“Lakota has nothing to do with how I feel about you. I want to win your love, and if that means gaining your brother’s respect, then that’s what I’ll do, even if we never resolve what’s between us.” Tak shifted in his seat to face me and drew closer. “Could you ever love someone like me? Or is Dutch the kind of man you want? I bet he wears white turtleneck sweaters in winter.”
As I sat there staring into Tak’s chocolaty eyes, I finally saw the light. I used to see my father as a pillar of strength, and I believed that I needed a stoic and formidable man like him to balance out my free spirit. But after meeting Tak, I realized how much like my father I really was. What I needed was a man who could make me laugh, who would protect me with his life—someone who was easy to be with and didn’t want to control or fix me. I needed a man to scoop me up in his arms and tell me what he wanted, and that was exactly the kind of man Tak was. Who else would have been so tender and patient with me during a panic attack? Even as an alpha, Tak always put my needs first.
How was it possible to have such a strong emotional connection to someone I’d only just met? No matter how much I wanted to reason it away, the feeling couldn’t be ignored. If this was his invitation to courtship, I couldn’t take this discussion lightly.
“What can you offer me?” I asked.
Tak stroked my shoulder. “A man like Dutch has money, but can he make you laugh so hard that your soul shines? He probably has a big home, but can he shelter you with his love? His eyes are as blue as the sky, but can he see inside your heart and know your desires? The reason I didn’t attack that grizzly is because the only thing that mattered was protecting you. I didn’t berate you this afternoon or let you run off, because you needed someone by your side to make you feel safe. I don’t know you, Hope Church. I don’t know your cherished memories or your favorite pair of shoes, but I know your spirit wolf just as certain as I know my own.” His hand slid down and held mine, and I saw something in his eyes I didn’t like—doubt. “I’m a fractured man who can only bring you shame for what I’ve done in my past, and I don’t deserve to ask for your heart. But I can’t walk away without knowing if you love me. If you think me unworthy, we’ll part ways with good memories between us. I just need to know if you love me. Even a little.” His downcast eyes shielded the depths of his sorrow. “Maybe that will be enough for me to live the rest of my life alone.”
My lip quivered at his brave confession. The two sides of Tak’s face didn’t represent good and evil as he believed. They were guilt and hope. He wanted to declare love without fighting for it. He wanted me to remind him of what it felt like to be loved, but he still battled with the part of himself that believed he didn’t deserve happiness.
“Tak, why do you think you’re so undeserving? Charitable love is beneath you. That’s not the way I want to love a man, and that’s not the way I want a man to accept my love.” I stroked his cheek, my fingers running along the dark patterns of ink. “Ask me the question when your heart is whole again, and I’ll give you my answer.”
It hurt to deny him, but had I said yes, he would have always regretted the way he offered me his love. If we were meant to be, rejection wouldn’t deter him but only make him more determined. For Shifters, half the battle was the chase. Besides, he needed time to consider his options. I wasn’t the princess he held me up to be. I was a woman with a checkered past, and he was a man who would never rise to leadership within his tribe.
We were two wrongs, and I wasn’t so sure if together we could make it right. Tak needed to be all in, and so did I. We weren’t there yet, and I wasn’t sure what had to change to make that happen.
“Do you accept my offer?” I asked, unable to read his expression.
When the buzzer went off in the kitchen, Tak howled with laughter. With a wide smile, he rose to his feet. “The fates mock us. Perhaps I should listen to them and accept your peppers first.”
Chapter 21
“You are such a cheater!” I cried.
Tak couldn’t hide his impish grin, nor did he try. “How can I cheat at dice?”
“That’s your third Yahtzee.”
“The spirits of my ancestors are watching over me.” He penciled in his score. “I like this game. Ours are competitive and not left to chance.”
“This is competitive,” I argued.
“Yes, but no one loses a finger rolling dice like they do on an axe blade. Is this what people like to play in the city?”
“I don’t know what other people do, but we like to have game night. I prefer word games, but I wanted to give you a fair chance, so I picked this one.”
I leaned against the couch, my left arm on the cushion. After dinner, we’d moved the coffee table and made ourselves comfortable on the floor with pillows. Tak wanted to stretch out after eating six stuffed peppers. Hours of conversation later, I’d challenged him to a game.
Tak draped his arm across his knee. “Oh, really? Does my vernacular lead you to believe that I’m illiterate?”
“I assumed you only spoke in your native tongue most of the time,” I confessed. “Since you live with your tribe, and they’re all your people, there’s no reason to speak English.”
Tak said something in his language that made my toes curl. He sipped his ice tea and then set the glass down. “My father is adamant about giving his people a solid education. After we teach our children about our own culture and history, they learn about the world. Many of us are multilingual. I’m also fluent in French.”
“But why?”
Tak threaded his hair away from his face. “Those who collect gemstones and negotiate with traders have to travel. We interact with many different cultures. My people are fluent in not only the languages of the Breed tribes but also that of the human ones.”
“And when do you use French?”
He lowered his eyes to the dice on the floor, which were showing all sixes. “Long ago, my father prepared me for negotiating with traders in Canada. But then I tattooed my face.”
Tak didn’t finish, nor did he need to explain. A two-faced Shifter wouldn’t instill confidence between business partners. He might appear dodgy, especially as the son of the Iwa tribe’s great leader. This way, Tak didn’t have to deal with outsiders constantly barraging him with questions about his tattoo. He had marked himself for his tribe, but he wasn’t obligated to share his story with outsiders. Even without them knowing the meaning behind the tattoo, I noticed the way people on the street looked at him. The cold stares from Shifters who whispered to one another as they passed by. In our territory, alphas commonly inked themselves with memorable tattoos. But on their faces? It raised too many questions.
“I like your face,” I blurted out. “And I think you should go to Paris.”
Tak howled with laughter and fell onto his back.
