I stepped back and snatched the blanket from beneath the man’s hips. The force caused him to roll off the table and hit the floor.
Christian grimaced. “That’s gonna leave a mark.”
“Put on his pants.”
“Fecking not.”
“You’re being a fanghole. Now put on the pants.”
Christian folded his arms. “I refuse.”
“I don’t know,” a woman said from the hallway, her voice growing distant. “He was transporting a patient the last I saw him.”
The time it would take to put pants on Christian wasn’t worth it. I wrapped the blanket around his waist and shoved him into the wheelchair. I nervously peered into the hall and waited until it was clear.
Had I any idea where a stairwell was, we would have gone that route. This place was a maze, and I jogged like the wind toward the elevators.
“Hold it!” a man shouted.
I beat my hand on the elevator buttons.
When the man briskly rounded the corner to confront us, Christian rose from his seat. “You’re a wee little poodle,” he said, rounding his eyes at the bearded man, “aren’t you?”
The worker got on all fours and barked at us.
Christian sat down, pulling the blanket onto his lap.
Once inside the elevator, another thought came to mind. “Do you have my keys?”
“Aye.”
“Where?”
“In my jacket.” He reached behind him and pushed buttons randomly. “Can’t remember where I left it, but my phone is in my underpants. Ran out of pockets.”
We couldn’t afford to lose our phones. I reached inside his underwear and retrieved his phone.
“Mmm, that feels nice,” he said.
The phone went inside my jacket pocket. “So help me, Poe, if I find one pubic hair in my coat, I’m rolling you into traffic.”
“Now that’s a tragedy. I had grander expectations for my demise.”
When we reached the lobby, I walked him out backward. “The airport’s nearby. How about I tie you to the landing gear of a transatlantic flight?”
“That’s my girl.”
While Celine Dion’s “My Heart Will Go On” played on the lobby speakers, I steered Christian’s wheelchair to where I’d left my father.
I found his empty chair by the pillar. “Crush!”
Christian chortled. “I can’t wait to see what happens next.”
I stepped in front of Christian’s chair and wiped his bloodstained face. Seeing people banged up and bloody in a hospital wasn’t out of the norm. “Stay here.”
“What do I get in return?”
“You get to keep both your eyeballs. How’s that?”
