A lightning bug flashed in front of her.
When Matteo didn’t say anything in return, Blue stole a glance at him. He had a strong profile. His nose had a slight bump, and his convex forehead gave him an intense stare. But those lips—she couldn’t help but remember how soft they were, even with that ridiculous excuse for a beard. Matteo looked like a nomad—a warrior without a home. “When is the last time someone cut your hair?”
He gave her an amused look. “Is it not to your liking?”
“I think how a man grooms himself says a lot about him. You look like you lost interest decades ago.”
“Perhaps I did. When you live alone, there’s no need for grooming.”
“It makes me think you don’t have a high opinion of yourself.”
“That doesn’t change my opinion ofyou.”
She admired the universe above. “Maybe it says more about where you are in your life. What was that look you gave me?”
“What look?”
“When I came home bleeding. I know that look. Want to tell me about it?”
He wrung his hands. “I lost my kindred spirit.”
Blue understood that most Chitahs who lost a kindred spirit to death never recovered from the traumatic loss. Even the rejected ones suffered, just not nearly as much. A kindred spirit was their perfect match—the one they were born to love.
“I’m sorry” was all she could say.
“I gave up everything, and I still failed her.”
“How?”
Matteo cleared his throat. “I was once a bounty hunter, and I made a lot of enemies. Sarah changed everything. How we met isn’t a romantic story. She was the daughter of one of the men I hunted. She proved his innocence, and it changed how I felt about my job. She made a new man out of me and talked me into building that cabin. Then she gave me a daughter, and my life was complete. I thought we’d be safe in the woods.”
Blue knew where this story was going. “But someone found you.”
“Yes. And I wasn’t there. I’d gone to negotiate a trade—we were low on meat, and I needed more traps. When I returned…” Matteo’s voice cracked, and he shielded his face. It seemed like a decade passed before he put his hands down and finished. “I should have been there to protect them. I can’t even remember what I said to her before I left. I can’t remember if I kissed her or told her that she was my world. And our baby—”
Matteo’s upper and lower fangs punched out, giving him the appearance of a wild cat.
Blue didn’t dare move. If a Chitah flipped their switch, they could be unpredictable. She didn’t know this guy well enough to guarantee her safety.
His nose twitched, and he covered his mouth. “Forgive me. I didn’t mean to frighten you.”
“I’m sorry for your loss, and I know those words are so weak. There’s nothing a person can say to lessen the pain. Sometimes just hearing condolences makes it worse, like poking at a wound.”
His fangs retracted. “Share your past with me.” Matteo placed his hand on her knee. “Please. You would honor me, and something tells me it’s why you aren’t with your people anymore. What brought you to this band of misfits?”
She gave a mirthless chuckle. “Fate, I guess.”
“Does your family not miss you?”
“I have no family.”
He lightly squeezed her knee and withdrew his hand. “Was it that bad?”
“Worse.” Blue sometimes imagined her pain as a lake beneath a thin sheet of ice. She had spent years freezing the surface, working on protecting those waters with a solid layer that nothing could penetrate. But ever since finding that girl, hairline cracks had begun to form, and some of that water was leaking to the surface.
“It’s easier to talk to a stranger,” he said. “I’ve never told my story to anyone, and even though I didn’t reveal every gruesome detail, I feel comforted in a strange way. Think of it this way: if you choose me as your mate, you’ll have confided your deepest secrets and shown me your trust. If you reject me, you’ll never see me again, and you won’t be reminded that someone knows your secrets.”
The temptation beckoned her. Blue had given Niko a few small details, but not nearly all of it. Even Viktor didn’t know the full story.
