I nodded to him now. “We still on for a cocktail later?”
After my brother had confirmed the time and place, I’d texted Cal with the details, and let him know Sampson would pick him up, then grab me, and we would go to Ford’s house together. I hadn’t warned him Frank would be coming along, but he was at the studio with me, and felt it best to escort me to Ford and Jamie’s house. Probably to stare daggers at Cal, which was why I didn’t warn my lover.
My loverwas how I’d begun to think about Cal in my mind. Nothing more or less. Not a friend with benefits or a partner…
Once we’d arrived at Ford’s place, the two men in my life mostly ignored one another, which was for the best. Frank hung out in the kitchen with Alfonse, Jamie’s personal assistant, courtesy of my brother.
Dale, the puppy I’d bought for Laurel, was the biggest hit of the night, especially when he peed in the corner, and Alfonse gave me the stink-eye.
“What?” I’d asked innocently, and he’d responded, “A baby wasn’t enough of a transition?”
Ford had mixed up a round of cranberry mules and toasted to the new year, a little belatedly, and a life full of chaos, eyeing Laurel and then Dale. The four of us mostly oohed and aahed over Laurel and talked about every poop and drool she’d had. I caught Ford watching my interactions with Cal out of the corner of his eye and decided to let it go. He was my big brother, and there wasn’t much I could do. Jamie had given me a huge squeeze before we left, whispering “Have fun” in my ear before we were out the door.
In the car, I’d suggested having dinner at my place again. It was easier, and “It means we can ditch,” I explained with a nod toward the passenger seat where Frank was sitting.
“I’m in,” Cal answered quickly.
When we’d arrived back at my building, Frank did a quick sweep, ran Chip downstairs, and mentioned he had a dog walker starting the following week. Finally, Cal and I were two kids left alone in a candy store—kissing, touching, breathing one another in, inhaling whatever temporary fascination this was.
Now, seated on my patio, we ate as if we did this exact thing every night. Tonight’s meal was sushi and Pellegrino. The Moscow mule at Ford’s had been enough for me.
Which brought me to this moment, when Cal was nodding in response to my asking if he was okay with staying in. I decided to take it at face value and said, “Well, what about another drink?”
“I don’t want to dull the sensation.” He leaned forward as he spoke, making sure my attention was fully on him. “This feeling is the ultimate sensation. I don’t want to lessen it or miss a moment of it. I can have another cocktail tomorrow after I visit my mom and see my brother.”
A bittersweet moment passed between the two of us, Chip on my lap.
“That’s the fantasy of the here and now and the reality of leaving tomorrow and going on to life’s disappointments.” He continued to speak softly, for my ears only, and my brain absorbed his tender words as my heart sped faster to each one.
I wanted to tell him to stay; ask him never to leave. Neither was possible, so I kept it basic. “I know you have to go, but it’s been so nice having you here. To see my life, where I live, what I do…and I know Ford was happy you got to see Laurel.”
“She’s a beautiful baby, but being with you has been the highlight. You know that.” His breath tickled my cheek as he spoke. When he winked, I felt my eyelashes lower. “I have to go,” he said, somehow knowing what I was thinking. “Work, life, and you have a movie to film.” He started to tick off the items, and with each one my heart sped a little faster.
“Our time is coming to an end.”
“Tomorrow,” he whispered as his lips brushed across my cheek. “We still have tonight.”
With those words, the sushi long forgotten, Cal scooped Chip in his hand and quickly deposited him in the condo before coming back for me. With me in his arms, he carried me inside. He walked confidently toward my room, gently placing me on my bed, swiftly removing my clothes and dropping to his knees…
The next morning we kept our goodbyes brief. I went to the studio, and he had Sampson take him to the airport. We didn’t make any promises we couldn’t keep or dream too longingly for. We let the moment pass, our feelings drifting in the air.
For a week or so, we’d been texting a few jokes back and forth. I’d been sitting in my trailer, having a cup of detox tea, when Cal popped into my DMs. The smile I felt spread across my face indicated this was always the happiest moment of my day. Hearing from Cal was quickly becoming my bright spot, and I wasn’t sure what to make of it. Some days he was funny, others serious. He asked for a puppy pic almost every time. On this day, he was feeling his humorous self.
Cal explained over texting that one of his patients messaged her spouse, “Your PULL-OUT game sucks,” to let him know they were pregnant with their third child. The first two had been conceived through in vitro, and boom, this one happened all on its own. It might have been over text, but I could feel Cal’s genuine happiness through his words. This was the type of doctor—person—he was. Woven into the fabric of his patients’ lives.
I’d texted:Pull-out game, that’s funny. I’d like to see your game…
Immediately, I rethought my words:Jk
Without acknowledging my embarrassment, Cal messaged:
I could come for a visit.
We could take that golf lesson you’ve been threatening to do?!?
What if I beat you?
I’d celebrate that.
