He paused for a moment, and his face darkened.
“The assignment was an assassination, of a man living in Lucien not too far outside the Fortress.”
Assassination? Why would they give that to a Guardian? Assassinations were carried out by the Death Watchmen, and as far as the Prince knew, by them alone.
“As you’d guess, I was surprised, but as I was then I did not question it. If the Empress and my fellow Blade Masters believed the assignment important, then it was important. I was told that it was a matter of security for the Fortress, that this man had uncovered secrets that were dangerous to the Empire, and that the man himself was too dangerous for even the Death Watch to deal with. I did my job too well. I killed the man before he even knew I was there. Perhaps if I had let him speak, I would have realized my error sooner and prevented a tragedy.
“For weeks, something did not sit right with me. I was short-tempered, I became angry at the servants, I felt uneasy about my actions. So, using my newly acquired rank as Blade Master, I went and discovered the truth of the man’s crime.”
Pain and harshness entered his voice.
“It was no crime, not at all. Not to me at least.”
He gazed out over the fire into the memory of that day, reliving it there by the fireside. Deep lines of sorrow and regret settled over his face, and the Prince saw then the Blade Master that Tomaz had been, saw it in his empty stare, and his loss of laughter.
“I had sworn to protect the safety of the Empress, and through her the Empire and the stability of the Diamond Throne. I was perfectly suited to the role of a Guardian. And what was more, unlike many I was convinced of the rightness of the cause. The justice.”
He turned his head to look at the Prince.
“I was wrong. It was not justice that I performed, but injustice. The things I have seen, the things I have had explained to me that the Empress and the Children have done, that the Empire allows to happen…”
Words seemed to fail him, and the pain turned to anger. He took a breath and began again a different way.
“When I left the Fortress, I was detected and followed. I killed the men following me, and soon I was pursued by those who had once been my sworn brothers. For weeks, I fought my way across the Empire, running and hiding, only fighting when I needed to. In the end, I was found nearly dead by the Exiled Kindred. They took me in, hid me from the Empire. I didn’t join them at first; I was too blinded by my old prejudices. But soon I saw that what the Empire had claimed to be, the Kindred actually were. They kept me safe from the Order, which to this day maintains that I am dead. That I must be, for they failed to find me in the end.
“My name was taken from me during the flight. The Empress renounced me, and it was then that I almost gave up and lost hope. I still cannot remember myself as that person, for, as you know, once a name is taken, no one can remember it much less say it. But in the end, once enough time had passed, Itook a new name, one that I chose for myself. I chose a new name, and I chose a new path, not one that I was selected for, but one I selected for myself.”
His gaze turned to the Prince.
“You are freed from the Children and the Empress. It is your choice what to do now. Your choice, and yours alone.”
It was a long time before the Prince spoke.
“You speak as if I am no longer one of the Children.”
“I do,” was the response. Simple as it was, it spoke volumes.
“They are my family,” he whispered.
“Your family,” Tomaz responded, “in name and blood alone. They have severed their ties with you, regardless of your wishes. And now you are free to choose your own life, to choose your own family. To choose who and what you wish to be.”
The Prince remained silent for a long moment, and then seated himself by the fireside next to Leah’s sleeping form. Her words came back to him.
“Not with this curse around my neck,” he said quietly, fingering the black marks over his shoulders through the cotton of his shirt.
“It is only a curse if you believe it to be,” the big man rumbled. He rose to his feet, circled the fire, and draped one of the extra blankets over the Prince’s shoulders. The ex-Blade Master’s rough hands were surprisingly gentle.
“Now sleep,” he said. “We have a long day ahead of us. I will wake you when we need to leave.”
“I thought you said I was free to make my own choices,” the Prince said.
Tomaz smiled wryly. “Only when I say you can.”
The Prince sat staring into the fire for a time, his mind turning over the conversation and the Exile’s story, as Tomaz settled himself once more.
“Free,” he whispered to himself.
His mind returned to his daydreams in the Fortress, where he had imagined what it would be like to go to the places where the sun shone and the wind blew. Where things were green and water flowed in rivers.
