“Doyouwant kids?”
Lucian rose up on his elbow and looked down at me in the darkness.While I could only see him between flashes of lightning, I knew he could see me perfectly with his Chitah vision.
“I don’t know,” he admitted.
“Me either.My mother left me.I’m afraid I’d do the same.”
“I doubt it.”
I turned onto my back.“How can you be so sure?”
“Because you know what that pain feels like.”
I sighed and listened to the rain tapping against the window.“I haven’t felt the desire to have children.Some people can’t imagine a life without them, but I’ve never given kids a second thought.If you feel strongly about it, you need to take that into consideration.I won’t be forced into motherhood if it’s not something I want, so we need to have this conversation now.If, deep down, you want them, you need a mate who’s more certain.”
Lucian stroked my cheek with his thumb.“I’m not certain any more than you are.I’ve never had the desire either.If we did have any, their gifts would probably be canceled out.I know what it’s like to be treated differently.How could I do that to a child?”
“Did you ever ask your mother that?I’m sure she told you that your life isn’t any less valuable than anyone else’s.”
He gave a thoughtful sigh.“I wouldn’t be against kids, but I’d be a disappointment to them.”
“You would not.”I gripped his hand.
“I’m okay with helping raise the kids in the pack.But if your father wants you to mate, he’s probably hoping for grandkids.”
“Well, that’s one thing he doesn’t get any say over.Are you sure this is what you want?You just got out of jail, and most people aren’t thinking rationally on their first day out.After a good night’s rest, you might feel different in the morning.”
“Are you trying to talk me out of this?”
“Maybe I care about your life.”
“Without you, it means nothing.I can be the male you need, but it’ll take time.”
I frowned.“Time for what?”
“To change my career.To make enough money and figure out how to be more social and likable.”
A laugh bubbled out of my throat.“If you want to do something else with your life, that’s your choice.But don’t you dare change your personality.I love the quiet man who growls whenever I capture one of his checker pieces.And your bank account doesn’t interest me.”
“Good.Then I’ll just be a bum.”
I laughed and lightly scratched his nape.“If you win this battle, you have to promise never to leave me.”
“Why would I leave you?”
Pain lanced through my heart.What if his kindred spirit left her mate one day and decided to give Lucian a second chance?“Because someone else might come along—someone you’ll want more.”
“Are you kidding me right now?”He rolled on top of me, his hips nestled against mine.I felt a reminder of his unwavering desire.“If anyone in this scenario has something to worry about, it’s me.What if some tall, dark, and handsome tiger prances into town in an Armani suit, and you instantly regret settling for a Chitah?”
“Prances?”I laughed quietly while tracing my finger over his Adam’s apple.“Lucian, I’ve met all kinds of men.Handsome, wealthy socialites.Even that wasn’t enough for me to choose a partner.Henry’s more powerful than Deacon, but the only reason I might have settled for Deacon is that he had a pack.Living in a family unit isn’t something I’ve ever done, and being around your pack is so easy.I can imagine a life in a busy home.But you’re the only man my heart has ever belonged to.We’re dissimilar, but we also have a lot in common.Maybe we balance each other out because we’re on the opposite ends of the spectrum.Don’t you feel that?”
He pressed his forehead to mine.“Yeah, I feel that.”
“The only thing that scares me is how smart you are.”
“What do you mean?”
“Your plan with Henry might work, but if it doesn’t, it could cost you everything.”
