44.
September 26th, 2020
Igave Ross another nod which, instead of making him leave, made him stay and ramble on some more. I wasn’t at all interested in listening to him, but the guy was incapable of understanding indirect and subtle hints.
Oh well…
“I very much like the way you approach this particular scene,” he said, and then pointed at a paragraph on the page he was holding. “However, I think Kenneth’s way of performing this…” More pointing. “…is not as commendable as yours. I also think that you should…”
I tuned him out, and my eyes – like they always do – went to Zaira. She was sitting in a chair on the far-left corner, with Kenzie next to her. The latter was busy on her phone, while my girl…
Well, she looked…distressed. Her eyes were unfocused behind her glasses; the mask covering the lower half of her face made it hard to witness her expression. Her shoulders were slumped, whereas her gloved hands were close to ripping apart my copy of the day’s script.
“Gallan, are you lis–”
“Yes, Ross.Yes,” I cut him off as I glanced at him. “I’m listening, and I’ll talk to Kenneth about your vision of seeing this scene executed in a specific way. Now, will you please excuse me?”
His lips moved, but no words came out.
Hallelujah.
I flashed my teeth at him. “Thank you.” I swiveled on my feet and made my way over to Zaira.
She’d been acting this way ever since I’d told her about overhearing Aubrey on the phone. I think it’s more about me knowing of Aubrey’s intentions of wanting to bother her that has had Zaira this stressed. She’s worried it’ll affect me in some way, which is why I’ve found her to be always on edge or easily spooked while on set since filming started back up.
Things haven’t been as smooth at home as well. I think we’ve spent a total of three hours together in the last few days. Zaira has been keeping me away, and I know it’s because she thinks it’ll keep me safe from a scandal or unnecessary trouble, but what she doesn’t understand is that her change of behavior is affecting me more than any of Aubrey’s cheap stunts ever would.
“Hey.” I knelt in front of her, which brought us face-to-face. “Babe?” I placed my hands on her wrists.
She gasped and made to pull her arms back, but stopped and relaxed when our eyes met.
“Hey.” She gave me a faint smile.
God, I absolutelyhatedseeing her so on edge.
I rose a little on my knees so that I was closer to her, and then pushed her mask down to her chin. “What’re you thinking?” I asked, and when she opened her mouth to respond, I gently cut her off. “Don’t even try to say ‘nothing’, because I know you’re thinking of something.”
“If you’re already so sure, then why ask?”
“Because you’re clawing at my script pages as if you were born to do it, and I wanna know what in particular is causing that reaction,” I told her.
She looked down at said script, and then at me. With a sigh, she loosened her hold on the pages, closed her eyes, and shook her head. “I’m sorry.”
“Why are you sorry?” I took the script from her and handed it to Kenzie, who grabbed it, got to her feet, gave me an understanding nod, and headed towards the locker room.
“Because I haven’t been myself for the past few days,” Zaira answered.
I pushed her glasses up her nose. “You haven’t, yes, and I’m scared about it,” I said honestly. “I don’t like watching you like this, Zaira. It fuckingkillsme to see you this lost. This isn’t you; you’re not weak. If anything, you’ve given me the strength to move forward whenever I’ve fallen back or doubted myself. Where’s that woman now, huh? Where’s my pillar, my sole source of untimely amusement?”
She opened her eyes and searched my face. “My humor isn’t untimely. If anything, I like to think that my comedic timing is on point almost every time I crack a joke.” There was no mirth in her voice as she said those words. She was only trying to convince me that she was doing fine. She wasn’t, of course, and the dimness in her eyes, her slightly pale complexion, and her stiffened posture were all proof of that.
“Don’t pretend with me, Zaira,” I told her.
“I’m not,” she countered a little too quickly, which confirmed that she was in fact pretending.
“Don’t lie to me either,” I said.
She swallowed. “I’m not…” She exhaled slowly. “I just…” She licked her lips and shook her head again.
