Matteo furrowed his brow. “I haven’t. Sometimes it comforts me to know that they’re still alive, just in a different time. I’m caught in the present, and they’re still in the past. But maybe we exist simultaneously.”
“Men are so much better compartmentalizing their pain.” Blue rested her back against the tree trunk. “I can’t figure out what it was all for. Why did I bring those beautiful boys into this world, only to watch them die? What was the purpose? That’s why I don’t believe in love, Matteo. Not the way you romanticize it. My own father betrayed me. My mate loved his pride more than his own child. And my love wasn’t enough to save my sons.”
He reached up and gripped the bough above his head. “It must have been hard to leave everything you knew. Not just the loss of your children but your entire community.”
“I might look young, but I’m an eighty-five-year-old Shifter. I’ve had a lot of time to adjust.”
“You’re just a toddler,” he said with a lazy smile.
Blue dried her eyes on her sleeve, grateful for the shift in topic. “And how old are you?”
“Six hundred. I don’t know the exact years, but that’s about right.”
She strolled past him. “Old man.”
“Dignified.”
“Maybe you should find someone your own age.”
He chuckled softly. “Are you ashamed to be seen with me?”
“Ashamed to be seen with a man who never bathes and wears a mop on his head? Never.”
“If I cut my hair, I cut my chances of wooing you.”
“That’s superstition.”
“Say what you will, but my people believe it.”
“You must have courted a lot of women judging by the length of your mane.”
Matteo suddenly twisted her into his arms. “I haven’t stopped thinking about our kiss. Day and night. No matter what I do, where I go, all I can taste are your sweet lips.”
When he leaned down, Blue panicked and stepped back.
Matteo still clutched her hands. “Give me a chance. I’ll love our children no matter what Breed they are—even if they’re human.”
“I don’t want a family.”
“But if you mated again, whatwouldyou want? I can give you so much love.”
Blue shook her head. “I don’t care about love. I would just want a man with integrity—someone who’s wise and always does the right thing. Someone who would never betray me. A noble man who lifts himself up in this world without stepping on others or becoming a victim of greed. A man who doesn’t run from his problems.”
Matteo’s grip loosened until their hands parted. “I can be those things. I can try.”
“Your wounds are still fresh, and somehow you think I can erase all that. You’re where I was decades ago, and you have a long way to go before you figure out your purpose. Some people aren’t meant to have all the happiness in the world. Maybe the best we can do is give it to others. You have a noble job guiding children to that safe haven, and maybe that’ll heal your wounds.”
Matteo clasped his hands together. “And the girl you saved, does that lessen your pain?”
Blue didn’t have an answer for that.
“Which one gives you more peace: the lives you save or the lives you take?” he asked.
“I don’t know. That’s my honest answer. I’m glad the girl’s with us, even though it’s temporary. Her pack shared the children.”
Matteo’s upper fangs descended. “Theywhat?”
“Don’t flip your switch on me. This is the stuff I deal with every day, and maybe itdoesgive me a little pleasure to take out criminals who might otherwise get away with it.”
