36.
March 3rd, 2020
Iwiggled my toes under Gallan’s chin again, and stretched my arms above my head as I yawned. We were relaxing on my living room couch after he’d fucked the literal daylight out of me around an hour ago, and even though I was sore, I was so ready to have him inside me again.
He was sitting on my couch – shirtless – with his jeans hung low on his hips, his glossy hair curtaining his right temple, a couple pillows on his lap, and my legs propped on top of said pillows.
It was almost 9p.m., and I was hungry beyond belief, but because I was lazy and didn’t feel like getting up and making us dinner, I pushed myself further against the couch and wiggled my toes over Gallan’s scruff with my eyes closed.
After shoot had wrapped up a couple hours ago, he’d said that he wanted to take me out on a lavish date to celebrate my book success. I had, of course, refused, because I was in no mood to be out and about with my eye candy and have the paparazzi circle us like foxes, when him and I could very easily have an intimate and cozy time in my apartment with homemade food and ice cream instead. And when I’d told Gallan exactly that, he’d tried to persuade me, but had given up when I’d threatened to kick him in the nuts.
I was a phenomenal girlfriend, wasn’t I? A complete role model.
I shifted and looked at him when he didn’t tickle my feet like he’d been doing for the past few minutes whenever I’d tease him with my toes, and my brows furrowed when I noticed the expression on his face. He was staring at his phone with his jaw clenched tight, and his nostrils a little flared.
I sat up straight and pulled my legs back. “Gallan?”
He whipped his head in my direction. “What?” he almost barked the word in my face.
My breath hitched in surprise, and my stomach knotted when I saw the anger in his eyes. “What…what happened?” I managed to ask through my shock.
His eyes narrowed. “What are you talking about?” His tone was accusatory and rude, which didn’t sit well with me.
“Why are you acting like this all of a sudden, Gallan?” I questioned.
He exhaled roughly. “Likewhat, Zaira?Like an actual fucking human being?”
I clenched my hands into fists. “Don’t use that tone with me.”
He scoffed. “What, am I not sweet enough for you anymore? Not cheesy and romantic enough to fit your preference? Is that the only way you like me? Huh, Zaira?”
I couldn’t help the tears that fell down my cheeks upon seeing this…side of him.
This wasn’t my Gallan.
This wasn’t the man who held my heart.
This wasn’t the man I’d fallen in love with.
I got to my feet and pushed my oversized t-shirt down to my thighs as more tears painted my cheeks. “I’m not doing this with you right now,” I said to him. “Something has happened, I know that, because this isn’t you. And, because you aren’t ready to tell me what it is that has caused this sudden change in your behavior, I’ll just leave it be and let you decide what to say or do next.” I turned around and headed for the kitchen. “I’m making dinner; join me if you want to.”
“I’m not hungry,” he voiced blandly.
“Fine.” I swiped at my eyes from under my glasses and focused on evening out my breathing. I pushed a fallen strand of hair behind my ear as I opened my refrigerator and pulled out the items I’d need to makeChickenKorma. When I began placing the veggies and chicken on the kitchen counter, I realized that my hands were shaking. I swallowed as I tried to steady them, but when I failed, I gave up with a sigh and moved to the drawers and cabinets behind me so I could grab the needed spices and herbs.
Things had been just fine when Gallan and I had stumbled into my apartment with our lips locked in a relentless kiss. When he’d stripped me out of my clothes and placed me on the couch. When he’d unzipped and unbuttoned his jeans before pushing himself inside me. When he’d taken me in a way I knew he wanted to take me. When he’d kissed me breathless after and said that he loved me.
When I’d said I loved him too…
Things had been absolutelyfine, until they weren’t. I didn’t know what had caused him to behave the way he had with me, but I wasn’t one to get in his space and force him to tell me something, so the next move would behis, not mine. If he wanted to talk, he could. If he was willing to answer my questions without spitting words at me like I was the cause of his distress, then, and only then, would I listen.
I swallowed again when a lump formed in my throat, right before another wave of tears obscured my vision. It was hard for me to get a grasp on Gallan and I’s little argument – if I could even call what had just happened between us an argument. I guess it’s because I so easily lose myself in him that I don’t exactly spare a thought to the other side of the coin – to the flip side ofhim. It’s really easy to live and enjoy the positive notions of a relationship, but when the negative ones appear, they make us realize that we are, after all, only humans. That we have both good and bad days; that we are allowed to crash against the wave of emotions, and bounce back to sanity when our minds desire.
I slammed the bottles of herbs and spices on the kitchen counter and grabbed a knife from its wooden holder to my left. I slid out a cutting board from next to it, placed it before me, and then grabbed a tomato. I saw a flash of movement, and a moment later, Gallan sat on the stool that was right in front of me on the other side of the counter.
“Baby.” His voice held caution, hesitance.Regret.
I dropped the knife on the board and looked at him. I didn’t say anything, because it wasn’tmewho needed to do the explaining. It washim.
