“I will let you lead me, Willa. I will do whatever you want when it comes to us, but not your mother. She doesn’t get to be in bed with us.”
Billy nodded into my forehead, comingling our breath.
“I don’t want you to leave.”
“I have to but wish I could stay right in this bed until the baby is born.”
“It.”
“It.”
We shared a laugh and then it was time to get ready to go. We didn’t need to look at the clock. Billy’s phone beeped, and she was moving around the room, walking to the shower.
For a quick moment I leaned back into the pillow and smelled the woman I loved all around my place, wishing it could stay that way forever. Then I was up and heading to the shower too. No use in pissing Frank off, otherwise it would be a long few months waiting for the baby and furthering my attempts to make Willa the center of my universe.
November
Time passed in triple speed, and the due date was on the horizon. Yet I hadn’t made much progress in convincing Billy to marry me. But I had become a permanent fixture in her life.
“Happy Thanksgiving.” Sampson greeted me at the airport. We’d become friends over the last few months when I visited.
After the fiasco with her mom and Frank’s overbearing nature, Billy hadn’t returned east. She claimed Frank was “nesting” more than her, and she was likely right. It was fine; I’d visited her.
My routine had been to fly back and forth, visiting a few days at a time, spending precious moments holed up with Billy and Chip, and watching our little one grow inside the woman I was in love with—and yearning for more every time I left.
“I’ve never seen her as crazy about anyone as you,” Sampson told me every time he took me back to the airport, probably reacting to the pout I wore when I left. It was also why I typically told Frank I’d prefer Sampson as my driver—I needed to hear it. As a physician and a grown man, I got that Billy was the pregnant one, the person requiring all the affirmations. As just Cal, I wanted reassurance.
Remembering Sampson wished me a happy Thanksgiving, I said, “Same to you, buddy.” Thankfully, Sampson dragged me back to reality and out of my fog. It was Thanksgiving. I was here; we were having a baby soon.
Fall had fully settled in back at home. In California, daylight was scarce as we walked toward the SUV. It was the Monday before Turkey Day, and I’d landed at six o’clock. The airport was full of smiling families and people heading to see loved ones. There were snow flurries when I left, but it was in the sixties in Los Angeles. I was trying to capture every essence of the moment and hold on to it…
“I’ll be at your disposal for the next few weeks,” Sampson said when we were finally in the vehicle.
“I want to rent a car. I’m going to be here for two weeks.” I didn’t say what I really needed was some fucking control, and I’d take it any way I could get it.
Willa was due this coming Saturday, and I’d arranged to take a couple of weeks off, hoping to be here for at least a week after our baby was born. Then I’d have to continue with this bicoastal bullshit.
I would never say any of this to Willa because I wanted as much time as I could get with her. It was unfair to ask, but I wanted her all the time. I planned to suggest she come back east after the baby was born and live with me. My house would be the perfect place for her to recuperate and then train, get her body back, and be with the baby and me without the watchful eyes of the paparazzi.
“Frank said you would want your own car, but the answer is no. I’m tasked with getting you wherever you need, and to the hospital.”
I rolled my eyes and Sampson laughed.
“Fucking Frank. I’m not some wet-behind-the-ears kid who would put Billy in danger.”
“I’m not sure who is nesting more, Frank or Billy.” He was obviously in on the joke with Billy.
“Dude, he’s in mother hen mode, way more than Bill.” I used the shortened version of Willa’s nickname almost as a reminder of how close we were. I needed to feel like I was top of the heap at this juncture.
“Frank is full-on ready for a baby. A team of substitute security is constantly at the ready and my guy is house hunting like a madman for Billy and the baby.”
“And me,” I added. I knew they were looking. I’d seen one or two, and Billy had sent a few more listings over text.
“And you. You should move here, man. Full-time.”
“I’m on it. At least partially. Dealing with licensure, but I also have a practice at home. And Billy works here, but not always. It seems to get more complicated by the moment,” I rambled.
“Nothing’s complicated about being a dad.”
