"That's hard," he said quietly.
I looked at him, surprised.
"Having him here. After everything." He wasn't looking at me, just staring out at the yard. "Makes sense it'd mess with your head."
"I don't want him back."
"Didn't say you did."
"I just don't want you to think?—"
"Elena." His eyes met mine. "You don't have to explain it."
"But—"
"You loved him once. That doesn't just disappear." His voice was matter-of-fact. "Him being here is complicated. I get that."
Something loosened in my chest. No one had said that to me. Everyone expected me to just be over it.
"Wounds take time," he said. "I'm not asking you to have it figured out."
He looked away for a moment. Cleared his throat, then looked back.
"But I'm..." He stopped. "I'm here. If you..." Another pause. "What I mean is..."
He rubbed the back of his neck, clearly uncomfortable.
"I'm here. Now. That's... yeah."
He looked at me like he'd just said something incredibly stupid and was waiting for me to confirm it. This man could build an entire house but couldn't finish a sentence about feelings. But he meant every fumbled word.
Fuck it.
I leaned forward and kissed him.
He went still for half a second, surprised. Then his hand came up to my face, gentle, and he kissed me back.
When we finally pulled apart, he was looking at me like he wasn't quite sure this was real.
"Okay," he said.
I laughed. "Okay?"
"Yeah." The corner of his mouth lifted. "Okay."
The dogs had stopped playing and were staring at us from the yard. Scout's head was tilted, like he was trying to figure out what just happened.
I leaned into Caleb's shoulder, watching the sun move across the grass. After a moment, his arm came around me.
CHAPTER 25: MATT
Ineeded wood stain.
Dad's porch railing was rotting in places, and I'd promised to fix it this weekend. Something to do with my hands that had a clear beginning and end.
The hardware store was quiet for a Saturday afternoon. Just a couple of old-timers by the register talking about the weather, a woman browsing light fixtures. I grabbed a cart and headed toward the back where they kept the exterior finishes.
I turned the corner into the paint aisle.
