“Technology can overwhelm a person. Phones and computers are only a small part of it.” He rolled up the sleeves of his Henley. “Some changes are easier than others. Air-conditioning makes no difference to me, nor do elevators since I don’t tire. But I enjoy the radio. No need for a live band in your home.”
I smiled while reaching for the cheese. “Music is the soul’s reflection.”
Still chewing, he said, “Music might predate language, when primitive man beat sticks against rocks.”
“Some still do,” I quipped.
When he chuckled, tiny laugh lines appeared at the corners of his eyes. His eyes were once ominous and powerful to me, but now I found them filled with kindness and life.
We quietly ate together, and it was peaceful to sit with my thoughts. Atticus never engaged in frivolous conversation for the sake of filling the silence. Even the small things we discussed had meaning.
“Vampires can’t turn Shifters,” I said, stating what he already knew. “I’ll always be a wolf. That means I’ll get old one day and die. Granted, it might be in five hundred or even a thousand years, but you’ll live forever. Have you thought about that?”
He reached across the table and clasped my hand in his. “Time is shorter when you see it in terms of numbers. When you stop thinking about days, weeks, years, and centuries, you start thinking about moments. Like this one. Stay in the moment with me.” Atticus tenderly stroked my knuckles with the pad of his thumb. “Neither of us have any control over the future. Vampires are only immortal because we don’t age, but someone could take my head or burn me.”
“Don’t say such awful things.”
“All I mean to say is that life isn’t guaranteed for anyone. I can promise you this: should I live longer, your child and their descendants will have my protection. I’ll be their family, and I’ll tell them of their grandmother’s kind heart, her talent for knitting, her patience and generosity, her radiant beauty, her sacrifice. I’ll leave nothing out, including how ticklish your feet are and how you sing ‘Pop Goes the Weasel’ while you’re in the bathroom.”
I erupted with a flurry of laughter. “Don’t you dare! I only sang that because I didn’t want you to hear me.”
He held his smile. “I selectively mute sounds to give people privacy.”
“Ifthatwere true, you wouldn’t have heard me singing.”
Atticus smiled sheepishly. “You’re an old soul who’s young at heart.”
“Some souls at this table are older than others. I must be a child in your eyes.”
He hooked his arm over the back of his chair. “Chitahs are born with kindred spirits, and I’ve heard Shifters make similar comparisons to life mates. They say it feels as if they’re bondedto that person. Some can even sense when they’re in mortal danger. Melody’s old pack used to talk about having found their life mates, but I was always skeptical. Is that what you believe?”
After swallowing my apple, I wiped my fingers on a napkin. “Maybe. Most Shifters I’ve known in the past didn’t refer to their partners as life mates. I suppose some just settle for the person they love.”
“Do you think that’s enough?”
Was he afraid if we mated, my life mate would come along and steal my heart? “Well, if life mates are real—and my packmates claim they are—does that mean we automatically love them? With Chitahs, not all kindred spirits are compatible. Life changes you, and not always in a good way. So yes, maybe love is enough. Maybe it’s better.”
“If there’s truth to life mates, it means you’re born to be someone’s destiny.”
“Why does that bother you?”
“Vampires aren’t born; they’re made. That would mean we have no destiny.”
“Is that what you believe?”
Frowning, he studied the floor as if solving a problem in his head. “The moment I laid eyes on you, I got this feeling.”
I set down my cheese cube. “What feeling?”
His eyebrows gathered in confusion. “As if everything that’s happened in the existence of the universe led me to the moment our eyes met. You can’t fathom how deeply it pained me to know that you were taken. In that moment, I realized that a wretched Vampire has no fate.” He lifted his gaze to meet mine. “You were afraid of me.”
Suddenly it made sense. For him it was love at first sight. But for me it was fear. That left him doubtful that we could be destined—that we could be unconventional life mates.
“I didn’t know you, Atticus. Do you think that negates your feelings? Hope and Tak claim to be life mates, but it wasn’t love at first sight. In fact, it wasn’t like that for Mercy either. Maybe women don’t fall as fast because we know how much it hurts.”
He rested his arms on the table. “Could you love a man like me?”
I already did. It strengthened with every conversation, every shared glance, every kiss. But it didn’t feel right to pour my heart out over a plate of cheese and apples. I also wanted to make sure this could be a healthy relationship, one I could thrive in—one my baby could thrive in. My head and heart needed to be aligned.
