, how are you feeling about the photos TMZ just released of you and Jeremiah Hastings? What do you say to their allegations thatyou’re gay?”
Elijah froze, blinking as his brain fought to process the question. “What?”
The reporter didn’t repeat herself. “Do you think you’re being gay will affect you getting the part of Eagle in the nextEmpirefilm?”
The taste of metal flooded his mouth and his blood rushed in his ears. He needed to say somethingbut nothing came. Lucifer’s voice cut through the fray. “No comment. He has no comment. Elijah, do not say a word.”
That wouldn’t be a problem. Elijah had no words. Not a single one. He’d always known the day would come, but he hadn’t expected it to happen this way. Lucifer’s hand slid around his bicep and, for the first time, he could remember, relief flooded him.
“Hey!”
Elijah didn’t know why he turned around at the sound of the angry man’s voice. It was a miracle he heard it at all over thecrowd and his own heartbeat, but he had. He turned to search for the voice behind the reporter. He had only a moment to register the object in the man’s hand before a searing pain had him covering his left eye. He had no idea what was happening, but something cold and sticky clung to him.A soda or a slushie? He couldn’t be sure. It didn’t matter. Within seconds,two larger men in black jackets tackled the man and Lucifer dragged Elijah down the carpet. He could hear the man shouting at his back, using every homophobic slur imaginable, but it wasn’t registering. He was having a nightmare and any moment he’d wake up back at home and all of this would just disappear.
Lucy’s voice cut through the roar of the crowd. “We need a medic. Now!”
