“Only you ask me this.”
“I’m not the only one who cares.”
“Spasibo.”
She let the silence stretch too long. “Can I ask why you loved a Vampire?”
Viktor sighed. “I did not love. I trusted. I confided in.”
“I just… I always thought you’d want a wolf as a mate. Someone you could start a family with someday.”
Viktor stroked his silver beard, his features so distinguished and handsome. “I love children, but I do not want them. Few women would understand this.”
He was right. Shifters had strong primal urges to procreate.
“There might be a woman out there who’s too old to have them or who doesn’t want them herself.”
“Perhaps. Common interest alone does not make a match.” He pinched his chin, still not looking at her. “My family is gone. All of them. I am the last of my line. There is selfish part of me that would only want a child to carry on the family name, but what kind of life is this for a child? They will have no pack. No brothers and sisters. No aunts and uncles. No Packmaster. That is the heart and soul of a wolf. Even if I left Keystone, I have made far too many enemies. Far too many.”
Blue didn’t see an empty glass by his chair. Normally Viktor only revealed details about his past after a few glasses of vodka or wine. Tonight he was sober.
“I understand,” she said, her only desire being to figure him out, not to change him. “Losing a child is unfathomable. You can live a fulfilled life, but there’s no greater loss. I watched both my sons die in front of me. I will never mate again.”
“And your tribe? Do you not feel a desire to return?”
Blue shook her head adamantly. “I once chose a life to please others and make peace, and all it brought was bloodshed. I hold too much contempt for my father. My tribe—they were good people. Both the one I was born in and the one I mated to. Loving people. Kind. Family oriented. But there was too much bad blood between leaders that drove a wedge between the tribes. Fate locked me between two headstrong men who couldn’t put aside their differences. Sometimes I wonder…”
Viktor sat forward and leaned in, his attention solely on her.
“Sometimes I wonder if it’s possible for a man to cherish life as much as a woman who’s given it. Losing a child to violence rips a hole in your being. You were the first person who came along and gave me a purpose—who showed me how I could live a life of servitude by helping the innocent.” Blue turned her head away, concealing a surge of unexpected emotions that she didn’t want Viktor to see. “You never make selfish choices, and you always put others first. I would follow you to the ends of the earth.”
Viktor got up, and for a moment she thought she had shared too much. When he knelt in front of her and took her hands in his, she felt kindness in his touch. Viktor understood her loss and her choices. Even Matteo—the Chitah who’d shown up to Keystone to court her—couldn’t relate. While he had lost family, he still wanted that life. For Blue, that was a door closed.
Viktor bowed his head, pressing his forehead to her hand. “A mother should never see such things.”
Tears streamed down her cheeks.
She sniffed and blinked away the tears caught in her lashes. “They suffered needlessly, but they have a greater destiny to fulfill. The fates would never take children unless they were called to something better. Regardless, I will never forgive the men who put their pride first. They shamed their ancestors and betrayed their family.”
Viktor looked up and brushed his thumb across her cheek, wiping away the tears. “That loss makes it easier to do this job. Family complicates matters. I often wonder how long Shepherd will stay with us. For now the boy is protected. But he has been in danger more than once.” Viktor sighed. “Would you ever leave Keystone to start over?”
“No.” Blue shook her head slowly, feeling the truth of it. “I have a different path to walk. I’m not the same woman anymore, and I never will be. Matteo offered me a second chance at family. I refused.”
Viktor’s eyebrows popped up in surprise.
Blue hadn’t revealed all the details about what had happened between her and Matteo. “I guess you thought he gave up on me or decided it wasn’t a good match. No, I was the one who sent him away. He wanted a mate and children. Interbreeding doesn’t always produce kids, so I’m sure he would have adopted some. He thought I could erase his pain and fill that hole in his life. He simply didn’t understand my choice.”
Viktor patted her hand. “Not many will. Perhaps now you understand why a Vampire was not such a strange choice. They cannot have children, and most do not cling to the frivolous notion of love. It was companionship and a strong match of equals.”
Blue tipped her head to the side. “She was never your equal.”
Confiding in Viktor meant the world. Blue respected him as a mentor and a shining example of what she might one day become. Seeing his pain didn’t make him weak; it validated her own.
“Some of us are meant for greater things,” he said. “There are people who will never understand the choices we make.”
“I don’t want to be a replacement for someone’s lost dreams. I’m severely scarred, so my options are limited. I know I could still find a mate, but let’s be real: the Keystone life expectancy is shorter than most. You’ve given me opportunities, Viktor. Even more, you inspire me. I was afraid that when Lenore came along, you might leave us to make a new life.” Blue put her hand over his. “I know you have big dreams, and I want to be a part of those dreams.”
In the firelight, Viktor kept his eyes trained on hers. They were steel grey, seasoned with centuries of hardship, loss, laughter, and courage. Those eyes could envisage a better world, and they saw the best in people—the best in her. Even in a time when she once thought she had nothing to give. Blue had so much admiration for him. Viktor had changed her mind, proving that not all leaders were selfish. That it was possible to lead with integrity, honor, and compassion.
