I left it on my pillow. I grabbed my keys and wallet, and with one last look at Hayden’s sleeping form, I slipped out the door.
The hotel hallway was quiet, most guests still asleep. Outside, the morning air hit me like a slap, cool and bracing after the warmth of our room. The snow was already melting quickly, dirty slush piling along the curbs while the center of the roads were wide open. Texas snow never lasted long.
I climbed into my truck, started the engine, and just sat there for a minute, hands gripping the wheel. What the hell was I doing? Running away again, like I always did when things got real?
I pulled out of the parking lot, not really sure where I was headed. The streets were nearly empty, just a few early risers clearing snow from sidewalks or warming up their cars. I drove aimlessly, my mind racing faster than the truck.
What if I didn’t leave Sagebrush in the spring? What if I stayed?
But then what? Work at Turner Ranch forever? That had never been my plan. I’d always moved on before, finding the next place, the next job. Never looking back.
And what about Hayden? He had his own life to get back to. California, modeling, the ocean he missed so much. I couldn’t ask him to stay in a small Texas town for me. That wouldn’t be fair. He had big dreams and big plans. And now that he was free of that shitty ex of his, things could only get better for him. Who was I to ask him to give up all that just to be stuck in a small town or wandering ranch to ranch for the rest of his life?
I found myself at a little coffee place, a franchise filled with teenage zombies working behind the counter. All of them looked exhausted and like they’d had the stuffing beat out of them. Then again, it was barely past six in the morning. If you weren’t used to it, this was obnoxiously early to have to deal with customers.
I ordered a black coffee, adding a muffin as an afterthought. The girl behind the counter barely made eye contact as she handed me my change. I couldn’t blame her.
Finding a corner table by the window, I watched as the town slowly woke up. Cars began to fill the streets, people rushing to work now that the roads were clear. Normal life resuming after the brief interruption of the snowstorm. That’s how it always went, a moment of chaos, then back to routine like nothing had happened.
Butsomethinghad happened. Something that had shaken my foundations more than I wanted to admit.
I sipped my coffee, wincing at the bitter taste. It wasn’t like Dolly’s. Nothing ever was. My mind wandered to the foster home I’d stayed in the longest, almost two years with the Henry family. They’d been good people, kind even. Mrs. Henry made the best chilaquiles I’d ever tasted, and Mr. Henry taught me how to change the oil in a car. But when their biological son needed to move back home, there wasn’t enough room for me anymore. And just like that, I was no longer welcome.
That’s how it always worked. You were wanted until you weren’t.You were family until you weren’t. The lesson stuck. Don’t get attached, don’t put down roots, and don’t expect to stay.
So why was I sitting here thinking about buying land near Sagebrush? Why was I wondering what Hayden’s face would look like in the morning light of my own place? Why was I picturing him at Dolly’s diner, laughing with the locals, becoming part of the town? Why did the thought of leaving all the wonderful people I’d met in Sagebrush behind fill me with dread?
“Fuck,” I muttered, drawing a curious glance from an elderly woman at the next table. I offered an apologetic smile and turned back to my coffee.
This wasn’t me. I didn’t daydream about futures with pretty boys I’d just met. I didn’t imagine what it would be like to wake up next to the same person every day. I didn’t wonder what it might feel like to belong somewhere, to someone.
My phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out, half expecting to see Hayden’s name, but it was Lucas.
Lucas: Roads clear yet? You two lovebirds heading back today?
I stared at the text, unsure how to respond. Were we lovebirds? Was this just a fling born of convenience and attraction? Or was it something more?
Another text came through before I could reply.
Lucas: And whatever you’re overthinking right now, stop it. Just be happy for once in your life, Diego.
I snorted. Lucas had an uncanny ability to read me, even through a text message and eighty miles away. But it wasn’t that simple. Being happy meant being vulnerable. Being vulnerable meant getting hurt.
And yet, the thought of walking away from Hayden made my chest ache in a way I wasn’t prepared for.
I finished my coffee and headed back to my truck. The morning sun was just coming over the horizon, filling the sky with an array of golds and pinks.
I sat in the truck for a moment, watching the sunlight paint theclouds in shades of gold and amber. The beauty of it caught me off guard. I’d seen a thousand sunrises on a thousand different ranches, but this one felt different. This one I wanted to share with someone.
With Hayden.
I drove back to the hotel, my mind still a jumble of contradicting thoughts. The parking lot was busier now, people loading suitcases into their cars, ready to continue journeys that had been temporarily paused by the snow. Soon we’d be doing the same.
When I slipped back into our room, I found Hayden sitting up in bed, my note crumpled in his hand. His hair was mussed from sleep, his cheeks flushed, and those damn freckles seemed to glow in the morning light streaming through the gap in the curtains.
“Hey,” he said, his voice still rough with sleep. “I was starting to think you’d made a run for it.”
“Just needed some coffee,” I replied, holding up the extra cup I’d grabbed on my way back. “Thought you might want some too.”
