He swallowed and placed his elbows on the kitchen counter. “Someone I know – a girl named Bailey – got married today,” he said, and then blinked at me. “I’ve known her since the beginning of my career. We met during my first modelling gig; we started things off together, in a way. But…” he sighed and dragged his fingers through his hair. “But then things changed and we got into this…this fluctuating relationship that didn’t last long, and even after I decided to end things, I told her that she could reach out to me whenever she needed to. We started texting on and off after that, but nothing crazy-deep or anything.” He ran his hands over his face and looked at me. “She’d text me whenever she’d need me to bail her out of a bad relationship, or if she ever needed money. She wasn’t really doing well professionally, and usually ended up being with guys just for their wealth and status.” He closed his eyes and clenched his jaw before releasing a slow breath.
“Hey.” I reached out and gently grabbed his right wrist. “It’s okay; take your time.”
He gazed at me with pain on his face. “I just saw her latest post. She’s put up a photo of her and her husband. She’s married, Zaira.Married. And when I asked her about it, she blocked my numberandmy social media accounts.” He shook his head. “The guy she’s married to is old, too. Fucking perv. I know why she’s with him, and I don’t like it. I care about her, and what she’s done is not something that I will be able to get her out of if she ever needs me to.”
I let go of his wrist, placed a small towel over the cutting board, and walked around the counter to where he was sitting.
He looked up at me with a vulnerability that pinched at my heart, and when I placed my forearms on his shoulders before running my fingers through the back of his head, his eyelids fluttered as he leaned into my touch.
“It’s not about her not telling me about any of this, or even about her blocking me,” he began. “It’s about her safety and happiness. Am I angry she hid so much from me? Yes. But it’s not my place to demand she tell me why. She isn’t obligated to share everything with me, but marriage is a serious thing, and I can’t help but feel like a stupid piece of shit for always being there for her and caring for her, when in the end, all she did was stomp on my belief. And I don’t know how I’ll even react if she ever contacts me again and asks for my help. I just…I don’t know.”
“Gall…” I straddled him, which resulted in our faces to align. “When was the last time you spoke to her – text or otherwise?”
He exhaled against my cheek and circled his arms around my waist. “A few weeks ago, maybe. Come to think of it, she hasn’t been responding to my messages for a while. I just assumed she must be busy with a gig or something, so I didn’t try calling her. Then I got occupied withWaves That Hold Usand everything else that came with it. I haven’t really contacted her much.”
I gave him a small smile and placed a hand on his bare chest. “Maybe she found someone else who worries about her just as much as you do, and that’s why she let you go. I know that the whole idea of it sounds a little hard to believe, but it could be because you’re used to her coming to you for aid, and now that you know she might not anymore, a part of you is a little unsure and worried about letting her go.” I placed a soft kiss on his lips. “Not everyone we meet during the course of our lives is supposed to be a constant variable. Some remain a part of our existence, while others don’t. Some want to stay with us, and some decide to walk away. It’s easy for some to move on and find a different purpose, while for the rest – it’s not as fluent. You’re strong, passionate, and caring, Gallan, and if Bailey has decided to move on, it may not be because she doesn’t want you in her life anymore, but maybe because she, too, cares about you and wants you to live your life without her problems getting in the way every so often. Maybe this is her way of saying that she has someone now; that she’s found what she was looking for. Not everyone expresses things the same way, baby. Some like to hurt you just so they can save you from themselves.”
He swallowed. “And what if she’s suffering and needs me?” he asked. “What if she’s hiding something from me?”
I cupped his face between my hands. “But what if she doesn’t? What if she’s not?”
He shook his head. “I can’t help but think that–”
“If she ever reaches out to you again, I promise you that we’ll be there for her in a heartbeat,” I said to him. “If she needs help, we’ll give her that. But until and unless it’shermaking the first move, you won’t do anything. Promise me that you’ll trust her decision and let things be, instead of doing something that might make her hesitant to reach out to you in the future.”
He searched my face for a while, and then, with a sigh, he gave me a nod. “I promise.”
“Good.” I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him again.
“I don’t deserve you, Zaira,” he whispered against my lips. “In every life that I’ll ever live, I will not deserve you – ever. You’re too fucking good for an asshole like me, but damn if I can’t help but take everything you have andare. I’m selfish; I’m greedy. I’m hungry for you. I always will be.”
Warmth filled every part of me at his words. “You’re not an asshole, Gallan.”
He pressed his forehead to mine. “I am; I did act like one with you, even though you didn’t deserve it. You support me and look after me, and I – I disrespected you by raising my voice at you. I’m sorry. So damn sorry.”
“Shh.” I brushed his hair away from his eye. “You’re allowed to have these days. You’re only human, after all. Just…” I swallowed. “Just don’t push me away like you did earlier. Don’t keep things in and let them consume you. I’m here for you, Gall; I’m here for anything you need.
I know it’s not easy living the life you live; doing what you do. But please know that I’ll forever be by your side; that I’ll forever want what’s best for you.”
“I really don’t deserve you,” he said again. “But I want you; Ineedyou like one would their heartbeats. Thank you for being you, and for loving me the way you do.”
I smiled and pulled him closer to me. “I wouldn’t know how else to behave with you,” I told him. “And even if my life depended on it, I wouldn’t know hownotto love you.”
He grinned, and the pain, the anger, the confusion – they began fading from his dark eyes.
“You know your compliments make my ego twerk to Beyoncé, right?” he said.
I chuckled and shook my head at him. “Baboon.” I took his smiling lips in a sound kiss. “I’m starving. Help me make dinner, come on.”
His grin broadened, and goosebumps enveloped my entire body when he said, “Anything you need, baby – I’m here.Always.”
And just like that, everything was fine between us.
Abso-fucking-lutelyfine.
