56.
November 20th, 2020
When I was four, I’d once fallen off my bicycle and into a small construction hole near the edge of my street. The moment my skin had forcibly met the hard ground, I’d seen stars. Quite literally. And don’t even get me started on the pain. The pain I’d experienced that day had beenexcruciating, and by the time my neighbor had found me, I’d slipped into a zone where nothing else but the constant throb and burn and ache in my heavily bruised body existed.
I’ve never felt agony so strong in my life, not since that time.
Not untilnow…
Not until a few minutes ago when we’d landed in Manchester, England, and Shane had told me something that had unknowingly brought back the wounded four-year-old me. Something that had left me just as injured as that day all those years ago.
Just as fucking damaged and numb.
It felt like my skin was being ripped open. Like my lungs had stopped working. Like my brain was on an unstoppable rollercoaster or something.
“Hey.” Kenneth placed a comforting hand on my left shoulder and handed a glass full of Macallan to me.
“Thanks,” I said a little gruffly, and then took the glass from him before looking at Dylan. “She didn’t talk to you about thisat all?” I asked. “You’re the only one she really speaks to these days.” I didn’t wanna sound jealous or pissed off, but I knew for a fact that Idid.
We were in my hotel suite, and as I sat there in my bed with a tumbler of scotch in hand, a voice in my head kept crashing against the sound of ongoing traffic outside.
She’d ended it.
She’d put a full stop on us.
She’d given up on everything we had.
Dylan sighed and leaned back in his chair. “I swear she didn’t tell me. We haven’t spoken a lot in the last few days. She hardly responds to my texts, and when I call, she either doesn’t pick up, or gives me two-word answers when she does.”
I looked at Shane next. “Why the fuck did you ask her to make a decision like this? Couldn’t you have discussed things with me before texting her?” I took a drink from my glass. “You also kept her answer from me for the lastninedays. Who the hell gave you that right?”
Zaira had asked Shane to make an official announcement in regards to her and I’s breakup. If it wasn’t for the damn press tour, I would’ve been standing outside her apartment banging on her door so I could give her a piece of my mind for her lack of willingness when it came tous.
How the fuck did she give up so easily? How and why in God’s screwed up Earth did she think it was a good idea to begin with? Did she give no fucks about me or my feelings?
I was so livid I wanted to hit something.Hard.
Shane, who was sitting next to Dylan, scowled at me. “I’m yourmanager, in case you forgot. I did what I thought was right for you. I couldn’t have the tabloids printing random, untrue stories about your current relationship status. You and Zaira have posted nothing on your social media accounts, and seeing your lack of activity there is giving everyone an itch to keep bugging you with questions about your love life during this press tour. I simply told Zaira all of this, and gave her time to think about what she wanted me to do. When she responded within the next few hours, I, too, was shocked. But she made her choice, G, and I gotta respect that. So do you.”
I tightened my grip on my glass. “Why keep all of this from me, then?” I asked between gritted teeth. “Why didn’t you tell me everything as soon as you got the response text from her?”
He ran a hand over his clean-shaven head. “Because you had huge junkets in Boston, Miami, and Chicago, and we then had to fly here. It was hectic enough that I didn’t want to stress you out even more. You have a personal day-off today, so I thought I’d finally tell you.”
I scoffed. “Wow, Shane; howthoughtfulof you.”
“Careful,” Kenneth said to me. “Show some respect, alright? He’s doing his job, at the same time making sure you don’t feel the strain of everything too harshly. I understand that you’re hurt, but taking it out on Shane won’t fix anything.”
I clenched my jaw as I glared at the carpet under my boots. “I’m sorry,” I muttered, and then finished my glass before putting it out to Kenneth. “More.”
He grabbed the bottle off the bar behind him and refilled my glass with a slight shake of his head.
“You’re gonna drop dead on the floor if drinking is all you do for the rest of the day,” Dylan told me.
I shrugged. “Don’t care.”
“Stop being foolish,” added Shane. “Talk to her about this. I’m not putting anything out there immediately, so there’s time.”
I whipped my head up. “There’s nothing toput out there, Shane,” I said. “Nothing. You’re not making any fucking announcements, alright?”
