“And why not?”
“He’s controlling.”
My eyebrows rose.“How do you know?”
“I got to know him enough that I didn’t like what I saw.”
“Sometimes people only show one side and not the other.He was a nice guy.”
“Maybe it’s an act.”
“Then I guess we’re all performing the greatest play of all.”The wine soothed my nerves.“I see what you’re saying.He can be arrogant, but he’s a beta who ran a pack for years, so he’s got the personality of a leader.Duty shaped him that way… among other things.”
“Then what’s the issue?”He turned while drying a glass.
One thing I liked about my relationship with Lucian was the honesty.“Deacon’s the ideal candidate in every way, but…”
“But?”
My shoulders sagged.“We have no chemistry.Nothing.”
Lucian slowed his drying.“As in… physical?”
“It’s nonexistent.I hoped finding chemistry would make the decision easier, but I guess you can’t have it all.”
“Maybe cats and dogs don’t mix.You should look for another tiger.”
I stared into my wineglass.“There are only a few around here, and they’re not worth my time.Icouldgo to another city, but that means moving.This is my home, and I’m not giving up all this for a man.Anyhow, the wolf thing doesn’t matter.He’s a predator, and that’s a core trait I understand.”I drank more wine, wishing it could erase all the doubt weighing on me.
“Sounds like you’re trying to talk yourself into it again.”
“Maybe I am.He’s at the top of the list.My other dates had qualities I simply won’t accept.They were abhorrent men, and after looking at their records, one of them had a history of beating his wife.”
A wicked smile wound up Lucian’s face.“You ran background checks?”
“Welcome to twenty-first-century dating.Anyhow, I can’t worry about little things like chemistry or personality.If I find a suitable mate, I can negotiate our terms.”
“Sounds like war.”
I raised my glass.“Love is a battlefield.”
After my final swallow, he collected my empty glass to wash.
“Why does your dad need oxygen tanks?”
I placed my earrings in a small bowl where I put jewelry while cooking.“He was a smoker for years and years.People don’t realize that even though we can’t get cancer, it still affects us, especially the older you get.Older people don’t shift as often, so they don’t heal.I guess it damaged his lungs and made it harder for him to breathe.”
After cleaning the glass, Lucian set it in the drying rack and turned around.“That’s a really shitty hand he was dealt.Nobody should struggle to breathe.”
“I wish there was a magic cure, but he’s seen the best Relics.It’s not just his lungs.He’s one of the oldest Shifters I’ve ever known.I guess the body’s not meant to last forever.”
Lucian dried his hands with a checkered towel, his bruised eye holding my attention.“You’re lucky you’ve had him this long.Not everyone gets that with a parent.”
The inflection changed in his voice.He must have been thinking about his poor mother.“I don’t take a day for granted—the goodorthe bad.Nobody prepares you for taking care of your parents.It’s draining, and sometimes I get overwhelmed and wish I didn’t carry all this responsibility and guilt, but that’s what we do when we love someone.”
“You’re allowed to feel all that.”
“Thanks.I wouldn’t trade it for the world, but it’s just me, and that makes it harder with a full-time job.”
