“I know the burden of secrets. Can you discuss it with Viktor?”
“Afraid not.” Christian sighed and sat back. This whole situation felt like a blister on his soul. “Just someone I’d rather forget, but I can’t.”
“An old flame?” Niko quipped. But then he did that thing where he looked at Christian’s skull as if flames were shooting out.
Christian grabbed his drink. “I’ll thank you kindly to quit peeping at my light.”
“I can’t help it any more than you can help noticing facial expressions.” Niko bound his nape, using a leather tie from his pocket. “I don’t know who this is about, but your emotional energy reveals a lot. I can relate to the struggle of moving on.”
“And how’s that?”
“My Creator wronged me, but I wound up in an even worse situation after I escaped with Cyrus. Believe it or not, I spent years wondering if I’d made the right decision. Had my Creator been so unfair? A few centuries of slavery and I could have become a strong ally in his army. I could have been someone at the expense of my dignity. I hated him and I loved him. He made me.” Niko folded his arms and shifted his gaze toward Christian’s chest. “You can still have residual feelings for someone even if they’ve wronged you. It’s hard to let go of the life you imagined with them. It’s irrational, and I think it illustrates the complicated dynamic between Raven and her Vampire maker.”
Christian couldn’t argue. Raven’s relationship with Houdini vexed him. But he had to be careful about how often he brought up the subject as it would only drive a wedge between them. She had to learn for herself how toxic a man like that really was, and though Houdini professed to have her best interest at heart, a manipulative person had the gift of convincing others that they could do no wrong.
Niko reached for his water and savored a long drink until the glass was empty. “But your situation is different than mine, isn’t it? Old flames are hard to put out because they’ve burned the longest. I’ve seen it destroy men, and that is love’s most dangerous side effect.”
“Who said anything about love?”
Niko impassively touched his lower lip but didn’t reply.
Christian shifted his gaze into the gathering room. Despite everything, Christianhadonce loved Lenore. She’d used him, controlled him with her ancient blood, and discarded him like trash. He’d spent decades feeling resentful and angry while devoting his life to protecting others, as if that could somehow wash away his sins. After a while, he’d buried his pain, and life was tolerable again. But Lenore’s unexpected return had resurfaced those old feelings—only now his bitterness had turned into betrayal and hurt. Did that mean he had never stopped loving her? Did it mean Lenore still had influence over him? Or did it mean he simply hadn’t put the past behind him as she clearly had?
And then there was Raven. Exquisite, confident, capable—everything he desired. Yet she was so young. So very young. What if she one day decided that he wasn’t enough, just as Lenore had? Christian didn’t exactly have a good track record in the love department. If anything, he’d learned that feelings weren’t always reciprocated in the same way.
“If you have feelings for anyone else,” Niko said, lowering his voice, “you shouldn’t bury them.”
“I’d like to.”
“I don’t mean the person. You have to face your innermost desires and fears and conquer them. It’s the only way you’ll be able to move forward.”
“Been doing a little conquering yourself, have you?” Christian knocked back the rest of his drink.
“Of course not.”
“Don’t be tellin’ me fibs. You’ve got a woman out there, haven’t you? Bet she’s still pining over you.”
Niko didn’t display any physical signs of lying like blushing or sweating. But his capillaries widened just enough that a Vampire would notice, and Christian heard a fluctuation in his heart rhythm. The man had secrets.
Remembering he had a job to do, Christian scooted out of the bench seat. “If Raven comes back, tell her I’m busy. I need to get started on creating her new identity.”
Niko felt around the table and collected the dishes before standing up. “I wish I could contribute.”
“Enjoy your time off. It’s not often we get any. Besides, Wyatt can’t do everything, now can he? You might be able to help him make a few calls and reserve a nice hotel for Raven. If it’s left up to him, he’ll choose the cheapest dump that money can buy.”
Niko inclined his head. “I’ll work with him tonight, after I’m finished with Raven. She’ll need a hotel within walking distance, and Viktor doesn’t want her straying far. That will limit our choices.”
“Why walking distance?”
“She shouldn’t drive her vehicle. Someone might run a check on it, and Wyatt won’t have time to change those records to match her fake identity.”
Christian nodded. “Good thinking. I’d rather you stay here and help Wyatt. We can’t afford to make any careless mistakes.”
“Raven will also need proper attire. Wyatt mentioned that Shepherd plans to scope out the club tonight. I assume when he returns, he’ll be able to provide information on the employee dress code. Raven will need to go shopping tomorrow.”
Christian scratched his head. “Raven isn’t the only one who’ll need new threads. Claude can’t work in a place like that without the right look. I know a thing or two about male workers in adult clubs. Viktor just needs to tell me what his position will be.” Christian clasped his hands behind his back and looked at his shoes. “Raven will need contact lenses, and I suspect Wyatt’ll need to pick up a few things to make Blue’s phone necklace. Might as well make it a team outing.”
“We were almost arrested on our last shopping trip.”
