“I’m still that same person.”
“No, you’re not. You’re a better version. When we first met, you were ruthless. That’s what Viktor wanted. But you’ve learned how to work with a team and take orders. That’s not an easy acclimation for people like us. Even as a guard, I made my own decisions if I felt my client was in danger. Sometimes that went against his or her wishes. You’ve made great strides in the short amount of time you’ve been with Keystone, but there’s something you must be careful not to lose.”
“What’s that?”
“Your savage soul. That raw Vampire instinct you have is what’ll keep you alive. You can’t have empathy for the enemy. Not in this world. If you don’t stop these criminals now, every soul they harm for hundreds or thousands of years will be on your conscience.”
“It’s easier when I can taste their sins through light or blood. Or when we’re fighting. But cutting off their heads while they just lay there helpless felt like… cold-blooded murder.”
“Do you think a spider reflects on the fly wiggling in its web?”
“Until you see silk shooting out of my ass, I’m not a spider. I don’t have to drink these men to survive. I used to think you could kill a Vampire by staking them, so beheadings weren’t in my repertoire. Killing other Breeds is a cinch, but beheading staked Vampires was nothing but a mass execution. Blue handled that part, but I need to learn. I botched the job on one guy I was fighting. Maybe I should’ve used both hands instead of swinging at him like a piñata. Anyhow, I don’t want that to hold me back, because one day it might kill me.”
“Aye,” he said, firelight dancing in his beautiful black eyes. “You’re a newly made Breed, so it’s a shocking sight. But it’s a preferred death for a Vampire over burning alive, so long as you learn the skills to do it quickly and cleanly. This is about protecting others from their wrath. You can’t be perfect from the start. None of us are. We all have our skill sets, but the fact we’re having this conversation shows that you recognize your weaknesses and want to improve.”
“Do you know your weaknesses?”
He steered his gaze up. “I suppose I have a temper and hold grudges. If someone crosses me, they’ll be seeing my face again.” Christian gave me a long look. “Is that all that’s on your mind?”
“I haven’t had a cohesive thought all day. My thoughts keep bouncing back and forth like a Ping-Pong ball.”
“Has this job got you thinking more about wanting… a normal life?”
I smothered a laugh. “That’s only something you see on TV. I’ve never had a normal life. Why start now? I like what I do. If you want the truth, I was thinking about my maker.”
“Which one?”
“I only have one.”
“Some people loosely use the word maker to describe the Mage who made you. The official term is Creator, but in your case, you have two different makers. I just want to be clear which one you’re thinking of.”
“Houdini. Does that bother you?”
“I’m not casting any judgment.”
I bent my knees and looked up at him. “We didn’t have any leftover jewelry. Not a single piece. Houdini was at that party. I was just wondering what happened to him.”
“I’m sure he’ll turn up and fill you in.”
I stroked his arm. “What happened to your maker? What was his name? Ronan?”
“Aye. After he cut ties with me, we fell out of touch. Vampires are lonely creatures, and some younglings are created as companions. But people aren’t as compatible as all that. I’m afraid there’s no tragic story other than what you already know.” Christian stretched. “He’s either a pile of bones or out there somewhere.”
“Do you think he’d ever call you back? You said the link between a maker and youngling is strong. Would you be tempted?”
“We’re not family, and too much time has passed.” Christian gave me the chills when he looked down. “Is there something you wish to share? Has your maker come calling?”
I scoffed and laced my fingers together, my gaze fixed on the ceiling. “He’s always calling. I still don’t know what to make of him. I hate everything he did to make me immortal, but sometimes…”
“Remember that time he sold you on the black market?”
“I know. I know. I just wish I could figure him out.”
“Why is that so important to you?”
“Because I haven’t yet decided if he’s an ally or a foe. He seems to play both sides.”
“And what would you do if he were a foe? Kill him?”
