No wonder she’d left me alone in the living room in the wake of a fresh wave of disgust towards myself. She didn’t owe me anything, not after what I’d said to her.
Her time was rightfully reserved for the people in her life who actually understood the importance of her presence.Theyare the ones who deserve her smiles, her laughter, her touches.
Notme.
10. Holding Back
Ipressed my lips together to make sure my lipstick was in place as I reached the living room, careful not to let my eyes wander. It was a new day, and if I allowed it, it’d be one full of opportunities, more happy customers, and even some laughter with friends along the way.
I could hear him, and even smell that spicy aftershave of his – one I’d first smelt when I’d almost kissed him the day before yesterday.
I took another step forward, and he turned. I told myself not to – oh, how I fought the urge – but I still looked up. Our eyes met. He ran his gaze over me, slow and thorough, so I did the same.
Eyes clashed.
He licked his lips. I parted mine – just barely.
We looked. We stared. We held back.
And then, when I realized that all of this’d go nowhere, I rushed past him to the door and out into the street in the next heartbeat.
I did the same thing the next day.
And the next.
And the one after that.
11. When Eyes Meet
Idusted the wood shavings off my jeans before rising. I then asked Paul to grab a sheet of fiber and a bottle of adhesive from the kitchen so that we could be done with the fourth cabinet before moving onto the drawers.
I sensed her first, and then, the smell of her perfume wafted over to me – the one I’d first smelt when I’d ran the tip of my nose over her cheek the day before yesterday.
I turned, just as she took a step forward. I yelled at myself not to – oh, how I strained against the urge – but I still looked up. Our eyes met. She stopped in her tracks, so I took that as an opportunity to slowly drag my gaze over her. She mirrored my assessment.
Eyes clashed.
I licked my lips. She parted hers – just enough to throw my coherency out the back door.
We looked. We stared. We held back.
And then, as if realizing something, she rushed past me to the door and out into the street, and reluctantly, I got back to work.
I did the same thing the next day.
And the next.
And the one after that.
12. Don’t Do This
12 days later
Is that a knock? A tap ofAvô’scane? An alpaca banging its head against my headboard?
I groaned and managed to half-open my eyes. It was still a little dark in my room, and a quick glance at my bedside clock confirmed my suspicion of it being too early for my lazy ass to be waking up.
7:03a.m.
