His jaw set.
“You’re good at reading people’s light. Don’t tell me you haven’t spotted them once or twice when we’ve gone out. They sure as hell noticed you. And whoever that guy is, he’s not going anywhere. Ignore the past all you want, Niko, but eventually it’s going to make you pay attention. Why not face it on your own terms instead of waiting for it to destroy you? Don’t misinterpret my actions. I want to stay here. I want to start a new life and be a better person, whatever that means.”
Niko shook his head. “Keystone isn’t about angels and sinners. We help people, but your hands won’t be clean. Sometimes we have to turn a blind eye, and sometimes we have to kill. If you imagined yourself a monster before, don’t assume getting paid will change anything.”
“I thought that was the whole point of joining Keystone. To clean up our act.”
He took a few steps toward me. “It’s easy to lose yourself when you’re alone. Viktor uses our talents and keeps us from crossing the line. Otherwise, we would become no different from the men we hunt. We’re ideal for this job because we have nothing to lose, but that also makes us a danger to ourselves.”
“Viktor can’t control our lives.”
When I veered left to go through the open doorway to my bathroom, I felt his fingers swipe my bare back as if he were grabbing for my shirt.
Niko inclined his head when he realized I was naked. “Apologies.”
I sighed, not at all upset with him. “If Shepherd’s gone off the deep end and he does something to bring this organization down, then I’m with you. But… I also think we’re entitled to free will when it comes to personal matters. What I want isn’t going to hurt Viktor or the team.”
He turned away and strolled toward the window. “It’s not just about what could bring down Keystone. Viktor’s rules also protect us. Desire makes you weak, whether that desire is for love, revenge, or material things.” Niko moved around to the desk, feeling some of the objects on it. “It would be a shame to lose you, Raven. I’ve come to enjoy our private conversations.”
“That’s not a threat, is it?”
“You needn’t worry. This conversation is between us. But like Christian and Shepherd, I can see you’re still struggling with letting go. Those men who follow me are inconsequential. I have the power to walk away, whereas before Keystone, I didn’t. This is my life now, and I no longer entertain ghosts.” He furrowed his brow and held up the stainless-steel box. “Did you solve this yet?”
I shook my head. “It’s a cube for decoration. It has neat little etchings on the sides. Can you feel them?”
It danced on the tips of his fingers. “It’s a puzzle box. Didn’t you know?”
I strode around the bed and looked at it. “Gem translated the symbols, but she didn’t say it was… What exactly is a puzzle box?”
He began attempting to twist and push at it. “They’re a novelty. Usually there’s a hidden compartment, and the only way to access it is by solving the puzzle. You press the pieces or slide them in a specific order.” He finally held it out for me to take. “I’m afraid it’s not mine to solve.”
I gripped the cube and set it on the bed. “Are we good? I don’t want you to leave on a bad note. I’m not planning anything devious to undermine Viktor. It’s—”
“Personal,” he finished. “The most difficult decision you’ll ever make is to let go of the thing you want most. If this is a test, the fates will punish you for making the wrong choice, even if it might seem like the right one.”
“The fates gave up on me the day I was made. They don’t care about me anymore. Please don’t mention this to Viktor. I don’t want him doubting my intentions.”
Niko bowed. “As you wish.” When he reached the door, he stood still for a frozen moment. “I won’t enter your room again without knocking. I had no right to disrespect your privacy.”
I laughed. “You’re the only person in this house I don’t mind seeing me naked.”
“That’s because I’m blind.”
“Exactly.”
“Some blessings are a curse,” he said, quietly leaving the room.
* * *
Since Shepherd was stillunfit for public appearances, Christian and I volunteered to head over to Club Nine and search for his keys. If we couldn’t find them, Christian knew a locksmith. I could probably start the car with a little Mage power, but I’d never done it before and didn’t want to risk blowing up his engine.
It was late afternoon, and the snowfall was finally tapering off. I peered inside my trench coat while Christian turned into the parking lot.
“That’s the third time you’ve looked in there,” he said. “Did you lose your breasts?”
“No. I’m just wondering if I can hide a few daggers in here. I’ve always had to carry the big one strapped to my leg, but that’s not practical when I’m wearing jeans. The push daggers are fine; I like them close to my body for easy access.”
“When Shepherd comes out of his cave, maybe he’ll take a look. He’s clever with modifications.”
