I still have it, Rina signed.
I shook my head. “I know that.” I swallowed. “I don’t mean to pry, Rina. I just…I guess I just wanted to know if you ever miss…” I swallowed a second time.
Talking?she signed.
“Well, yeah,” I said.
She grabbed a notebook and pen from her nightstand drawer, and then started writing.I’ve lived almost all my life without words, Myles. My silence is my comfort, my advantage against the occasional screams in my head. It’s strong, and it makes me feel powerful. I like myself with my silence, and I don’t know if I’d feel the same if I knew how to physically use my words.
I stared at her after reading that, and my heart all but warmed with pride for her. The positivity she exuded was nothing short of inciting, and yes, her decision to stay the way she was, was selective, but it was still herowndecision – one she’d learnt to use as an advantage rather than an outlet of pain and despair to hurt herself for what happened all those years ago.
We don’t always do things the right way when we’re hurting, but when we do, it definitely comes from a place of ease for ourselves, and honestly, there’s nothing wrong in being slightly selfish and thinking about yourself when you’re down and need a way out.
Everyone has a different way of dealing with things, as they say. Rina’s was unconventionally amazing, and I appreciated her unconditionally for telling me about it.
When I told her just that, she closed the album, put it aside, and surged forward before wrapping her arms around my neck.
I chuckled, and she rose on her knees so she could straddle me. The moonlight pouring into the room illuminated her features as she grinned, while the lamplight acted as a dim halo behind her.
I scanned her face for a beat or three before touching our foreheads together. I then reciprocated her grin as I slowly ran my thumbs over her wet cheeks.
“Tell me how you feel,” I urged her.
She shifted closer to me, and our noses brushed.Happy, she signed.
“Why?”
She lifted a shoulder, then signed,Youmake me happy.
I let go of an unsteady breath. “I do?”
She nodded and kissed me softly.
Everything inside me tightened, and then expanded at the sincerity in her gaze.
“You make me happy, too,” I told her honestly. “Somuch that I can’t believe you’ve pickedme, of all people, to be yours.”
She sucked in a breath at my words.Say it again, she signed.
I furrowed my brows. “Say what?” I asked.
Her sable eyes gleamed against the nightlight as she touched the tips of her fingers to my mouth.That you are mine, she signed.
I inhaled, and then exhaled against her skin. “I’m yours, Rina,” I said. “I sometimes can’t believe it, but it’s true. I’m yours, and I think I always have been.” I kissed her once. “I always want to be.”
She placed a hand over her heart, and then brought it over to mine in a way to say,I’m yours.
God, this woman waseverything. I didn’t know what to say, what todo.
She bent and kissed me, full of honest need, so I gripped her waist and pulled her closer to my body.
“Rina…” I breathed against her, and pressed my lips to hers again.
She was perfect – the kind that fit so well with my crazy. I was at her mercy as she rocked against me; I was all but swimming in her gentle moans and delicate gasps.
And, when my words began to waver under the weight of our growing desires, I couldn’t hold back, and so, I caved.
Until I couldn’t hear past the roaring in my head; until we couldn’t feel our legs or much less care about what was happening around us.
