My heart raced at a frantic beat, and I wrung my hands. How had he been able to keep this from me? I tried to piece it together. “Is this where you come when you disappear at night? Or when you take off at random times?”
“Aye.”
I thought about all those nights. I’d always assumed he was going to a bar or enjoying a long drive on his bike. I remembered Lenore’s party when we needed a place to lie low and how Christian was quick to reject this place as a temporary refuge.
No wonder.We would have walked in and found my Creator chained to the wall.
My eyes settled on a trunk a few feet in front of me, and I realized this was where Christian had come to change clothes back when we were staying at the Flamingo Hotel.
So many secrets.
I flicked my eyes back to his. “Were you feeding off him?”
“I don’t deny that I once had a blood addiction, but that was Lenore’s blood. I didn’t drink from every bloodbag on the streets. I won’t deny that I indulged in the occasional drink, but that can be said for all Vampires. That wasn’t why I brought him here.”
I wiped my hand over my face, still in disbelief. “Fletcher was here? This whole time? You had him?”
He stood with his head down. “Aye.”
Incensed, I shot up and cut around him. All the trauma resurfacing was pulling me under like quicksand. Tears welled in my eyes when I looked at the chains and remembered all the horrible things I endured—the humiliation Fletcher inflicted on me and reveled in. “Why didn’t you tell me!”
“Because you weren’t ready. You were having nightmares. I wanted to give him to you, but not before he paid for all the pain and suffering he put you through. And then you were getting better, and I was afraid that giving him to you would make you suffer all over again. So I kept him here.”
I wiped my eyes with the heels of my hands. “Where is he?”
“I don’t know.”
I spun around and erased the distance between us. “What do you mean you don’t know?”
“Has it crossed your mind why I might have been missing for two days? I’d never go that long without telling you first. When I came here, the chains were broken, and he was nowhere to be found. I’ve been searching day and night, thinking he might be hiding somewhere in the woods.” Christian pinched his chin and averted his eyes. “I can’t see how he would have gotten far. He was emaciated and weak. I suspect he escaped before the snow since there weren’t any tracks to follow. I’ve been walking these woods for days. When I heard your truck coming, I knew I’d have explaining to do.”
I was only half listening since my brain was spinning. “You’ve had him for over a year?” I pounded my fists against his chest.“A year?”
“And I would have kept him for longer.” Christian snared my wrists in his hands and lowered my arms. “Do you remember the vow I made? I’ve kept him here, delivering the same neglect, the same torture and humiliation that he put upon you.”
“No. Not the same.” I jerked my arms free. “You lied to me.”
“I never lied. I just never told you.”
“You had no right… I—” My speech faltered as I tried to take it all in. Fletcher haunted my dreams, and I wasn’t certain I’d ever be over what he’d done to me. I couldn’t fathom what might have happened had I walked in and found him here. Would I have cowered? Would I have tortured or killed him? Even I didn’t know.
In the dim candlelight, Christian took a deep breath and looked upward, his body rigid. “I never wanted it to happen this way. I never meant to hurt you.” He stalked to the table and rested his palms on it. “If you don’t understand what I’ve done, that’s something I can live with. The horrors he put you through will never leave my mind any more than they’ll leave yours. If violence is the only means to ease your suffering, then I would gladly have tortured him for another century.” Christian slammed his fist on the table, cracking it down the center. “I’llnotapologize!”
“I never asked for an apology. I only wanted to trust you.”
He rushed toward me and gripped my shoulders. “Don’t you understand? Youcan. Everything I did was to protect you. If I turned him in, they would have learned about your creation. Do you know what they do to rogues like you? Viktor might have pleaded on your behalf, but the higher authority would have handed you over to the Mageri. And if they looked at your history of murder, they could have deemed you unfit for immortality. I’ve seen it happen, Raven. They execute those they perceive as a threat. You work for Keystone, but doing what? Murder, that’s what. They won’t look kindly on your situation.” Christian caressed my arms as he lowered his hands. “I almost killed him. Then… something dark possessed me. I wanted him to suffer.”
Dizzy, I made my way back to the chair. My energy was starting to spiral, and I had to level it down before I passed out. “I need to sit.”
When I did, Christian got on both knees and rested his arms on my lap. His bottomless eyes stared up at mine, summoning goose bumps on my arms. “I would tear down the world for you.”
I wiped my face dry, feeling a sense of calm coming over me. “I’m tired of this bullshit. You’ve been keeping secrets, and I’ve been keeping secrets. We promised we wouldn’t do that. I don’t care about the little things, but this has to stop now. We both need to come clean. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because if I go down for this, I go alone. This was my vengeance, not yours. What do you think would happen if someone found out you were involved in his death? He’s your Creator.”
“Itshouldbe my vengeance.”
“I vowed I would slay anyone who harmed you, and I meant it. Fletcher is an abomination. He doesn’t deserve to breathe, so I made him breathe every day to remember the suffering he put you through. I unleashed my fury upon him every chance I had. Lashings, beatings, and when it went too far, I’d give him just enough blood to survive. I’ve starved him, kept him in the cold and heat. I’m in too deep, Raven. If the Vampire elders or higher authority find out what I’ve done, that’ll be the end of me. The Mageri could take his criminal history into account, but they’ve always protected their own. They’ll see to my death.”
