Christian pinched his lower lip. “I only regret I don’t have one of those infernal portable radios. I need to block their hearing.”
“I’m sure you’ll think of something.”
When Christian noticed the time, he fired up the engine and rolled down the street. As he turned up Lenore’s driveway, Niko opened the door and hopped out. The fella had a knack for learning every place he visited, as if he knew he might someday have to sneak in and slaughter a few Vampires.
Christian turned up the radio, rolled down the windows, and parked by the front entrance. When he got out, he left the music blaring to create background noise. After rapping his knuckles on the door, Christian coolly walked inside.
The putrid smell of dead bodies made his stomach turn. “For feck’s sake, who forgot the potpourri?”
A buff Vampire in a white dress shirt and black trousers stalked toward him. “Stop right there.”
“Easy, Hercules. I’m here on business.”
The man noticed Christian’s hands and attire, no doubt assessing he wasn’t a guest of Lenore’s party. “You can’t be here.”
“But here I am.”
Hercules closed his meaty fist.
Playing it cool, Christian smacked on his gum and raised his voice an octave. “By the smell of things, I think you need me more than I need you. I’ve got other customers waiting in line.” When confusion sparked on the man’s face, Christian held up one finger and said, “Wait, this is my favorite part of the song.”
When the music hit the chorus, Christian belted out the lyrics to “We Will Rock You” while stomping and clapping his hands.
Thank the heavenly angels that Raven was not there to see him behaving like a madman, but Christian had to distract the Vampire while Niko crept upstairs.
Christian finally winked at him and put his hands on his hips. “So, are you going to show me all the bodies, or is this a game of hide-and-seek?” He turned around and made a sharp whistle with his fingers. “I swear, my team gets lost every time. You drive too slow and you wind up stuck at the lights.” He turned and gave the hulky Vampire an exasperated look. “Jaysus wept. I’m the cleaner. I’m here to collect the bodies. A Mr. Godfrey Sparrow put in the order.”
The Vampire blinked. “Nobody told me about this.”
“Let’s just see what we have here.” Christian swaggered past him and immediately noticed bodies missing their heads. It looked like someone had kicked them into the next room where a woman’s body lay. “You couldn’t bother to call me a few hours after the incident? You had to waitfour days? Do you know what happens to the human body postmortem after this long? Aside from your fly collection, the remains putrefy. Liquids ooze out of orifices that you don’t even want to know about. And let’s not mention what’s happening to the organs. That stain will never come out of that rug. Do you have a friend who can help? If so, I suggest you fetch them.”
“Isn’t that what your crew gets paid for?”
“Aye, but Mr. Sparrow didn’t pay the cost for hauling furniture or carpeting. He only arranged for body disposal. You’ll have to move the rugs out yourself. We can take them if you like, but you’ll have to load them onto the truck.” Christian glowered. “Once it gets here. That’s what I get for hiring Shifters with an appetite. I’ll bet my left arm they stopped off at that chicken place down the road.”
“I need to call my boss.”
“Your choice.” Christian turned to leave. “I have customers waiting and no time to quibble over who approved the order. But I appreciate the tour. If the stench gets unbearable, might I suggest taking them into the master bedroom and tucking them under the covers? Have a nice day. Hope your boss doesn’t strike you dead. We’re all booked up this time of year.”
Christian strolled out the door, somewhat tempted to leave. He liked the idea of them piling the dead bodies in Lenore’s bed. As he rounded the car to the driver’s side, the man jogged out.
“Wait! How long will this take?”
Christian tapped his hand on the roof to the beat of another song. “My crew is running behind. How many helping hands you got in there? If we drag them outside, I’ll have this house sparkling in fifteen minutes.”
“And the smell?”
“Crack a window. That odor won’t be coming out for a while.” He walked up the wide steps to the entrance. “If you’re gonna help, you might want to strip out of those clothes. Unless you have another pair of clean trousers on hand, you don’t want your clothes smelling like decaying flesh.”
Christian headed to the statues and noticed one of them was broken. He picked up a piece from the floor and recognized the missing body part. This charade had gone on long enough. Niko had to be upstairs by now.
“You want them on the driveway or the porch?” the man asked.
When Christian pivoted, he almost choked on his gum. The brawny Vampire stood there in white underpants and socks. Now that this numpty had failed the intelligence test, Christian only had to worry about his fighting skills. Bigger didn’t mean stronger when it came to Vampires.
“Well, aren’t you a strapping young lad?” He approached and tossed him the statue’s penis. “Lose something?”
When the man looked in his hand, Christian surged forward and shoved him clear across the room. Hercules smashed into an archway. That forceful blow had knocked many Vampires unconscious in Christian’s experience, but not this one. This dolt was probably new and freshly plucked from a gym.
