42.
September 18th, 2020
“Ican’t believe how smoothly Gallan moved all attention from you to himself,” Kenzie said as we entered the locker room. “Awesome rescue tactic.”
When Kenneth and Gallan had finished refilming their segment to save me from melting in embarrassment after the ball-dropping accident, Ross had given everyone a timeout for lunch. All of my stuff was in Gallan’s trailer, so I’d decided to tag along with Kenzie to the locker room so she could grab her bag.
Gallan had proposed for our squad to have lunch with him and I in his trailer, and had already texted me a total of eleven times in the last few minutes to come to him before he came and got me himself.
I chuckled at Kenzie. “I mean, he did use a very reasonable excuse to pull me out of–” I stopped when my phonepingedwith a new message.
“Gallan needs to get a life,” Kenzie mused as she glanced between me and my phone. “You’ve only been separated for what, five minutes?”
I laughed and read his newest message to her. “Zaira, where the heck are you? It’s been exactly seven minutes and thirty-three seconds since I kissed you. Not that I’m keeping track of time or anything…”
She began cackling as she moved to her locker. “That dude is really something else. You know I–” she stopped, and when I looked at her, I found her staring at something to her right. I couldn’t see what it was because her body was blocking my view.
“Ken, you okay?” I said.
She didn’t seem to have heard me, so I called out again. “Ken, babe. You all right?”
She turned slowly, and swallowed when our eyes met.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” I asked as I walked over to her.
She looked a little pale, and even a little angry.
“Ken, you’re scaring me.”
She let go of a breath and moved to the side.
I looked to where she was looking, and my entire body instantly went numb when I saw the words written in bright red lipstick at the very center of my locker room door.
ATTENTION-HUNGRY WHORE
“Zaira…” Kenzie’s voice sounded like an echo in a cave, because in that moment, it felt like I was far, far away from everything.
From reality.
I wasn’t expecting the tears to fall, but when they did, I didn’t even have the drive to wipe them away. I was too shocked; too stunned. I was hurt; I was just…sad.
Sothisis why Aubrey had been smirking at me earlier…
I watched as Kenzie pulled a pile of wet wipes out of her purse and began cleaning the stained words off my locker door. And, even though they disappeared almost immediately when she swiped at them, they remained inked into my brain; they were on the forefront of my mind.
ATTENTION-HUNGRY WHORE
Was I really?
Was I a whore for falling in love with Gallan for absolutely no other reason but because of my heart and my feelings for him?
Was I a whore becausehechose me to be his?
Was I a whore for loving a man who was selfless and beautiful, and loved me for exactly who I am and how I make him feel?
Kenzie threw the wet wipes in the bin and walked over to me. She held my hands in hers and gave them a squeeze.
I braved looking into her eyes, and swallowed when my emotions thickened at the understanding I saw there. “He can’t know about–”
