One thing was for sure: He’d never be able to look Eden in the eye again.
Lucian let go of the black curtain and rubbed his face.It was true: His kindred spirit had rejected him.If he wasn’t good enough for his soulmate, he wasn’t good enough for anyone.
That truth had eaten away at him for years.Moving to Texas and joining a pack had been a refreshing distraction, but when his pack started finding mates, that empty crevice in his heart widened like a canyon.Painful memories were now resurfacing, and it had everything to do with Deacon entering the picture.
Lucian stared at his glass of water and wished it was alcohol, but even that wouldn’t be enough to dull the ache.He felt raw and exposed like a nerve, and Deacon’s boisterous laugh across the room plucked that nerve like a harp.
Fifteen years ago, Lucian encountered Mae in a Chinese restaurant.She was a statuesque blonde with pale yellow eyes, unnaturally tan skin, and the loudest laugh, which made heads turn.The annoying disruptions kept drawing his attention to her table, and he had almost walked out.She was pretty by Chitah standards, but her looks hadn’t especially caught his eye.It wasn’t until she passed by him on her way to the restroom that he caught her scent.
That was it.He knew.
Chitah males knew their kindred immediately.Their body reacted to her scent.Had she not disappeared into the restroom so quickly, he might’ve gotten up and uncontrollably marked her.Instead, he stood patiently by his table and waited for her return.Lucian hadn’t planned what he would say, so when she walked by him again, he blocked her and blurted out, “You’re my kindred.”
Not exactly the smoothest move.
He remembered how her eyes widened like saucers and she shook her head.Despite her disbelief, the connection on his end was palpable, like a rope pulling him home.It wasn’t until she scented his powerful emotions that she knew he was speaking the truth, and the first words she ever said to him were “Leave me alone.I already have a mate.”
Lucian didn’t give up.He found out where she lived and called her several times.All he wanted was to sit and have a conversation—to find out how serious she was with that other male.He even approached the elders and was granted two weeks to court her, which was allowed if the female was already mated.It gave everyone closure.Chitahs settled all the time and not always for love.Sometimes they just got tired of waiting around for their soulmate to appear.Lucian felt like slime for going to that extreme, but he sincerely thought he could win her love in that time period.
He had done everything to prove his worth, but in the end, she chose her mate.He was glad that he’d at least had that brief time with her.Now he wouldn’t spend the rest of his life wondering if she could’ve loved him back.He tried, and it wasn’t meant to be.While they’d had nothing in common, it didn’t erase his feelings for someone he barely knew.
Lucian never told his family.The worst thing that could happen to a Chitah was to court his kindred spirit, only to be rejected.
Three years ago, he spotted her on the street with her young.He watched her mate holding the youngest baby, and all he could think was:That could’ve been me.
Living in the same city with her became unbearable.His stomach clenched at every turn and when he entered a restaurant.Would he bump into her again?Would she ignore him?Would his soul shatter into nothingness?
He must have been such a disappointment.Had he not been a defect, would she have chosen him?Lucian wondered what Mae told her friends and family about him, if anything.They probably assured her she was better off.
They were right.
The music switched to something slow and depressing, and he sipped his water, pretending it was vodka.
“Are you sure you don’t want a real drink?”Krys asked before sitting back down.
“I’m the designated driver.”
Krys snorted.“The hell you are.Nobody drives my bike except me.Besides, I don’t drive drunk.It takes a lot more than this to get me buzzed.”He sipped his drink and then sat back.“Everybody’s got baby fever in the house.”
“Yep.”
Krys chuckled.“That Violet is a riot.I caught her wolf chewing on Lakota’s shoe last night.Gnawed a hole right through it.”
Shifter wolves didn’t normally go through teething since they were fully grown after their first change, but since Violet had been able to shift since birth, it was a challenge.
Krys’s ring clinked against his glass.“Keep your shoes off the floor is all I’m sayin’.”
Lucian pulled back the curtain just enough to see what Deacon and Eden were doing.The musclehead was holding up an empty wineglass and snapping his fingers at a busy server.
“Have you thought about taking a job?”Lucian rested his arms on the table.“I could use an assistant.”
Krys shook his head.“I don’t have the patience for that kind of shit.Atticus mentioned he needs a couple of bouncers at the club, so I’m thinking about it.Tak keeps putting me on projects around the property.Maybe I’ll go into housecleaning.”
Lucian flicked his eyes up.“What?”
“I’ve had offers,” he said with a throaty growl.“All kindsof unusual offers.What do you expect in a small town?”
“Whatever floats your boat.”
