He stared at his extended hand. “I’ll never let any man hurt you again. I promise you that.”
And for whatever reason, I trusted him. Maybe my spirit animal was awake in there and guiding me with her instincts, but Archer had never given me a reason not to trust him.
I drew in a breath. “If you breathe a word of this to anyone—if you betray me, I’ll leave. You can’t force me to stay here.”
Archer retracted his hand. “On my honor, what little there is of it, I’ll never break your trust. If I do, you can cut off my other arm.”
I jerked back. “Don’t say such a thing. I’d never wish anything so cruel.”
Thunder rumbled, shaking the dishes in the overhead cabinets.
This was a leap of faith, so I crossed my fingers and hoped my instincts about Archer were better than with Noah. “The first year Noah and I were together, I went into heat. We had sex once, but since he didn’t want kids, he avoided me until it was over. It’s not a sure thing if you just do it once, so I didn’t think anything when I didn’t get pregnant. The next year when I went into heat, he couldn’t control himself. He wanted me constantly, and I couldn’t resist. You know how it is.” I chewed my lip, feeling my cheeks heat with embarrassment. “I didn’t get pregnant that time either. When we moved here, Noah took me to see Milly since she was the only female Relic in the area. She ran some tests and found out that I can’t have children. I still go into heat, but the eggs aren’t viable. She did some advanced testingthat I didn’t understand and said my condition wasn’t common.”
Archer got up and walked around the table. When he knelt, he touched my arm. “I’m so sorry,” he said in earnest, his eyes on mine. “I’m sorry you can’t have children.”
My lip quivered unexpectedly. I’d come to accept the hard truth, but no one had ever offered me their condolences. All I could do was shrug.
He finally got up and entered the kitchen, but I caught him wiping his eye.
Probably just an eyelash or the rain, I thought.
Waving two packages, he said, “Aha. I found cocoa. Do you like cocoa?”
“Who doesn’t?”
“Why don’t you sit on the couch and I’ll bring you a cup? Cocoa makes everything better.”
The chair was killing my back anyhow, so I padded over to the grey sectional and curled up in the corner where they adjoined.
After a few beeps of the microwave, Archer returned with a cup and then sat across from me on the chaise sofa at the other end.
I sipped the hot drink, thinking how Noah had always crowded me and was in my face. At least until he decided to cut off his affections and ignore me. It was nice how Archer gave me space and hadn’t talked over me when I was telling the story.
I set my mug in my lap. “The night you and I met, I felt my heat cycle coming on. That’s when I took the keys to his car and sped off before he could pick up my scent. The plan was to leave him. I packed a small bag and imagined myself driving all the way to Vegas. But how far could no money and less than a quarter tank of gas get me? So I drove in circles and then parked for a while.”
“Why didn’t you go back home?”
“I was afraid… I was afraid that I would want him—that mybodywould want him—and I wouldn’t be able to resist. That would have been unimaginable. For me to have sex with him after he hit me—that would betray my own feelings. Heat makes you do crazy things. That’s the reason I left.”
With his arm propped on the back pillow cushion and his head in his hand, Archer nodded, probably remembering the events of that night and putting the pieces together. “We were both drunk in different ways.”
After sipping the cocoa, I said, “No mate will ever trust me after I tell him that story. He’ll always be paranoid that I’ll cheat because of my hormones, but that’s not the only reason I slept with you.” I waited until Archer looked into my eyes to finish. “I wanted to know what it would be like with another man. Noah drove me away that night, and I wondered if someone else could treat me better.”
“Someone will,” he said, inviting no argument.
“I went back to him because there was nowhere to go and because I loved him,” I admitted. “But mostly because I’m afraid of all the terrible things that could happen if anyone finds out I can’t get pregnant while in heat.”
Archer leaned in like he was about to deliver bad news. “It’s true. You need to keep that a secret. Some women have trouble carrying the pregnancy to term, but I’ve rarely heard of a Shifter being infertile and still going through heat. I’m not even sure I’d tell the girls, Cici. There are evil people out there who… well, I guess Noah probably scared you enough. I’m not using that to hold you here, though. Wherever you go in life, just guard yourself.”
I nodded, appreciating his candor.
While rubbing his eye, he said, “I feel like a shithead.”
“Why?”
“Because I should have sensed something was wrong that night. I should have asked if you were okay.”
“We were strangers.” My gaze lowered to the chocolate inside my cup. “It wouldn’t have made a difference.”
